Zahra Axinn

5^th Period
Wilson-Scott

Due: 1/18/08

Foreign Confidence

            Diana stood in a short line, shifting her weight from foot to foot. She looked over at the longer line. Even when they were waiting for their passports to be checked, the Europeans seemed more at ease. She was almost jealous of their queue, where they all talked amiably and held their maroon booklets. Her blue one seemed like some sort of interruption, and she held it with two hands as if to cover it up. The other people in her line were not social at all and were avoiding each other’s gaze. Diana was a little bit disoriented because she was used to having her passport checked later, after the journey. She was more used to the way they did things in airports as opposed to train stations. She rolled her small suitcase up behind her, and presented her ticket and passport to the woman who was checking them.

            “What is your final destination?” the woman inquired, as she checked the picture. She looked at Diana and adjusted her glasses.

            “Um, well, I’m going to Paris for the weekend but then I’m coming back to London for the rest of my winter break. I’m here from the U.S.” Diana spoke quickly and was slightly embarrassed by the length of her description. “I’m not sure which—”

            “Paris,” the woman cut her off and handed her back the ticket and passport.

Diana walked past the woman and towards security. As she approached the conveyor belt, she lifted her bag awkwardly and put it on the belt. She had forgotten to lower the handle and winced as the bag moved clumsily through the X-ray machine. Diana grabbed her bag at the end and just managed to drop it awkwardly.

She looked at the time on her cell phone and, seeing that she had twenty minutes left before the train boarded, she went over to a café in the terminal and went ordered a drink. After paying with a heavy one pound coin and several pence, she took her black coffee over to a table, still wheeling her bag behind her. Diana lifted the cup to her lips and sipped. Unfortunately she sipped too soon and burned her tongue.

Everything seemed to be going miserably. Ever since she had left the States she had not felt very good. It was as if going away had been some sort of weird catalyst. She had been continually self-conscious since she had arrived. One week had passed already since she had gotten off the airplane, and she was seriously considering that she was a social outcast. Everything she was insecure about at home seemed to be magnified now that she was out of her element. It wasn’t as if she totally fit in at home, but at least she knew her way around.

As she commiserated, she ignored the announcements on the speakers, until suddenly, “LAST CALL FOR BOARDING.” Diana jumped up, nearly spilling the coffee. She dashed out of the café and over towards the escalator that led to the terminal. She took the escalator stairs two and at time, tripping over the end of it. Winded, she ran towards the door to the train and handed her ticket to the man who was waiting before the door.

“Your ticket is fine, but you’re cutting it close don’t you think?” the man said. Diana caught that he was jesting, but didn’t have time to reply. She pulled her luggage up behind her as she climbed the little metal stairs to the train car. Somehow, the train car was empty. She sighed with relief, put her suitcase up on an overhead rack and sunk into a seat.

As the train exited the station, she noticed her surroundings. It was not exactly a dated train car, but she could tell the seats had been used. There was still no one else sitting in any of the other seats and Diana was glad. Once she was comfortable, Diana continued to daydream. She leaned her head against her hand, propping her elbow against the armrest next to the window, a couple of jet-black curls falling across her face.

As she looked out of the window, the bleak gray city sky loomed moodily outside. Although she was on her way somewhere else, Diana didn’t feel like she had anything to look forward to. Why should Paris leave her feeling any more comfortable than London had? She sighed and let her eyes glaze over, not really noticing the buildings that sped past.

A cool trickle of sadness ran through Diana. It was as if she had been in that empty compartment for her whole life, instead of just those few minutes. She shrugged into her seat, and pulled her iPod out of her pocket. Just as she hadn’t taken in the scenery, once music flowed into her ears, Diana let the noise rush over her without really listening to it. Soon she closed her eyes and fell into a light sleep.

***

When she awoke, Diana was startled to see someone else across from her on the train car and almost jumped up in her seat. There was a young man facing the windows on the other side of the train. Just then, he turned to look at her with inquisitive eyes. She pulled out her earbuds slowly.

“Hello,” Diana said. She was almost as shocked to hear herself speak as she had been when she first noticed him.

“How do you do?” The young man, whose nationality Diana couldn’t quite place given this slightly archaic greeting, cleared his throat before continuing. “I’m Christophe,” he explained. Diana drew from his name that he might be French.

“Oh,” she replied after a slight pause. “My name’s Diana.”

“I see. You are American, non? What brings you to journey on the Eurostar?” Christophe’s expression was somewhere between imploring and curious, as if he was really concerned with what she was doing there.

Diana looked down at her iPod, flipping it over in her hand for a second.

“I’m here on vacation. I mean, sort of. It wasn’t really my choice. I have family in London and they invited, well, they kind of forced me to come. I’m on my way to Paris for a little change of scenery and a break from them, I guess.”

Diana wasn’t really sure why she hadn’t stopped at the bit about being there on vacation. There wasn’t any reason why she should tell this guy anything about herself, it wasn’t as if he cared or even knew her. When she looked up at him she saw him smile encouragingly.

“See, my grandparents moved here a couple of years ago and every Christmas they try to blackmail as many relatives to come over as possible. Okay, blackmail is a little bit of an exaggeration, but…”

“No, no, I understand completely. My family is quite similar, always trying to encourage visits.” Christophe was sitting up more now, and leaning just a little bit towards her. “This is not a uniquely American phenomenon,” he said, laughing towards the end.

“Are you a university student? What do you study?” he continued with his mouth now serious but eyes still smiling. “I personally am fascinated by anthropology,” he pronounced the word with a French accent. “All the different cultures and people, there is an endless amount of things to study.”

“I’m… undecided,” Diana concluded sadly, as if she had disappointed him with her plain answer and lack of passion.

“Undecided.” Christophe made a face like he was tasting something new. “I don’t understand. We don’t have that subject in France.”

“No, it’s not a subject. It means that I don’t know what I want to major in.”

They were silent for a while, as if this misunderstanding somehow complicated the conversation. The low buzzing rumble of the train carried on, and little sprinkles of rain fell against the side of the windows.

Christophe pulled a worn shoulder bag out from under his seat. He placed it on his lap and pulled out a small paperback from inside. He opened it up, and Diana caught a glimpse of the title. It was The Catcher in the Rye. Diana thought it was kind of appropriate, seeing as Christophe was into examining cultures. She smiled to herself.

“Which part are you on?” Diana tilted her head to the side, as if to see the page number.

“It’s the part when Holden sees the rude writing on the wall at his sister’s school,” Christophe replied as he lowered the book slightly. “I find the culture of America fascinating. It is very well described in this book.”

“Of course, you have to know that we aren’t all rebellious teenage boys from the nineteen-fifties,” she explained with a grin. “I do find that character particularly vivid though.”
            They continued to talk, and found that they had many favorite authors in common. During their conversation, the train entered the Chunnel and darkness surrounded them. Later on, Christophe tried to describe France and Paris to Diana, seeing as it would be her first visit. He began to describe a café he was particularly fond of.

“They have the very best coffee and croissants there. You have to try it,” he enthused.
            “Well, why don’t you tell me where it is? I’ll go there.” Diana was feeling a little more excited about the trip seeing as she had somewhere to go other than her hotel.

“You must call one of your friends once you arrive, they may know it.”

“Oh, I’m not visiting anyone. This is just a trip I’m taking by myself,” she admitted.

“Non, non, non. You must visit Paris with a native. That is the only way to really see it. I will show you,” he insisted.

Diana hesitated for a moment. Her common sense told her that venturing out into a foreign city with a stranger was a risky step to take. Something about striking up a conversation with Christophe had pushed her to feel stronger. Diana would have never imagined that she would be able to strike up such a dialogue with a random person in a foreign country. She felt a sense of self that she had been missing for a long time, some sort of confidence that had been hidden. As she thought of this, she also decided to make a compromise. Diana looked over at Christophe and smiled slowly.

“How about this, I will talk to you after I get settled into my hotel. I’ll give you the name of the hotel I’m staying at. We can talk some more and decide when we should meet later on.” Diana figured that the worst that could happen was that she would have to avoid her hotel phone. That wouldn’t be a problem because everyone else would call her on her cell anyhow.

            “Okay, I see that you might want to find your hotel first,” Christophe nodded in agreement.

            Diana was relieved and asked him to tell her more about Paris. While Christophe talked animatedly, Diana took a deep breath and felt herself relax. Just in that moment, sunlight began to stream into the train car. Somehow, she felt that she was ready to set foot in yet another strange place.