HOW TO BEAT FEAR            
       There she is in the middle of the courtyard. She is so beautiful with her pitch black hair, tomato red lips and blue glazed eyes. She makes my heart stop when I see her. If only she paid attention to me, if only.
       I guess is sort of my fault that she does not pay attention to me because I never go near her and I only talked to her once. I do not understand what is wrong with me? I just can not be always be looking at her behind a wall. I need to break out of my shell and get to know her.
       I start to walk to her very, very, very slowly. Just little baby steps. I can’t do it. I return back behind the wall I was just in.
       “ This is harder than I thought,” I say to my self out loud.
       “ What’s harder than you think Charles,” I hear a voice say to me.
       Oh no. Do not look back Charles just ignore the voice.
       Dam I looked back, “ oh, hi Dan, what’s up. “
       “ Nothing much Charles. What are up to? ” Dan says to me.
       Do not say anything to him Charles, Wave goodbye and leave. Do it now.
       “ Nothing, I am not doing anything. Nope, nada,”
       why? Charles, why?
       “ Really, because from here I can see a very good view of girl.”
       Oh man he knows.
       “ What is her name again. Is it Kate, Talia, Nina or is it…”
       “IT’S ANGELA. HER NAME IS ANGELA AND I , CHARLES, LIKE HER A LOT. SHE IS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL GIRL I EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE, ” I get closer to Dan point a finger to his face and scream, “ AND ONE DAY I WILL TELL HER THAT.”
       Dan smiles and says ” I think you already did.“
       To my surprise everybody in the court yard was staring at me even Angela. It was like those moments on TV, where a kid makes a big scene and everything goes silent except for a the cricket chirping. This was real life so no cricket.
       Dam it Charles I told you to wave bye and leave. Now look what happened now all the school knows you like Angela.
       Good.
       Good?
       Yes because now she knows and now I will wait to hear her response.
       “ Hey Kate. who is Charles? ” I hear Angela say to her friend.
       Damn.
I can't believe it. she doesn't even know my name. we sit one seat apart one desk in class and yet she doesn't know my name. I can't take it.
I run inside the school. "hey Charles, wait," I hear Dan say but I just ignored him.
I run across the hall passing teachers and students. I stop before the door that leads to the roof. lucky for me the school can not pay to fix the lock of the door and I am the only student that knows  the door is always unlock. I run up the stairs and open the rooftop door wide open and I fall down to the floor to feel the cool breeze of the sky. I come here once in a while to relax and chill. OW!
Something hit me in the head. OW!
" Get up, " I hear.
OW! ok this ends now.
I stand up and face the kicker that will suffer. oh, it's just Dan.
" Dan, why are you kicking me," I say to Dan.
" Dude, " he says, " you are a pussy."
I put a shocked face on. me a pussy. hell no, I am not a pussy. I point a finger at Dan’s face and get closer to him and say... nothing. I lower my head and finger. " you are right Dan, aim a pussy. I can't even ask a simple question to a girl." I say to him while walking away. " I don't understand Dan, I want to tell her how I feel but... I AM A BIG OF A COWARD TO DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT," I yell as hard as I could.
"Dude," Dan says, " you have been screaming a lot lately."
He folds his arm up and leans his had to it and says, " I don't understand either. It's not that hard you know?" he inhales deeply and puts his chest out, " first push out your chest out all manly and stuff. " he then walks up to me without bending his legs while I have this what the hell is going on expression on my face.
Dan is almost nose to nose to me. I could even hear him struggle from holding his breath, " then... you...go...up...to her...and...say...aaaaaaahhhhh...huff, huff, huff, " I guess Dan can't hold his breath very long, " man, huff, never mind, huff, let's go with plan b, huff" he says to me.
" what’s plan b? " I ask him.
" Plan be is telling her how you feel without acting manly act, just nice and simple. "
"  That's your plan b. "
" Yup, you like it? "
"  Nope. "
" Well then on to plan c. "
Wow, I have never seen Dan with so many ideas. its scary.
" Plan c is...," Dan points a finger at him self, " I will tell her for you.
What!?
" What!? " I say to him.
" It's quite simple really. I will walk up to her and say ' hey Angela my friend Charles thinks that you are on fuego and like he was like wondering if like you would want to go like out with him or somethin'."
Oh yes, Dan is scary when he gets ideas.
" So, what do you think Charles? " he sys to me but I am still in some what in shock of his idea.
"You think that will work?" I ask him.
Dan shrugs.
" Ok, go tell her that."
" Alright dude you got it, " he says while running back down to the court yard.
Sigh, I hope this works Charles.
I sit down next to the roof top door waiting for Dan to came back. I wonder why I screamed back then in the court yard. Dan didn’t cause it. it's just, there was so much shit going through my head that I exploded, AAAAAAAAWW! it just was not about Angela and the fear of being able to talk to her. no, there are other things I hate about my self. EVERYTHING! I don't want to have fear of playing sports or joining clubs or making friends or even eating different foods. I am a coward.
Calm your self Charles, its ok. You are not alone in the dark. There is someone who has been with you. a friend. Your friend, Dan
That is strange. I have never noticed that that Dan has been my friend for at least five years now since I was nine. I guess he does help me a lot when I am down. huh. he is like the most popular kid in school and he can hang out with anyone but he hangs out with me. I think he is trying to help me out with my fears like right now with Angela. I know what to do I will accept his help and over come my fears.
Suddenly the door flings open and out comes Dan, " I am back and with great news," he says.
I stand up and jump with joy and say, " so she said yes, yahoo!"
" No."
I stop jumping.
" What!? "
" I didn't say that. what happened was that I went to talk to her like we planned. I found out, while she was talk, that she is boring because I almost went to sleep and that she is very cruel to others. yup, she is not the right one for you. then when I was walking back here I saw Beth. you know her right? " I just stare at him with my mouth wide open. " of course you do. well I got to thinking, Beth is an alright girl I think Charles will like her. so I walked up to Beth and told her that if she knew you? well she does know you and she wants to go out with you. I told her to wait down stairs so you to can do what couples do," I am still staring at him, " I think you will like Beth better than Angela, trust me on this one."
God damnit Dan.
Charles you must tell him that Beth is not the one you want.
No.
No!?
I trust Dan. he is my friend and if he says that Angela is boring and cruel and that Beth and I will make a good couple then I believe him.
" Thanks Dan for looking out for me," I say to him.
" Yhea whatever," he then smirks and gives me a thumbs up. I then walk down the stairs to meet Beth.
Dan was right. Beth and I did get along well. we were talking about each other for the rest of lunch. her favorite movie is tropic thunder, which is also mine. she is a Gemini, has blood type A positive, likes Italian food and plays mario cart a lot. our together time was cut short with the bell so after school I invited her to a movie. after the movie I took her home in a bus because I can't drive yet. we were standing at her door step and we said our good-byes.
        Now, I am in my cozy bed thinking that how I was great full for having a friend that helps me out.