The Birthday

       Lisa had just taken the pan off the stove as Joe walked in.

“Hey, Sweetheart,” he said, handing her flowers. It was Wednesday, and Joe always bought Lisa flowers on Wednesday.

Lisa delicately took the bouquet of pink tulips, got the stepladder from next to the refrigerator, and began to look through the cabinets for the perfect vase. She took down a light yellow one and slowly filled it with water. Joe sat, dazed, watching her Wednesday night routine from their kitchen nook.

“How was work, honey?” Lisa asked with her back turned towards Joe.

“Every day is exactly the same. I feel like I’m wasting my life away at work. I miss being outside, playing make believe, running around.”

“I’m sorry, Joe.” And she really was. “But we just need some income. If we ever have a kid…” She whispered the last part, already regretting she had brought it up.

“Now you’re guilt tripping me? Great, Lisa, really great, just what I need, my wife kicking me while I’m down,” Joe screamed as he ran out of the kitchen. Lisa and Joe wanted a baby, but were having trouble. Joe really took it to heart and was convinced it was his fault they couldn’t get a baby.

“I made your favorite dinner; potatoes and noodles!” Lisa screamed after him, not knowing exactly what to do.

Joe came out of the game room a couple hours later. Sometimes he just needed to do something with his hands to calm down. He could stack blocks for hours. He had a favorite set, which was given to him when he was born.

“I’m sorry, Joe. I didn’t mean to upset you so much,” Lisa murmured soothingly.

“It’s fine.”

“On a different note, your birthday is coming up. Do have anything special you want to do?” Lisa cooed.

“I don’t even want to celebrate. I’m getting too old. It’s depressing really. I hate my job and I still don’t have anyone to carry on the family name. A little boy would just make me so happy,” said Joe sadly.

“You have to celebrate your birthday!” Lisa loved parties. “It’s a big one. You’d regret it if you didn’t.”

“Ya, a big one. A big, old, ugly one,” Joe whined.

“We could invite the Smiths, and the Garrets. It would be just a small dinner celebration. I would cook all your favorite foods and there would be absolutely no vegetables. Oh! And I could make you a cake, a fabulous cake. You know how good my cakes are. Maybe the cake will be angel food, with whipped cream frosting and strawberries on top. And I would take a picture of you blowing out your five red candles on top of my pretty white cake…” Lisa had an active imagination, and sometimes got a little carried away.

“Sounds great honey,” Joe said half-heartedly. “Oh and don’t forget, we have a Doctors appointment tomorrow. He’s going to try and figure out why we’re having so much trouble with the baby situation.”

“I bet its nothing, Joe. We both probably just need to take some extra vitamins.”

They went to the Doctor and sadly that’s not what he told them.

“He was so rude; he just laughed at our questions,” Lisa fumed.

“I agree. He was just so condescending, he treated us like children.”

“I guess it was halfway worth going,” Lisa thought out loud. “He told us we were both healthy and he didn’t see why we wouldn’t be able to get a baby. But then again after he said that he sort of chuckled to himself and asked us about our parents.”

“I just don’t understand what we are doing wrong. We got married. We live together. You cook diner and clean the house. I go to work. We deserve a child.” Joe looked like he was on the verge of a tantrum.

“Calm down Joe,” Lisa sniffled

Joe and Lisa walked slowly from the kitchen to their rooms. Usually they hated bed time, but tonight they were both too tired and sad to put up much of a fight. The next morning, Joe woke up and went to work. Lisa stayed home and cleaned. Like always Joe came home late in the afternoon.  

“Hey, Sweetheart,” Joe said, giving Lisa a kiss on the cheek.

Lisa was busy cooking what looked to be mac-n-cheese.

“How was work, Honey?” Lisa said into the pot of water.

“Did you draw today?” Joe asked motioning towards the refrigerator, and trying to avoid the unpleasant conversation that was sure to follow Lisa’s question.

“Yes, I felt very artistic. It got sort of messy; I started out with crayons and then moved to water colors and had a little accident,” Lisa informed Joe.

“Oh well, it happens. Anything else exciting go on today?” Joe wondered.

“Actually, The Garrets and The Smiths both called today confirming that they can do dinner for your birthday tomorrow.”

“Lisa, are you sure I have to have a birthday? I don’t wanna,” Joe always got a little whiney after work; it was because he was so tired. Lisa often thought to herself that there should be a mid-day nap at Joe’s work.

“Joe, we already talked about this. It will be fun. You love The Garrets and The Smiths. We’ve known them practically our whole lives. It’ll be a great way to spend our Saturday. I was even thinking we could do a sort of tea party,” Lisa planned as she talked.

“A tea party? That’s so girly, Lisa. Couldn’t we just do something outside? Like a barbeque with hide-and-seek?”

“I already checked the weather, Sweetheart,” Lisa said between her teeth stubbornly. “It’s supposed to rain.”

The next morning Lisa got up early to set up and cook.

“Good morning, Joe!” Lisa said cheerfully. Lisa was definitely a morning person. Usually she got up at seven, but since today was such an exciting day she got up especially early at six.

“Morning,” Joe said sleepily. “Where’s the hot chocolate?” Neither Joe nor Lisa drank coffee. Both thought it was ‘gross’. Instead they had at least one cup of hot chocolate every morning.

“It’s in the microwave. I just heated it up,” Lisa informed Joe.

Lisa used the microwave for everything. To make dinner, heat up drinks, and she even tried to make a cake in there one time. Of course, Lisa and Joe owned a stove and Lisa would often set a pot of water (the water she had just heated in the microwave) on the stove, but rarely would she turn it on. Truthfully she was a little scared of the fire that the stove produced. This morning Lisa was mentally preparing herself for the oven. She had to make a cake (the one time she tried to bake the cake in the microwave, it turned out very bad.)

“Thanks. So what time is everyone getting here?” Joe tried to feign interest in his birthday party.

“Oh they’ll probably show up when I’m done with everything. I still need to make the tea, set out the cookies, and of course bake the cake.”

As Lisa predicted, a couple hours later, no more than ten minutes after she finished all of her chores, Joe heard the doorbell ring. Joe slowly got up from where he was sitting cross-legged in the game room, and carefully walked around his blocks. He was making a block town, and couldn’t wait to finish so he could be Godzilla and knock everything down. Joe walked into the dining area. All the guests were already seated and smiling at him as he arrived.

“Hey, everyone,” Joe said politely.

The guests remained silent, and greeted Joe with a continued smile. Ann and Andy Garret were thin, raggedy people, pale-skinned with thick, orange hair. Both sets of shiny black eyes continued to stare at Joe from freckled, pale faces. They were seated across from the Smiths. Mr. Smith was sort of tubby with dark brown hair everywhere. He had a protruding mouth and a nose that most would describe as a snout, with cute little ears almost at the top of his head. He was an excellent hugger, and Joe often got jealous when Lisa greeted Mr. Smith. Neither Lisa nor Joe understood how Mr. Smith got Mrs. Smith. Mrs. Smith had beautiful porcelain skin and long brown hair. She had perfectly proportional features (except her larger than life blue eyes), and was an unblinking woman who could stare down anyone who approached her.

Lisa walked out carrying two platters full of little sandwiches and cookies. Joe snatched a handful of sandwiches and a handful of cookies and began eating. Lisa began serving the guests.

“And two cookies for you, Mrs. Garret? Only one for you, Mr. Smith? Don’t tell me you’re watching your weight, not today on Joe’s birthday?”  Lisa said to her guests, all who stared up at her with pleasant smiles as their response.

Just then Joe screamed, “Lisa did you put cucumbers in these sandwiches? You promised NO vegetables!!!”

By this time Joe had spit out his sandwich and was pretending to puke, to the point that he was actually gagging.

“Sorry, Joe!” Lisa swooned. “Let me just go and get some without the cucumbers.”

None of the guests knew what to do, but instead stayed silent with awkward, forced smiles on their faces. A little while later, after Joe had recovered, Lisa decided it was time for cake. She went into the kitchen and came out carrying a huge whipped-cream- covered cake with red candles on top.

After setting the cake on the table, she said to Joe and their guests, “Everybody knows what time it is… happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Jooooe, HAAAPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!!!”

“Thanks, Sweetheart. I’m glad you convinced me to have this party,” Joe said sincerely, as he blew out the candles.

“Don’t think you’re getting off the hook that easy, Joe,” Lisa screamed with delight. “Are you ONE, are you TWO, are you THREE, are you FOUR, are you FIVE…”

“STOP!” Joe yelled in spite of himself. “I may be getting old, but we sure know how to have a good time,” he said as he stuffed his second piece of cake into his mouth, his face covered in white whipped cream.

The End.

** ** ** ** **

Once upon a time there was a girl who was lazy and thought grammar was stupid, (comma splice) her teacher disagreed. She would bring her stories in and all over the paper(missing comma) in purple(missing comma) red, and even green pens would be marks she didn’t know what to do with, (comma splice) maybe her teacher had some pent up artistic talent that came out through her pen choice and little corrective designs(forgotten period) (Insert as new paragraph)Apparently her teacher loved those colored pens (missing comma) because as she looked around at her classmates papers she noticed the same artistic flare(forgotten period)

“Hey (no direct address comma) Joe, you got purple (forgotten question mark) I got red. (Misplaced period)” S(undeserved capitalization)he said in regards to her friends paper (comma splice) unhappy with her color.

“Yah, jealous?” he replied.

“Well (missing comma) a little (missing comma) but did you get any smiley faces?!?” S(undeserved capitalization)he yelled.