Train to Nowhere 
 

      He turned around and found himself face to face with the door standing strongly in front of him. He stared deeply into the rich green paint and felt a sort of suspension around him. He didn’t know where he was going, but he knew he was going. His hand crushed any doubts in his mind as he grabbed the shinny gold doorknob. The door was surprisingly light and moved easily on its hinges. He was gone.

      It was a beautiful day. The sky was a crisp sapphire blue with only a simple brush stroke cloud every so often. The sun was shinning brightly but its rays still fell gently upon the faces of the many city-dwellers on the streets below. As Derek stepped outside of his apartment building, he was welcomed by a cool refreshing breeze. His nostrils flared as he took in a long whiff of the fresh air. The calm city sounds on Maple Way were suddenly interrupted by a loud sneeze. Derek wiped his nose on the sleeve of his brown cotton sweater and stepped down the same three stairs that he stepped down every single morning. He glanced briefly at the ginkgo tree to the left of the stairs then turned to the right and began his usual route to work. The little neighborhood coffee shop that he stopped at every morning was approaching quickly on the opposite side of the street. The thought of a black coffee and a toasted bagel with cream cheese made his stomach churn as he briskly walked past the crosswalk he usually used. He continued his walk down Maple. He saw the same cop car parked on the corner of maple and 22nd, checking peoples' speeds as they exited the large intersection. Every morning Derek waited on the corner for at least two light cycles because that was usually enough time to see someone get pulled over. He could have sworn that he saw the same woman get pulled over three times in one week. The light turned green and he crossed the street and began walking up 22nd toward the flower shop owned by Mrs. Elliot. He saw her wave to him out of the corner of his eye, but his hand remained in his pocket as he walked past. He just arrived downtown when he heard a familiar voice behind him.

      “Derek! Hey! Wait up!”

      Derek casually glanced behind him and saw his co-worker, Peter, standing outside Mira’s Deli.

      “Come get a sandwich with me for lunch, man! I was thinking we could go over our presentation during break so it’s all fresh in our minds for the meeting today!”

      Derek turned away and continued walking deeper into the heart of the city. He heard a distant voice as he walked away.

      “Um… Ok, man! I’ll see you later then!”

      Derek walked a little longer before stopping in front of a large building. Eighteen stories of hard glass loomed over him. He looked up at the smooth windowpanes and could only think of them as millions of tiny razor-sharp shards waiting to fly out at him. He watched as strangers and co-workers walked in and out of the two large doors that led into the spacious yet suffocating lobby. Derek stared hard at the building, so hard he thought he might break one of the smooth glass panes. After a few seconds dragged by, he turned his back to the building. He could feel the glass shattering as he walked away, but he was not scared of the razor-sharp shards. He was gone.

      The downtown train station was promising to Derek. The stairs leading down to the ticket office seemed to support his weight easily, adding a bounce to each step he took. He bought a ticket and settled comfortably in one of the cold plastic seats near the boarding platform. There was a man with a briefcase at his feet wearing an expensive-looking navy suit sitting near Derek. The man was yelling instructions into his brand new cell phone while rapidly waving his free hand around in the air as if the person on the other end of the call could see him. Derek smiled silently to himself at the thought of going over to this man and reminding him that even though his cell phone may have all the latest technologies, the person he was yelling at still could not see his flailing hand. Derek instinctively slipped his hand into his left pants pocket. His smile broadened as his fingers wrapped around nothing but a little pocket lint. He imagined his cell phone ringing in his empty apartment and he almost laughed out loud. A girl and a boy who looked about twelve years old sat down across from Derek. The girl was wearing sophisticated glasses that fit together nicely with her maroon blazer and plaid skirt while the boy's messy red hair and freckles clashed with his blazer and slacks. Derek thought back to when he was that age. He too attended a fancy private school where the students were taught how to achieve success and prestige by wearing bow ties and dress socks. He always worked hard to get A’s in all of his classes and he truly believed that his whole life would be set after he graduated first in his class. He could sense that very same determination in the eyes of these two students waiting to catch their train to Maroon Academy. He wanted to tell them that it was all a sham. He wanted to tell them to go on a bike ride instead of writing a fourteen-page paper for their English class, or maybe see a movie instead of spending three hours on one math assignment. The girl looked up at Derek and smiled. He simply smiled back.

      A warm breeze blew through the train station. Derek heard a distant rumble then noticed the businessman and the two kids begin to gather their things. Then he saw it. Time seemed to slow almost to a stop along with the great silver train that just arrived. He couldn’t tare his eyes away from it. As he stared, he saw endless possibilities. He saw himself in a thousand different places all at once and almost forgot where he really was. After realizing he was the only person in the station still sitting, Derek rose from his warm plastic chair and joined the dance of the people around him. His excitement grew as he shuffled along with the crowd towards the train.

      The woman in front of Derek held the silver railing alongside the step leading up to the fifth car of the train with one hand and a heavy suitcase in the other. He heard her inhale as she lifted herself and her bag into the car and exhale as she released her hand and disappeared to find a seat. Derek felt his right hand tighten around the cool railing and his left hand tighten around his endless dreams as he hoisted himself into the car. Suddenly he found himself immersed in a sea of black and gray speckled carpet. His feet moved slowly along the traveler's path in between the blue and gray speckled seats. He glanced down the isle ahead of him and located an empty seat towards the back of the car. His body moved smoothly down the isle and slid easily into the cushioned chair that had been waiting for him. The black screen shade was pulled halfway down the window beside him. Derek gave the shade a soft tug and watched it wind up like lightning, allowing the warm sunlight from outside to wash over his face.

      The buildings outside the window blurred briefly as Derek’s eyelids drooped, reminding him that he hadn’t gotten his regular morning dose of caffeine. He pushed himself back onto his feet and looked up and down the car, trying to find a hint as to which way he should walk to get to the dining car. His question was answered by a small map of the train posted on the wall next to the thin door leading to the sixth car. He slid open the thin yet heavy door and passed into the sixth car. He could feel twenty-three sets of eyes taking turns peaking up at him as he made his way down the isle but he kept his own eyes fixed on the next door at the end of the car. A faint scent of pasta with marinara sauce and coffee thickened to a strong aroma as Derek slid the door to the dining car open and stepped through. All of the small rectangular tables with linoleum tops made to look like wood were occupied by families eating lunch or old couples sipping coffee or students with books and papers spread out on their table so that none of the faux-wood was left visible at all. Derek turned back towards the door he came through and placed his hand on the handle but his exit was interrupted by a woman’s voice.

      “Excuse me!” She sounded as if she raised her voice quite often.

      Derek turned back to face this voice. A middle-aged woman with dyed blonde hair and light brown roots wearing a red visor and a matching red sweatshirt reading “Trenton Elementary School Mom” was standing next to a table with three half-eaten kid’s meals and three small children with matching red pasta sauce around their mouths.

      “We were just about to be leaving if you were looking for a table.”

      Derek nodded and smiled a thank you to the woman as she wiped the mouths of her three messy children and directed them out of the dining car. He sat down at the table and ordered a coffee from the waitress who came to clean up the half-eaten kid’s meals. A whistle sounded somewhere outside and Derek realized the train was moving. He watched out the window, as the city started moving by. He saw the downtown grocery store that he visited twice a week, the vet he had taken his mother’s cat to before it died, the animal shelter where he adopted a puppy with his ex-girlfriend that she took with her when she left him, the gym that he attempted to visit three times a week, the sushi bar that he reluctantly went to with some of his co-workers to celebrate Peter’s big promotion, the hospital he spent many nights in when his mother was sick, the new library he never got around to visiting, the apartment complex where his brother lived, the park that he never had a chance to walk his dog in, the shady used car dealer ship at the edge of the city, then country. Wide-open farmland whipped by with only a lone house or barn every so often.

      “Here’s your coffee sir.” The waitress skillfully lowered a large mug of steaming coffee down onto the table without spilling a drop.

      Derek smiled at the waitress then turned to look out the window again. Seven sips, two barns, and four houses later, he was once again interrupted by a woman’s voice.

      “Excuse me.” This voice was much softer and much gentler than the Trenton Elementary School Mom’s voice.

      Derek looked up and was slightly startled by the beautiful woman standing beside his table.

      “Are these seats taken?” Her words floated in the air like a kite flying on a warm summer breeze.

      Derek couldn’t bring himself to speak so he simply shook his head and made an awkward motion with his hands that was supposed to imply that she should sit. To his great relief she smiled, put something down on the table, and sat in the isle-side seat on the opposite side of the table. Derek looked down at the table and watched the woman's hands open an old thick hardback book with a deep green cover. Her long delicate fingers swept lightly across the pages then rested gracefully when she found her place. She lifted her left hand up towards her face and tucked her wavy brown hair behind her ear. Her ear was small. The top curved down slightly and he could see that she had two piercings though she wasn't wearing any earrings. Her jawbone was very defined and led smoothly down to her round chin. Her skin was fair and her plump lips were a simple dusty rose color throughout every curve and crease. Her nose was small and straight and led perfectly to her soft brown eyebrows. Her long eyelashes kept her eyes a secret, only revealing tiny clues when she blinked. Derek gathered images of her eyes with each flicker. There was a deep blue ring along the outside that faded to a lighter blue that faded to a green that flowed from a cool turquoise to a warm yellow-green right around the pupil.

      Derek saw them having a life together. They would begin talking over coffee and they would soon discover how much they had in common including how neither of them knew where they were going. They would quickly decide that wherever they went, they would go together. They would take the train across the country, making as many stops on the way as they could, just to experience as much as they could. Then they would fly out of the country. They would go to Spain then France then they would travel through Switzerland to get to Italy then they would spend a summer in Greece. After that they would live in India for a few years where they would spend their days basking in the hot sun and they would spend their nights taking turns reading chapters to each other from her deep green book. Their first child would be born there. It would be a beautiful little girl and she would have her mother’s beautiful eyes.

      The train rattled and Derek was jolted out of his fantasy. He looked down the isle of the dining car and saw a man walk in with a little girl. Derek recognized the man as the businessman who was yelling on his cell phone at the train station. He found himself reconsidering his first impression of this man, seeing him holding hands with this tiny girl showed a completely different side of him. The little girl was wearing a bright pink flowered dress and she wore her blonde hair in two short braids. Her eyes were wide as she looked around the car. Derek felt puzzled when he thought something about this girl was familiar to him. He looked closer at her eyes. They had a deep blue ring along the outside that faded to a lighter blue that faded to a green that flowed from a cool turquoise to a warm yellow-green right around the pupil.

      “Mommy!” The little girl let go of her father’s hand and began running down the isle.

      The woman turned around just in time to catch the little girl, swing her up into her arms, and give her a kiss on the forehead. “Hey baby,” she whispered lovingly. The woman was about to introduce her daughter to the man sitting across the table, but when she raised her beautiful eyes, he was gone.