Best Friends

            Micah was supposed to call me four minutes ago. Its 8:34 and here I am waiting for the sound of a phone ringing. Why hasn’t she called me? I feel like an ass the way I keep checking my phone only to see the predictable and disappointing “no missed calls”. What is she doing that is more important than me?

            As I glance down to check my phone once again I see it’s 8:37. 7 minutes late!! I try calling her yet my call goes unanswered. Is she ignoring me? I block my number and call again, two times, still no answer. I pace my room in hope to pass time.

            Finally it rings. I answer on the first ring, trying my best not to sound flustered. It is 8:41.

            “Hey…” she says so casually.

            “Hi.”

“What’s up?” like nothing’s wrong.

            “Oh, nothing,” I want her to realize I’m mad, I want her to apologize for the pain she’s put me through! “I’ve just been looking for new apartments online, what have you been doing?”

            “I just got home, I saw you called, sorry, I was in the car with Justin”.

            “Oh. It’s fine”. Why couldn’t she answer the phone in the car? So what if she was with Justin. I would answer the phone if I was in the car with my boyfriend. Even over the phone she sounded beautiful. I wondered what she was wearing, and how she had styled her hair. She probably had big earrings in and a messy hair. She took inspiration from Edie Sedgwick.

“Are you still with him?”

“No, I just dropped him off.”

“So do you still want to hang out?”

Do I want to hang out? What kind of question is that. Does she not want to hang out with me? “Sure.”

“Okay, when do you wanna meet up?”

“Well, I need to take a shower, but I can do something after that”.

“K, just call me”

“Okay, bye.”

This gives me time to get ready. I should change my outfit to something cuter. She is probably something chic and trendy. Before I can change my shirt, the phone rings again, it’s Micah. 

“Hi.”

“Hey…”

“So, Justin just called me, and really needs me to go over there because he’s having trouble taking care of his little sister again.”

I give a cold and simple, “K.”

“So can we hang out later or maybe tomorrow?”

“Sure.” And with that I hang up the phone. This has happened to me too many times before. I have seen myself in this situation far more than once. She just doesn’t get it. I need to show her how serious a thing like this is, how hurtful she can be. 

I leave my house in a fury. Mostly mad at Micah but also myself for falling for this one again, it’s embarrassing. I don’t tell my roommates where I’m going, just leave the house acting like I have a set destination. As I sit in the drivers seat of my car, I lean over and open the glove compartment to check for money. Inside is a picture of Micah and just the sight of it makes me nauseous. Yet at the same time it makes me sympathetic, and softens me. Those beautiful glossy brown eyes and look like those of a doe. She is wearing all black and resting comfortably in her left hand is a cigarette between her index and middle fingers. I feel as if I can smell her cigarette smoke and perfume generating from the picture. It’s a picture I took while she wasn’t looking and that’s probably why I adorn it so. It’s an old picture which is evident from the white edges eroding away. I’ve kept it with my in a place I knew Micah would never look, since I took it. I want to tear the picture into pieces, to shred it with my fingers. Suddenly a great idea pops into my head, I know where I’m going, I know what I’m going to do. I take off in a hurry, revving the engine which is still freezing from the night frost. I leave skid marks in our driveway. I fly down Alameda Ave almost driving up onto the curb. I’m off, and no one can stop me. As I make my way to Pine St., I can almost close my eyes and drive from memory. I’m about 10 minutes away from her house, and the thought of turning around is hitting me hard.

As I approach her neighborhood I reach into my purse and grab for my cell phone. I hit and hold down the 2, speed dial. My voicemail is number 1.

“Hi. I’m about to be outside of your house. Come outside.”

“Okay…is everything okay?”

“Yeah. Come outside”. And I hang up. I toss the phone to the passenger side, hoping it will land on the seat. Of course, with my luck, it falls to the ground. I don’t care though, there are more pressing matters. I reach her house, and she is still not outside. This is ridiculous. In the time I’ve given her, I’ve driven half a block, and she still hasn’t come outside.

I park my car crookedly, diagonal to the curb, underneath her big Sycamore tree. I step out of my car and slam the door behind me, just in time for Micah to walk out of her front door. Sometimes my timing is so impeccable.

As I walk towards her, I consider turning around, I could make up an excuse and go home. But it is to late now, she is walking towards me, in her white Saks blouse and blue jeans, with questioning eyes searching for an answer.

Her hair looks messy and wild, nonetheless she still looks beautiful and elegant.

“I have some things to say,” is how I start off.

“What, Sylvia?”

“Excuse me! What are you giving me attitude for?”

“Because I am trying to spend time with my boyfriend and let’s be honest, this isn’t the first time you’ve done stuff like this. It’s just like, what is the point Sylvia? What? I’m sorry that I think it’s rude to intrude on two people when they are trying to talk.”

            “Intrude?!” WE had plans!” With this, I lost my composure. “You choose Justin over me all the time! It’s like you put me on the back-burner, and when he’s busy, you turn to me.”

“What are you talking about? When have I ever done that?”

“And it’s not even like Justin really likes you all that much, I mean, I see the way he looks at other girls.” Shit. It slipped out. It’s not even true, Justin is a pretty good boyfriend and what not, just not for Micah. Micah needs someone great.

“Sylvia, I really don’t see what the big deal is. I’m sorry for not pulling through with our plans today, but I thought I explained to you that Justin really needed some help.”

“You just don’t get it, do you?” Justin probably didn’t even need help.  That was probably just some excuse not to hang out with me.

“Well I guess not Sylvia, I’m trying too, but I just don’t see why it’s such a big deal. Can’t we hang out tomorrow?”

But it’s not about hanging out, it’s about the fact that she chooses him over me. She doesn’t pay enough attention to me. I need to just tell her how I feel, but I don’t want to scare her away.

“You know Sylvia, it’s not all about you.” I can’t keep it in anymore. Does she not see how good I am to her?

“You and your little Edie Sedgwick obsession, just so you know, you don’t look anything like her. And yeah, I know it’s not about me, it’s never about me, it’s always about you and you Justin. That’s all I hear about, it’s all you care about. I’ve been your friend for over 4 years now, and the minute you find a boy it’s like I don’t’ exist anymore.”

“Sylv- what are you talking about? We hang out all—“

“You just don’t get it!”

“Well I’m trying to if you’d—“

“I don’t think we can be friends anymore, Micah.” I don’t mean it. I said it but I don’t mean it. I want her to reach to me, to argue what I’m saying, but the words just keep coming out. “I’m sorry, but I just can’t do it.”

I see her face drop, like she has no muscles left to hold her expression up.

I turn, giving her a nod of acknowledgement that I am leaving. I get in my car and frantically look for my keys. I can see Micah walking away in my rear-view mirror, throwing her arms up in confusion.

I can feel my eyes starting to tear; I grab for my keys from the bottom of my purse and start my car. As I watch her walk away, she stops at her front door and seems to falter there. I push the gas petal in hopes to leave as soon as possible. I see Micah walking into the middle of the street, but it’s too late. I can’t talk to her or see her like this. As I drive away, I wipe my tears for I know she feels the same about me.