SCARLET
She first noticed the imbalance when she hit puberty. Her right leg was longer
than her left and she learned to walk with her right leg slightly bent to find
balance. Yet her legs kept growing farther and farther apart every year, until
one day, she lost her balance and fell down the apartment stairs. Her left leg
swollen up and it bled under her skin. She moaned and whimpered but when she
showed it to her mother, her mother said, seems fine to me, and didn’t take her
to the hospital for a week. The doctor said she broke her bone and would have
healed completely if she was taken to the hospital right away, but because the
bone was displaced for over a week, she’d have to suffer from aftereffect—she
will not be able to walk on her own like she used to, she’ll have to live on a
crutch.
**************
“I’m bout to go to work now,” the man said.
No response.
“Honey? Did you hear me? I’m going to work,” the man repeated, louder.
“Alright…I heard you,” a voice came from the bedroom, followed by a woman on her
crutch. She headed towards the kitchen. “Oh, baby? I got night-shift so I’ll be
late tonight…probably around one” the woman said as she leaned towards the
counter and mixed powdered coffee with boiling water.
“Alright… I’ll go eat afterwards,” the man said and left.
The woman glanced at the table and noticed the pile of mail. She sat down and
glanced through it. Bills and ads. “My lord…” she mumbled to herself as she
separated the bills from the ads and left them on the table. She then looked
through the ads, taking a sip of her instant coffee. Her pale, chapped lips
moisturized from the heat of the coffee and her worn-out fake nails clanged on
the cup as she held on it. The shine of her cheap nails contrasted with her
pale, real nails and her fingertips were rough from washing the dishes,
colorless from the bitter drafty room. She looked though the Christmas ads with
the eyes of jealousy. One page at a time, their luxurious smiles increased the
hatred in her eyes and she threw them in the trashcan full with last month’s
ads. She grabbed the crutches next to her and went back to bed. Her left foot
out, then the crutches, then her right, then her left again.
She had a dream of her mother. Her mother was looking at herself in the mirror,
wearing a black skirt that barely covered her thigh and the scarlet lipstick she
wore to work on the street. She sat in front of the mirror for over two hours.
The clock just ticked as she applied layers and layers of foundation and set her
hair. The smell of the hair spray filled the room and suffocated the girl. Then
streetlights flashed bright and they were in the street. The girl found her
mother leaning on a fence nearby to light another cigarette. Beneath her were
four cigar butts. The streetlight emphasized her red gaudy lips and her lips
stained on the cigarette every time she puffed. Right when she was about to
light her fifth cigar, a bright red car stopped next to her and opened the front
window. She leaned toward it, smirked, and gave a high giggle.
The woman woke up with sweat dripping down from her. She wiped off the sweat
with her hand, cringed then rushed to the toilet next door, and vomited. The
mother’s high-pitched giggle echoed in her ears.
The woman returned to the living room and saw the clock almost hitting six. She
took a shower and left the apartment. She had been working at the fast-food
restaurant two blocks down. Minimum wage, but it was the only place that hired
her when she used up all the money her mother left behind before leaving the
house with the men that came every Friday.
That last night she saw her mother, she woke up from the noise in the living
room. Unsure what the noise was, the girl peaked though the door and saw her
mother stuffing clothes into a beat-up suite case that her mother bought when
they had to move out from their first apartment three years ago. –their old
apartment was, only slightly, but definitely bigger and cleaner. The girl never
understood why her mother decided to move to this apartment.-- The girl was
about to ask her mother what she was doing, but her mother spoke something
before the girl could. “Darlin’…” The words weren’t for the girl, but for the
men waiting outside the doorway. “Thanks, I mean you letting me stay at your
place means so much to me…” and her ruby lips smiled softly. All of the sudden,
she couldn’t walk towards her mother nor speak to her; she walked back to her
bed, slowly, and forced herself back to sleep. The next morning, she noticed a
white envelope on the table. She opened it and saw money in it, but her mother
never came back.
She went through the employee only door and changed from her oversized sweater
and worn-out jeans, into her uniform: white shirt, beige pants, red cap, and red
apron. She hanged her crutch in her locker and dragged her feet towards the
kitchen, to the grill. She then stood in front of the grill and flipped
hamburgers. The job required no education, no interaction, no walking, just the
motion of wrist flipping the hamburgers. “At least I’m working”, the woman
murmured; as if she was convincing herself.
From the kitchen, the woman noticed a lady sitting by herself. She wore an
oversized shirt and stretched-out-jeans, similar to what the woman herself wore
to work that day but the lady’s lips were crimson. As the woman looked at the
lady with despise and flipped the burgers, a man entered the restaurant and
headed towards the lady.
“What took you so long? I missed you”, the lady said.
He smiled at her and whispered something in her ears. She giggled. The same
giggled from her dream. The high giggle echoed in the woman’s ears, and then
gradually spread towards her head. The giggle got louder, and took over her
mind.
******
“Oh darlin’, you got those for me?” The mother approached the man –the man the
girl was told to call as “dad”, the 6th dad of that year, the dad
with a long jaw—sitting on the couch. He held a simple necklace. She took the
necklace from his hand and stared at it while placing her hands on his thigh.
She glanced back at the dad with a long jaw and gave an aww, her scarlet lips
smiled. “Darlin’ this is so sweet of you.” She place the necklace back on his
hand, “Can you help me put it on?”, the mother said as she turned back, and
grasped her hair up for him. –the dad with a long jaw traced her neckline with
his fingers, then put the glass necklace on her.
The boney dad, 4th dad of the year, entered the apartment room
as if it was his own. He had the drunk mother’s arm wrapped around his shoulder
and he carried, or, rather, dragged, her into the room. He kicked aside the
clothes and fliers on the floor to make the shortest passage to the bed. The
mother grumbled and groaned as her body bumped to the wall. The boney dad
dropped her on the bed, and got on her. The mother gagged on herself from the
shock and choked on it. Her lipstick was smudged and her hairs had lost control.
The skinny dad stared at the suffering mother and left.
The mother sat on the chair, counting dollar bills with a calculator on
her side. She was wearing sweats with no make-up. She counted the crumbled up
cash over and over, but every time she counted them, she appeared frustrated.
She gazed at the number on the calculator screen; chewed on her nail. Just then,
her phone rang.
“Hello?... oh hey I was bout to call you just now…yeah about that, are you free
tonight? I need extra cash to pa—” the man on the phone had interrupted her,
“alright, … I’ll be ready in 30min… yah, see you later”
She headed toward her room to change
into her usual clothes; black skirt, and thick coat over her tank-top. She then
sat in front of the mirror and stared at herself. She applied on her scarlet
lipstick and covered her hair with hairspray, arranging it with her fingers.
Satisfied with the look, she headed out the door.
****************
Her shift ended at 12:45AM and she walked back the street. When she
arrived to the apartment she noticed the room was still bright. The man was
usually in bed by this time and the woman saw the lights strange, yet
at the same time she was pleased to think how she’ll get a welcome back
for the first time from her night-shift. She opened the door.
“Baby, I’m back” she said, and looked around the room.
He was sitting on the table where she left the bills, and stood up when
he heard her voice.
“What’s wrong?” The woman noticed something in him. “What’s the matter,
Baby?” she asked again.
The man stood, pale, and spoke, “Honey I’m sorry but I’m breaking up with
you... and you need to leave my house”
She dropped her crutch.
“Wait what? What do you mean?” The woman asked, “Baby, you can’t just kick me
out”
The man looked straight in her eyes, motionless.
“Why? What did I do?” The woman asked again. Her voice started to shake.
“Nothing…nothing” The man shook his head, “you didn’t do anything”
“Then why? Why are you trying to kick me out the house? That ain’t fair, I mean
I’ve been working so fuckin’ hard for you, look!” She placed her hand in front
of him. Her fingers were worn out and cracked.
He stared at the fingers.
“Look!” she repeated. “They’re like this cause I’ve been washing your dirty
dishes and doing your laundry in this cold ass place… Why are you trying to kick
me out?”
The men looked at her eyes again, and then at the pile of bills.
“Are you’re kicking me out cause I didn’t pay the rent? Baby you know I can’t
work enough to pay the rent… I mean my legs…”
“Honey, it’s not only bout the bills, its more than that.”
“What is it? Baby you can’t do this to me. I mean I’m doing the best I can do.
Tell me and I’ll fix it“
“I … its not yo— …” The man looked down, then her eyes again, “do you even love
me anymore?”
The woman looked up at him with a surprise.
“I’m not here to support you forever … I need you to leave.… I’m tired”
*****
She had forgotten her crutch in the room. Her mind was still processing
what had happened that she didn’t understand what she was doing or heading, she
couldn’t. She dragged her leg to the street, and leaned against the fence. She
thought. What was it that she did wrong? Didn’t she love her boyfriend? What was
he talking about? … Why was she on the street? The red traffic lights reflected
on the woman’s face, her lips, and a car drove by. “So, how much were you
thinking of?” He grinned and the woman gazed at him.
---END---