Pavithra
The silent air hovers over the landscape, the night’s dry coolness not yet
replaced by the sticky humidity that will come all too soon. The world
slumbers, the sun just barely reaching its bright fingers over the crest of the
low-lying hills.
Then BOOM, an explosion rocks the earth, jolting me upright as shreds of
dreams scuttle into the recesses of my memory. A garish purple monkey leers
over me, threatening to drop an unnaturally orange mango on my head. A
hodgepodge of brightly patterned curtains flap at the windows, ushering in the
sharp staccato of machine-gun fire.
My head reels. What’s happening? Where in the world am I? Gunfire?!
Then my mind catches up with me. India. Right. India. You’d think I’d be
used to this after two weeks.
Another explosion shakes the ground. I jump. No, calm down. This is
normal. It’s just a government firing range. Right outside of the compound.
The compound where forty-one children live. And where I’m staying. Completely
normal.
Without warning, a bell starts sounding. Its metallic clanging adds
grating notes to the rhythm of explosions and gunfire. All around me little
bodies begin to stir. Sleepy eyes blink, tiny mouths yawn as eleven small girls
roll out of bed. On the plastic chair by my head, my alarm clock shows the time
in an eerie blue glow. 5:45 a.m. Time to start the day. I force myself out of
bed and begin to fold the blankets and smooth the sheets with a precision that I
never use at home.
The girls smile at me. Good morning, Auntie, they chime, a hand to their
brow, palm facing out. A little salute. Good morning, I smile. Some stare
openly at my pajamas—until last night they had only seen me in the brightly
colored salwar kameez, the traditional clothing for women. The flannel pants
and t-shirt intrigued the girls (this was boy’s clothing in their minds): Super,
they breathed, fingering the heavy material, uncommon in their warm climate.
Auntie, super, thumbs up to emphasize their admiration.
I glance over at Pavithra, the newest girl at the orphanage, who looks
very lost amidst the flurry of preparations. She stands uncertainly by her bed,
rubbing her bleary eyes with tiny fists, until an older girl directs her to
brush her teeth. As she passes by me on her way to the sink, I offer a smile.
She hesitates for a second, staring with wide brown eyes. Then she quickly
averts her gaze and hurries off. I bite my lip. You poor, poor girl.
I hurriedly dress in a dark blue salwar kameez, not wanting to be late.
The girls sleep in their clothing from the previous evening and change after
breakfast when they have bathed. They find it odd that I shower at night and
wear fresh clothes in the morning. As I run a brush through my hair one of the
girls comes over, bearing a plastic jar brimming with golden liquid. Auntie? I
extend my hands, cupped, as she spoons out some of the sweet oil. Then, with
some hesitation, I pour it over my head, combing it through my hair.
Within a day or so of my arrival in India I discovered that people use
oil for grooming their hair. With their dark complexions, the girls’ hair looks
radiant: gleaming dark locks, tamed into long thick braids. Never caring much
for hair products beyond economy-sized bottles of shampoo and conditioner, I was
unused to the sensation of putting oil on my hair. It was strange for my hair
to feel sticky and greasy before the sun was even up. I was glad, however, to
smell the sugary fragrance confirming that this was coconut oil—one of the men
on the last team told me that he had discovered the boys in his cottage were
using ultrasound oil on their hair. Whatever gets the job done, I suppose.
I throw the gauzy “modesty scarf” around my neck and hurry to the porch.
The girls line up in order of height and, following the sure stride of
Nanajothi, the grandmotherly housemother, we head off across the flat dusty
earth to the round open-air meeting room. Across the way I see the boys file
out of their cottages, bare feet raising small dust clouds.
I had arrived in India two weeks before with sixteen other Americans.
After grueling plane flights, a confusing day and a half spent in the chaos of
Chennai, and a long winding journey pitching along unpaved roads into the heart
of the Southeastern countryside, we were relieved to enter the wide compound and
calm regularity of the orphanage.
Within the bamboo gates, the sunburnt earth stretched flat and wide, with
occasional buildings breaking up the horizon. Dry, mostly dead grass clung firm
to the red dirt in small, misshapen clumps. All around was the smell of warmth
and sun—moist, sticky light hovering about. The two clusters of five cottages
stood solid, their color tending more towards the dusty red of the earth than
the brilliant white they once had been. Red-tiled porch roofs slanted towards
each other like the hats of old gossips at tea. Banana trees grew haphazardly,
the tall ones bending low with the weight of their fruit, the dying ones
crouching, stripped of their leaves by the ruthless mother cow, Dora. Green
scum lined the concrete water basin for clothes washing and the nearby concrete
slab was veined with blue from the soap. From the rusty barbed wire fences
(meant to keep the cows in and the village goats out), a colorful mix of
children’s clothing waved lazily
in the warm breeze: plaid shirts and cream-colored shorts and navy pleated
jumpers and black hair ribbons and long white tube socks.
The sound of the two-cylinder engine rattling on as a thick metal cord
hauled up rocks from the bottom of a soon-to-be well, the strong spicy aromas
curling from the outdoor kitchen, the faint impressions left in the dust by
forty-one pairs of tiny feet, the mix of musty grain scattered around for the
chickens and turkeys, the soft tinkle of the bell around Dora’s neck, the gritty
mortar, grey and oozing, slopped onto row after row of new bricks. The curving
walkways hedged in by crumbling whitewashed stones, the carefully woven panels
of palm fronds making up intricately constructed huts, the silky sugariness of
hot brown tea served mornings and afternoons, the dusty floral talcum powder
copiously patted onto chocolate skin, the clop clopping of coconut halves in an
elaborate game of “red light, green light,” the constant rhythm of explosions
and gunfire puncturing the air, the studied chanting of the ABC’s and the
slender wooden fence
surrounding all eight acres of it.
The first two weeks were amazingly carefree considering that I was
staying at an orphanage. I lived in a guest cottage with six other members of
my group and the whole thing seemed almost like an extended sleepover, with
frequent henna parties and nightly card tournaments, picture taking and
sunscreen swapping. We would do work around the compound each day until the
children arrived home from school. Then there would be English lessons
interspersed with games and songs. It was always light hearted and fun and just
a bit too perfect. I ate with Americans, lived with Americans, always went home
each night to my cottage—a little pseudo-America where I was surrounded by
people who knew me and understood the Berkeley, California culture I was coming
from.
The schedules were at once structured and extremely flexible—everything
had a set time but as there were very few clocks around the property, any time
was the right time. We started and ended each day with a meal and a team
meeting. It was at one of these meetings that I first learned Pavithra’s story.
We were sitting in the open-air rotunda, lounging on plastic chairs
arranged in a lopsided circle. Viji, the Indian-American woman who had founded
the orphanage, was instructing us on Indian culture. She was nearing the end of
her talk and began to tell us the stories of some of the kids at the orphanage.
“…and the newest little girl, Pavithra arrived here just two weeks ago.
Her mother left her in the hospital at birth and then she was adopted by a
couple who were unable to have children—it’s pretty rare for Indians to adopt,
especially people who are so poor. They loved her dearly and raised her like
their own. But the wife got cancer, and even though the husband did everything
he could to get money for treatment, she passed,” Viji related calmly, her hands
folded neatly on her lap. “He was left with enormous debts and had to go out to
work each day, leaving this little girl to wander around unattended. He heard
about this orphanage and decided it would be best for her to live here. The
first night he waited at her bedside until she fell asleep and left her side
weeping—just overcome with emotion.” She finished to absolute silence.
Oh. My. Oh my. I sit in shock as Viji goes on to relate other
children’s stories—a girl who was forced to be a servant for her stepfather and
stepsiblings, a boy whose father had gambled away his life savings and burned
himself to death before the faces of his family, a set of siblings whose mother
died of cancer, a girl who was abandoned by the side of the road when she was
one day old, a boy whose father wandered off of a construction site after
suffering a head injury and was never seen again. I can’t take it in. I mean,
yes this is an orphanage but—I didn’t think—well how did I think they had become
orphans?
My view of the orphanage changed after that. The children were amazingly
joyful and eager to please. They delighted in helping us with our work around
the compound, crowding around to help scrub buckets of laundry, eagerly taking
up shovels and pickaxes in their slender arms to lay a trench for bricks, racing
across the compound with a wheelbarrow filled with clay—for them there was no
line between work and play. And yet, if I looked closely, I noticed times when
a child would pause in her action, staring at the horizon as if she were seeing
some other place, some other time. A look of pain would flicker around her
face, the tiniest hint of a frown tug at her mouth. It would be over in a
second but no words can describe the hurt and loss that had touched on those
delicate features, if only for a moment.
The fan spins lazily above my head, ineffectively stirring around heat
and dust and flies in wide arcs. I sit on a low white bench, my knees crammed
under a small white table. Forty-one pairs of wide brown eyes watch me as I
contemplate the puzzle before me. Heaped on one of the simple metal plates is a
great mound of steaming rice, smothered with thick yellow curry. The aroma of
rich spices wafts up to me. It looks delicious and I am hungry, but how in the
world am I going to eat it? It is customary in India for people to eat with
their hands, but as I had been eating with Americans for the past two weeks, I
have no clue what the proper etiquette is. Now the other Americans have gone
home, and I have moved in with the children, leaving me to figure everything out
on my own. As if on cue, all forty-one children begin to eat, expertly mixing
their food with their right hands. Tentatively I bury my fingertips into the
mound of curry, bringing a
few grains of rice to my lips.
Nanajothi sees my plight and instructs one of the younger housemothers to
bring a fork over to me. I take it gratefully and instantly regret it. Eating
with a fork when everyone else is using their hands, oh that’s a great way to
blend in. Good thinking Naomi. I hunch over in vain, trying not to stick out
among all of the tiny bodies on the bench beside me. The children, normally
quite talkative, are uncharacteristically quiet, and I feel the silence pressing
in on me.
When I am finally (finally!) done, I rise to wash my dishes at the sink
in the back of the kitchen. Halfway there, a little boy reaches out for my
plate. I can wash it¸ I tell him. No, he shakes his head emphatically, No,
Auntie, I do. I relent, hating myself for it. I know that there is a great
respect for elders in Indian culture but I am unused to being waited on by
others. How can people get used to this? All I want is to blend in.
Nah-womi, vhat are you doo-wing? Nanajothi asks, a smile occupying her
tiny wrinkled features. I am sitting on my bed, reading (On Writing the College
Application Essay by Harry Bauld—useful stuff). Um, I’m reading, I hold up the
book, it’s for univers—uh, school. School, yes, school she can relate to. I
figure it isn’t wise to talk about things like college in a community where many
can’t even buy food. She nods, her hands clasped in her lap as she sits
serenely in a beige plastic chair. She looks every bit the teacher that she
once was, reminding me of the studied patience that characterizes those who
instruct preschoolers (Oh, that’s a very nice picture—I love all the colors! It
looks just like a stegosaurus in a tutu eating giant gingersnap at the North
Pole! If I didn’t know better, I’d have thought you’d taken a photo.)
As I read, the girls come up. Goodnight, Auntie, they say. That tiny
salute. They blow a kiss (Mutum, they tell me, kiss). Goodnight, I tell them,
catching their floating kisses, stuffing them into my pockets. They laugh. I
smile.
I turn back to my reading, jotting down notes and snatches of essay ideas on a
legal pad. I am just finishing reading an explanation of why every idea I could
possibly have has already been done before, that essay has been written, it’s
now a cliché, sorry, tough luck, when I become aware of the tension in the room.
I look up and see Pavithra standing before Nanajothi who is talking rapidly in
Tamil. She points in my direction. I hear the words “auntie” and “goodnight.”
One of the older girls demonstrates: Goodnight, Auntie, she says, showing
Pavithra the salute. Pavithra stands silent. Nanajothi raises her voice. The
words sound harsher. The other girl talks rapidly, moving Pavithra’s hand into
a salute. Pavithra still doesn’t say anything.
The slap cuts off all other noise in the room. I cringe. Pavithra stands,
tears welling up in her eyes. What is going on? Is this because of me? I
don’t care if she doesn’t say goodnight. Please stop. Please stop. Please
stop. Suddenly the room is too small. If only I could tell them. If only I
could understand what they are saying. Is this a cultural norm? Is it really
as harsh as it seems to me? Does this happen when I’m not here? Is it only
happening because I am here? Please stop. Please stop. I wish I was somewhere
else, anywhere else. I want to be home where I am understood and can understand
and where I don’t feel so out of place and where I am not the cause of
punishments when I don’t even know what’s happening.
Pavithra is sent over to me, she is crying, gulping air. Goodnight, Auntie,
Nanajothi instructs. Goodnight, Auntie, the girls instruct. I try to smile at
her. She raises a trembling hand to her forehead. She is hiccupping. Oh,
please don’t hate me for this. Please just say it Pavithra. Please. Please.
Goodnight, Auntie, they insist. Please stop. God, please stop. Pavithra
still stands there, racked with sobs. Her hand at her forehead, hair matted,
tears flowing. Please, Pavithra. Please, just say it. It wasn’t my doing. I
didn’t want this. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. Just say it. Please please please.
I don’t know what happens exactly. I know that Pavithra doesn’t say “goodnight”
but at some point Nanajothi relents and sends her to bed. I don’t know what to
do. I know that they were trying to show me respect but I was only being
further ostracized in the process. I can’t deal with all these cultural
differences by myself. I mean, coconut oil and salwar kameez I can do; I can
learn how to do laundry on a concrete slab and even to eat with my hands. But
this is too much. For the first time since I’ve arrived in India I feel
homesick. I miss talking to people and not feeling like I’m constantly messing
up. I miss complicated card games and jokes and singing Disney songs. I miss
my idealized India where I could go out and associate with the children during
the day, and go back to my American friends in our little American haven at
night.
That Monday is a school holiday. The children are tireless and want to
continually play “Go Fish” (Don’t show people your cards! I instruct them.
Auntie, they complain, showing me their cards, all the children is cheating!),
and “Red Light, Green Light” (Who wants to be “It?” I ask. Me “It,” please
Auntie, me “It,” they plead), and volleyball (I told you, I’m terrible at
sports, I say. No, Auntie. You super. My team, they insist). Finally I make
excuses and retreat to my bed.
I am flipping through pictures on my camera when Pavithra comes into the
cottage. I look up and smile, trying to convey everything I can’t communicate
in words. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean for that to happen. Please don’t hate
me. To my surprise, she grins and comes over to where I am sitting. She says
something in Tamil, pointing to the camera. Do you want to take a picture? I
ask, showing her how. She says something else. I wish I had listened to those
Tamil tapes Viji had given us back in March. Yeah, I say, Press that button.
Hold it down like this. The flash goes off. She jumps, then laughs.
Can you say “Auntie?” I ask tentatively. Say “Good morning, Auntie.” Maybe I
can prevent further punishments this way. I point to myself, Auntie Naomi, I
point to her, Pavithra. She just looks at me and then reaches for the camera.
Oh well, maybe not. She aims the camera at my face, the flash goes off. She
giggles, delighted. I smile, wishing that this could go on forever.
But more girls enter the cottage now and, upon seeing my camera, make a beeline
for my bed. As I try to facilitate an elaborate hand-off of the camera,
Pavithra loses interest and wanders off. Sorry, I whisper, turning away in time
to catch the camera as it falls to the floor.
A bright rainbow parachute lies on the dusty ground, pinned down by the weight
of all forty-one children arranged about the edge. The second team of
volunteers has arrived and with them came suitcases full of decorations, crafts,
treats, and games. Two of the guys head over towards the parachute, rolling the
gigantic red ball that has been sitting on the porch of one of the boy’s
cottages for a day and a half. The thing is over six feet in diameter, blown up
by a pump large enough to inflate a bounce house. The kids get excited. What
in the world do these crazy Americans have in mind?
I stand off towards the side with a few team members, snapping photos as the
ball is placed in the center of the parachute. The kids are instructed to push
the ball around the circle. It starts rolling in wide arcs, bouncing up, met by
many little outstretched hands, many beaming faces. I am laughing with some of
the girls from the team, That thing is HUGE! I wouldn’t want it coming at my
head, when I see Pavithra running towards me, a look of terror on her face. Her
hands are outstretched, and I reach down to scoop her up. She is light, lighter
than some babies that I’ve held, but her thin arms latch around my neck, she
will not be let go of. I won’t let you go. She is whimpering, shying away from
the parachute and the ball and the ring of laughing, smiling faces.
I take her away from the circle and we watch the game from afar. There are some
chairs and I ask through gestures if she wants to be put down. She shakes her
head. No. No, no. Okay, okay don’t worry. I’m not going to let go. It’s
okay. That’s kind of scary isn’t it? It’s okay Pavithra, it’s okay. I’ve got
you. It’s okay. You don’t have to go back. It’s going to be alright. She
takes my camera and starts playing with it, slowly calming down. I hold her
tightly, balanced on my hip. Everything will be okay now, Pavithra, for both of
us.
Okay, we’ll try this again. It is almost the end of the trip and I have yet to
eat comfortably with the children. When the second team came, I began eating
with them, slinking away, head down, tail between my legs. But I’m back and am
determined to do this right.
The heaping plate looks a little less daunting this time and I plunge my fingers
into the thick curry without hesitation. Though I am not the most graceful
eater, I manage to finish my meal with no mishaps and no food dropped into my
lap. Step one, done.
As I head to the sink a girl reaches out for my plate, Auntie? She smiles. No,
thank you, I tell her firmly, I can wash it. A boy comes up, Auntie, please?
I, he points emphatically to his chest, I. You, no. I shake my head, smiling,
as I reach the sink and thrust the plate under the spigot of water. Thanks, but
I can get it. Auntie will wash her own plate.
It is the last night. The children are playing in the balmy dusk, making mud
pies, kicking balls around, scratching pictures into dusty paths. I am packed
and have wolfed down my last meal in India, at least for now. I have washed the
coconut oil from my hair and have traded my salwar kameez for the jeans and
t-shirt that have been sitting at the bottom of my suitcase for the last month.
It feels so strange to wear form-fitting clothing again and to not feel the
tickle of a scarf around my neck.
The children stare at me with wide eyes. Besides the baggy pajamas, not a far
cry from Indian clothing, they have not seen me in western apparel. Super, they
all say, thumbs up, smiling in wonder, Super.
I am running around the compound, making sure that I say goodbye to every single
child. I can’t believe this is it—that in twenty-four hours I will be back in
America, in my house with my room and my things. I don’t know how I feel about
leaving. I have come to love India, and if it wasn’t for missing my family and
friends, I think I could stay here forever. Auntie, some of the girls pout,
when you go, fly away to America, you mother is smile but all the children, all
the children is crying. They make me promise to come back, to bring my whole
family, all my friends, heck, bring the entire U.S. population. I smile. I
nod. I promise. I will be back.
The children shower us with gifts—mostly the crafts that we have made with them
the past two weeks. When we try to give them back they tell us firmly, no.
These are for us. So we won’t forget the children. We won’t forget.
We have finally gotten ourselves and our luggage crammed into the hired trucks
and vans that will take us to the airport (oh, the beauty of no seatbelt laws).
I am just closing the door when Pavithra comes running up. I roll down the
window and Nanajothi hoists her up to my level. Shyly, she drops a paper fish
into my hand, covered with tissue paper and glitter. I smile at her, Goodbye,
Pavithra. She says something in Tamil, blowing a kiss. I catch it, holding
tight to that piece of air. Mutum, I whisper, kiss.
Then, as we start to roll away, Naomi. Did I hear it? Wait, what did you say?
I shout out of the window. I have to know. Did you say “Naomi?” I ask.
She just smiles.