Traveling Soldier
Smiling at the customers she chatted with, Penny walked to where her
father stood behind the counter.
"Yes, daddy?"
He bustled around behind the counter, getting together some drink order.
When he was done he placed the filled glass in front of her.
"There's a young gentleman in the corner booth, Penny. Take this to him
for me? He's interested in meeting you."
Taking the glass, she headed towards the booth, hoping to get this over with as
soon as possible.
Penny walked towards the booth, hardly paying attention to where she was
going. She looked down at the pad she had in her apron and slipped it from the
small pocket. Eyes downward, she didn't realize ran into anything until it was
too late and strong arms were wrapped around her body, holding her up.
Penny looked up from the ground, and the world seemed to stop. Warm eyes
wanted to meet her own to reassure himself he hadn’t caused her any discomfort.
Her dark brown eyes took in his entirety as she stared, not wanting to miss a
single feature. His copper shaggy hair fell soflty over his forehead, not daring
to shield his amber eyes as they continued to gaze into her own and his
lips...she wondered what they felt like as Penny found herself licking her own.
"Penny Lane!" her dad called from the back. "Are you alright, dolling?"
Getting back to reality, she stopped staring at the captivating stranger
and directed her attention towards her father. She was still enclosed in his
arms, and while she wanted to stay there forever, she knew she looked
unprofessional. The stranger must have caught the hint; because after he made
sure she was back on her feet he backed away.
Standing upright Penny got her first full-frontal look at him, taking
note to his army uniform and dog tag. Shock, Luca; it read. The realization she
felt about this man made her heart reach out to him.
"Are you okay?" he asked softly, his hand coming up to delicately touch
her arm. Chills started to bite at her skin when she felt his warm hands.
Their eyes met again, taking in the feelings that were radiating through
his. "Yes," she replied finally, her tiny voice coming out as meek as a mouse,
like if she spoke the moment would be broken
"I-I have to go back to work," she said, stepping to the side and walking
away from him, her mind whirling at the feelings such as a simple touch from him
had provoked.
She didn’t have the slightest idea how she didn’t spilled the drink she
was holding so she kept her eyes focused on the task. With one final look she
saw the other man opposite from the boy in the uniform and brought him over his
drink.
. Anybody would be lying if they said the boy in front of Penny wasn’t
anything less than gorgeous. His light brown hair fell into his face and his
eyes were a gorgeous hue of blue. But when she was finished observing her
childhood friend, Nick Conrad, Penny found herself wishing they were a stunning
shade of amber
But Penny, already found her mind drifting, and her stare floated back
towards the other booth...
Ignoring the distracting thoughts away she turned her attention towards
Nick and placed his drink in front of him with a smile.” Can I get you anything
else?"
Nick gave her a smile, pointing towards the empty seat across from him,
“How about some company?"
Penny slithered across from him, attempting her best to smile but liking
to get back to work. Penny sat down on the spare seat trying to be polite, but
wanting to continue working. Penny did her part, making small talk for a couple
of minutes before attempting to get out of the booth. "You’ll have to excuse me,
Nick. I really should get back to my tables."
"Well I hope this isn’t the last time I see you Penny.”
She smiled graciously before walking away from the table. After giving a
table of four their check Penny made her way towards the handsome strangers
booth.
"Hi," she said practically shyly, stopping as he glanced up from the menu
and met her eyes. "What can I get for you today" Her heart reached out for him,
as he made his request.
"Would you mind sitting down for a while? I'm feeling a little low," he
explained with depressing smile, and Penny realized she must've looked somewhat
frightened at his request.
"I'm off in an hour, " she told him, continuing to smile at him. "I know
a place we could go."
She watched as his features calmed down and he nodded, "Alright well I’ll
stay here and wait till you’re done.”
Penny smiled in reply. "Okay, let me get you something to drink while you
wait.” Walking back to the counter, she
filled a glass with cherry soda, having no clue if he would even like it, but
most of the teenagers who came in did. After setting the drink in front of him
Penny returned to the tables taking care of their needs before returning to Nick
with his food.
She had two more tables over the hour, and was helpful and nice to each
of them, but her mind kept wandering off to the boy who was waiting for her. She
couldn’t help but look over at him, longingly counting the minutes until they
could leave together. He continued to sit there, watching her as she worked,
making her blush under his strong stare.
As the end of her shift came she pulled off her apron and walked over to
his table. She reached for his hand and he gave it to her freely, allowing
himself to be pulled from the booth. Penny guided them out of the stuffy café
and into the gorgeous sunset, and for the first time in a while her mind was
filled with the present.
"Let's go."
*****
"You must be terrified, right?"
They sat at the pier for over an hour. The sunset beautifully over the
Pacific Ocean as the two teenagers watched in awe and talked about everything
and anything that was on their minds.
They talked about his family, about his dreams, and all the things he
gave up once his father died.
" My dad died when I was only ten, at that age I didn’t know what it was
going to mean for the rest of my life. I would watch you all at school, scared
to let myself get to close, and see you with your families."
"Oh, Luca...I don’t know what to say.”
Penny's small hand moved to his shoulder, squeezing it lightly to offer
him any kind of comfort she could. “He would’ve wanted to be there and be
present everyday as you grow up. You were just a kid, Luca. You were asked to
deal with something no one at that age should deal with all by yourself. And
it’s okay you felt that way, that you were terrified, because it means you were
living.”
"She stayed in bed for the first week, and I thought it was just
something she would eventually stopped doing. She never got out, and in the long
run, she needed me way more than I needed her.”
"But how could she do that to you?"
Luca just grinned with only the sadness he felt "She was in love. She was
helplessly, crazily in love with him, and without him, she was incomplete. They
were soul mates. I mean, without their love, I wouldn’t be here…and I was there
for her because of that.”
Hearing Luca talk about his parents, about his father and how much they
loved not only each other, but also him, made Penny think if that was a kind of
completion that you didn't need anything else for.
She turned quiet, a fact he immediately noticed and asked her what she
was thinking. Without much warning, everything she felt came out. She talked
about the amount of pressure that came from her family about the future they
planned for her, how she just wants to get away from it all and start over, it
all came out in waves of emotion that kept escaping from her tongue.
"It's just that, all my life I've been told that I need to live a certain
way, that I'm going to end up a certain way and living their life, and I've
always wanted more than that. I mean, how can somebody decide your whole life
for you?"
He listened to her patiently, never judging, and offering advice and
opinions whenever she asked for them.
"No one, Penny. It's something you'll just feel. You’ll go somewhere on
your own and you’ll know it’s right.”
There, staring at the setting sun and getting the very last feelings of
warmth and lightness from it, her arm touched lightly against the skin of this
stranger, she found simplicity.
As she watched him blissfully, with the sparkle in his eyes as he really
listened to everything she said, she knew the moment was perfect.
And that was why she asked him, because she was scared.
But his answer showed her there
was way more to be scared of than she imagined.
“I’m not scared to die...,” he told her honestly, his eyes ahead and
unable to look at her. “I’m scared not to have moments like these ever again,
I’m scared to miss out on all the things I want to experience in my life, and
I’m scared that I’m never going to be here, just like this, ever again...”
His hand traced over her soft
cheek and tucked a stray hair behind her ear, and smiled at her, as she leaned
into his touch. As she listened to his heart pouring out, she realized they were
scared of the same thing.
"I bet you have a boyfriend..." he dragged softly, finally turning to
look at her. "But I don't care." Penny opened her mouth to tell him she didn't
but he just continued. "I don't have anyone to send a letter to...and I was
wondering if you would mind if I sent one back here to you?"
Penny nodded, a huge smile dancing across her face as she realized the
feelings she felt were mutual, and if he could be the one.
Finally, it was time for him to go to the bus station, and Penny agreed
to walk with him. He climbed to his feet, offering her a hand to get to her own,
but even once she stood his fingers simply tangled with her own, instead of
dropping her small hand as they walked.
Luca ran his thumbs over her wet cheeks, and leaned down to tenderly kiss
her forehead. “Don’t cry, Penny. Please, don’t cry.”
He smiled at her, this time leaning in to drop a kiss on the tip of her
nose. He pulled back, resting their foreheads against each other’s, and closing
his eyes. Penny squeezed her own shut to put more tears."
“I know you’re scared but I’ll promise you this Penny…”
"What?" she sniffled sadly? Tilting her head up and breathing him in as
his cheek brushed across her own. They pulled back, but only slightly, before
Luca's hands came up to the frame of her face. His thumbs brushed across her
cheeks once more, before he leaned in slightly, and she could tell his eyes
searched her own for permission.
She nudged her face towards him slightly giving him a yes, before his
lips met hers.
It was soft, and hesitant, everything a first kiss should be. It was two
parts finding each other, taking the time to explain them, before they met
again, this time slightly more hard, the hesitance replaced with a need to feel
complete.
Everything Penny felt was expressed in this kiss. Every emotion inside of
her; fear, wonder, curiosity, and even love was translated in the kiss.
Unwillingly, they pulled apart, but Luca's forehead stayed pressed
against her own, and his eyes never left hers.
"I'm going to come back to you," he promised honestly, while she nodded
with tears in her eyes.
“And I'll be here waiting for you," she swore passionately." I promise."
They hugged again before they
walked along the streets of Corona.
She smiled up at him, walking along the streets where she had lived her
entire life, and looked at everything in a completely different way.
Dear Penny,
Every day, I'm surrounded by California sunsets and sunrises, but none
are as beautiful as the one I watched with you. I became friends with boys my
own age, but I can’t get too close to them because I know I’ll have to watch
some of them die when we’re in Vietnam. I'm scared to die here, when the promise
of what I could have at home still remains in my hopes and you may not feel the
same, but I know that this might be what I've always wanted. Love. I hope to
hear from you, and know you are always on my mind.
Luca
Penny immediately took out a sheet of paper to write him a reply, completely
unaware to the fact that she was in the middle of her family's busy cafe.
"Penny Lane!" her father boomed loudly from behind her eying the piece of
paper beside her.
Penny jumped grabbing her papers together, along with Luca's letter,
which she carefully placed between two blank sheets before spinning around to
face her father. “Yes, daddy?" She didn't like the way he looked at her, didn't
like the distrust in his eyes.
“What’cha doin’ there, doll?”
"Nothing daddy. I was just writing something," she told him honestly,
leaving out everything of any importance.
"Whose that letter from, Penny Lane?"
Penny swallowed, thinking of Luca and smiling to herself before answering
confidently. "Luca Shock, daddy. He's writing to me while he's away at war."
Something seemed to cross her father's face, and Penny couldn't really
make it out. Something negative seemed to express the emotion on her fathers
face. He opened his mouth to reply to his daughter, but an unsatisfied customer
pleased for his attention. Penny knew she was saved for the time being, but not
knowing how long this discussion will be avoided.
"We'll talk about this later."
Penny nodded, playing the part of the obedient daughter her father had
always know before taking her papers and moving towards the privacy of her room.
When she was sure the coast was clear, she took out Luca’s letter feeling her
heart skip a beat at his words.
She immediately began to write him back, telling him everything she could
about what was going on with her. She told him about her father, about telling
her dad she wrote to him and not even worrying about what he would say or think.
She wrote to Luca of the way she felt, of the way that feeling seemed to fill
her and give her the ability to do anything. She signed the letter and sealed
it, placing it under her pillow until she could take it to the post the
following day.
So she lay on her bed, her mind rewinding to the day she met Luca, at the
pier, and hoping and praying that he was okay.
Dear Penny,
We're in Vietnam now, a place I know I never want to visit again, but I
fear it will haunt me in my dreams forever. I’ve never been to a place that was
completely covered in darkness that shed every bit of light that I’ve been
looking for when I’m with you. War is like nothing I could've ever imagined.
Every night I go to bed and every night the tents get smaller, as the people
decrease, wondering if I’m next.
We’re no longer people. Our lives have been taken away and all we are are
numbers on our dog tags. I'm fighting someone else's war, I could die for
someone else's war...but now, for the first time since I found out I was being
sent here, I know what I'm fighting for. It's you. Whenever it gets rough over
here, I just think of you. I think of that day, and us sitting by the pier and I
can picture your face, picture your pretty smile. Everyday I’m fighting to keep
my promise. And no matter how hard it gets over here, that's always enough to
keep me fighting, to get me through another day.
Luca
Penny read the letter from Luca the second it had come in the post. It
had been weeks since she had heard from him, and though she knew that was to be
expected, since it would take time for her letter to reach him and then his own
response to come back to her, it didn't make it any easier of a wait.
They wrote each other as much as they could in the months he had been
gone.
We're leaving Vietnam now,
his letter had read.
I hope your letter reaches me, but I will send the word that I am safe when I
get there. Don’t worry my love. I know what I have to come back to and nothing
will tear us apart.
Her father finally came to her room the night he found out about Luca's
letter, trying his best to nonchalantly bring it up and figure out her
intensions. He was silent for a long time, just looking at her.
The reaction her dad had shocked her. Instead of painful words, she
loathed hearing, he asked her a simple question. "Does he love you back?"
Confidently she replied. "Yes, he does. And when he comes home from war
I'm going to be with him daddy."
Her father sighed, as he appeared to prepare a long talk for his
daughter. "You've always tried to hide it Penny Lane, but I always knew you’ve
had bigger plans than here," he said finally. "Don’t look so surprised honey.
I’ve been waiting for this day a long time. Doll, I know that you have feelings
for this boy..."
Penny shot him an incredulous look, but he was barely paying attention,
something Penny had gathered without looking at him. But then he proceeded to
drive his point home. "You don't know if he's even coming back."
Penny glared at her father with shock and resentment. “Luca’s coming
back, daddy. He promised me he would.”
“Penny Lane, war...it can change a man. You don't know whom he is going
to be when he comes home. In the time it takes for that to happen, you don't
know who
you
are going to become."
Penny was about to retort, but her father continued. "Dan Conrad’s kid
had expressed interest in you. He's a nice young man, Penny Lane. And someday,
he wants to marry you. Maybe you should think about this. Nick could give you a
promising future.”
"That may be true," she remarked rather coldly refusing to believe her
father was disregarding her feelings and everything she had told him. "But Luca
is the one I am waiting for."
The certainly in her tone was not lost in either of them. With an
unaccomplished look on his face, Penny’s father kissed he head and walked out of
the room.
Penny whirled into her chair, whipping out a sheet of paper and writing
to Luca. Her confessions of love and hope that she had so openly voiced to her
father were transmitted into her heartfelt letter.
***
Two months had past before she received a reply from Luca, but every
heartfelt confession in his letter made it worth the wait.
Penny,
I can’t even begin to explain what your letter meant to me. I’ve read it
so many times I think I can recite it word for word perfectly. When I fight,
when I’m surrounded by the darkness I’ve come to know, your words circle in my
head. I love you, and I plan on keeping my promise to you. I will come home. I
will come back to you.
She found herself mimicking his actions, reading the letter over and over
again, her eyes unable to take in his beautiful words fast enough.
She focused on the joy that came through in the letter, ignoring the
doubt and disappointment in her head as she read the final line.
Don’t worry but I won’t be able to write for a while….
****
She kept her hope alive by writing to him, whenever she could she found
herself locked away in her room, her thoughts focused on a warm day at the pier.
The sounds of conflict rang upon her ears causing Penny to immediately
put down her pen and see what was causing the fight. She slinked out of her
room, and was immediately filled with the frustrated tones of her parents.
“She’s only a child, Jim! She can’t possibly know what she wants!”
Penny watched as her father cupped his face in frustration.
“She’s not a child, Lorraine.”
“As long as she’s living under our roof, she does what we say, end of
discussion.”
“Sweetheart, you know that isn’t going to work. What happens when we tell
her that and she decides to take off? Look, I’ll talk to her, but the truth is
we’re going to have to be willing to accept the fact that Penny is as stubborn
as we both are.”
“You can speak to her all you
want, but the bottom line is we’re her parents and she has to do what we say.”
Refusing to hear anymore, Penny stormed off to her bedroom, making sure
her door slammed loud enough to be heard downstairs.
Tears came stringing down her
face, as she collapsed in frustration about the situation in her bed.
She would be waiting when he came home, and she knew he would come home.
It took Penny longer than she
expected for the soft knocking to come at her door. She knew she had to appease
her parents, it was the only thing she could do for now until Luca came home.
So, when her father settled onto the bed, she told him what she was
thinking.
“I’m going to go to the football game with Nick, daddy.”
Planting a kiss on top of her head, and promising that things would be
okay, Penny’s dad left the room. The second the door closed, Penny’s tears
started.
She closed her eyes, feeling herself slip off to sleep, all her dreams
centered on her traveling soldier.
****
Penny woke up from her nap, her heart racing, covered in sweat. She had
dreamed of Luca; felt him as if he had been right there with her.
But as she dressed for the football game she would be attending with
Nick, her mind could focus on little else.
Nick tied to make conversation, and Penny did her best to seem interested
and responsive, but the task was proving to be impossible.
At the football field, he offered to buy her popcorn or a soda but Penny
politely declined.
“So, Penny, have you come to a lot of football games?” Nick asked, trying
to do anything to get her to open up an even a little.
She shook her head. “I’ve been working at my parent’s restraint every
Friday for as long as I can remember.”
Penny smiled at him, but it faded as they settled into their seats. She
listened vaguely as the Lord’s Prayer was read, barely registering it enough to
say “Amen” at the end of it.
They all stood, right hands over their chest, as the Anthem played. Penny
stared around, watching them stand together in unity to support their country.
“…With Liberty and Justice for all.”
Quiet fell over the stadium, as the announcer’s voice came back on the PA
system instead of a buzzer signaling the start f the game.
“Would you bow your heads for a listed local, Vietnam dead?”
She stared up at the screen, her head lifting as everyone else bowed
their heads in respect. Even before he said it, Penny knew. And with two words.
Something inside of her died.
“Luca Shock….”
He was saying something about his family, about his life in Corona, but
all Penny could hear was the blood pounding in her ears
Sure, he was fighting in Vietnam, but he couldn’t be dead. He said he was coming
back. He had promised it.
He had promised her.
Penny sank to her seat, her grief and agony surrounding her, suffocating
as it swarmed her. She was not prepared for the emotions, could not allow she to
believe them. He wasn’t...he couldn’t be...
She found herself unable to say the words. She didn’t want to. It would
make this too real; it would mean something that Penny did not think she could
really believe. That he truly was...gone. But the question bubbled forth,
spilling from her lips as the desperation tore at her soul.
“Dead?” she whispered, her voice hoarse and unrecognizable. It seemed
appropriate, for her to lose any sense of herself. She did not want to sound
like Penny Foster, could not handle being Penny Foster Parker. Penny Foster was
dead now too...her soul torn apart. Crushing pain filled her heart, and the
feeling threatened to choke her. Is this what happens when your heart breaks,
she wondered, her eyes filling with tears that coursed silently down her ashen
cheeks.
Around her, a buzzer sounded, cheering ensued and the moment of silence
was broken. But not to Penny. To Penny, the entire world was silent, cold and
distant and unrecognizable without the hope and faith that had guided her over
the past months.
Without another thought to the game, to Nick, to the world, Penny dashed
from her seat, sight blinded by the tears in her eyes. She didn’t know where to
go, had no place to run, but it was all she could think to do. She had to get
away from this pain.
A sob tore from her lips and she brought her hand to her mouth, doing her
best to stifle the harsh sounds. She knew people were looking at her, but she
did not want their sympathy. She did not want this to be real.
Shoulders heaving slightly from the force of her stifled cries, tears
still pouring openly down her cheeks, Penny sat beneath the bleachers as the
world went on around her and her entire existence shattered.
They had told her, warned her, and feared that this had happened. But
Penny had refused to believe it. She had never felt more alone, stripped of her
faith and hope, bereft of the only love she would ever know. She did the only
thing she could do.
She simply cried.
He had been unable to keep his promise. But Penny knew with certainty
that she would keep hers for the rest of her life.
"Travelin' Soldier"
Two days past eighteen
He was waiting for the bus in his army green
Sat down in a booth in a cafe there
Gave his order to a girl with a bow in her hair
He's a little shy so she gives him a smile
And he said would you mind sittin' down for a while
And talking to me,
I'm feeling a little low
She said I'm off in an hour and I know where we can go
So they went down and they sat on the pier
He said I bet you got a boyfriend but I don't care
I got no one to send a letter to
Would you mind if I sent one back here to you
Chorus: I cried
Never gonna hold the hand of another guy
Too young for him they told her
Waitin' for the love of a travelin' soldier
Our love will never end
Waitin' for the soldier to come back again
Never more to be alone when the letter said
A soldier's coming home
So the letters came from an army camp
In California ton Vietnam
And he told her of his heart
It might be love and all of the things he was so scared of
He said when it's getting kinda rough over here
I think of that day sittin' down at the pier
And I close my eyes and see your pretty smile
Don't worry but I won't be able to write for awhile
[Chorus]
One Friday night at a football game
The Lord's Prayer said and the Anthem sang
A man said folks would you bow your heads
For a list of local Vietnam dead
Crying all alone under the stands
Was a piccolo player in the marching band
And one name read but nobody really cared
But a pretty little girl with a bow in her hair
[Chorus x2]