A Little Heart’s Immense Fate
By Lakshmi Vemireddy
It was a bad fortune, which happened to me in my life and it still had
affected me until a certain point. It did not stop with me; it also effected my
sister too. It only affected me and my sister in our family, because none of
my other family members had this kind of effect. It was the first time I felt so depressed about my birthday, which made me feel like an outcast, but only on that particular day. It was the day of my birthday; I turned 11 years old when I was in 5th grade. It was also my first year studying in Indian boarding school. All my friends celebrated their birthdays very grandly by blowing candles, cutting cakes.
“But I don’t.”
I never had the opportunity to celebrate. I don’t want my birthday to
come, if my birthday is coming up, I feel like hiding, and I wish it never to
come again. I also hope that no one will have a horrible birthday like I
do. For my friends birthday I feel very happy and feel like enjoying, but
when it comes to my birthday I feel like escaping from this world.
I don’t throw parties, or celebrate by cutting cake for my birthday. I
use to share cake, which was not cut by me and chocolates to my friends and teachers in school. My parents will invite our relatives to have dinner on
my birthday. My friends always asked me that,
“Why do always distribute cake, when it is not cut by you.”
Then they asked me, “What’s the point of celebrating your birthday, when you don’t cut cake or blow the candles with a wishing?”
That day I got so frustrated and disappointed that I yelled at them,
“Stop it.” “I wish I could be like you guys too, but it’s my fate and I can’t escape it.”
That day I cried a lot and was angry for the whole day. I ran home crying all the way. While I was running I thought,
“Why does this thing happen for me?”
“Nobody cared about my birthday.”
When I got home I saw my parents watching TV immediately asked them,
“Why don’t I celebrate my birthday like all my friends do?”
“They always talk about my birthday.”
“I don’t want to stay with them anymore.”
“If you really want to stay, then you need to celebrate my birthday like all my friends do.”
Then my dad shouted at me, “I will never do that as long as I live.”
Then I noticed that he really meant. What he said. For a minute I didn’t understand what was going on in my life. Then my mom interrupted and took me to the side and told me, what happened on my first birthday?
My mom said, “We
all used to live in a small village in
Your dad and I were so proud and happy. Everyone was busy stuffing themselves, and with conversing good, and bad. During that time your grandmother and uncle were shifting a rock, which was in the way of the guests. Your grandmother accidentally lost the grip on the rock, which fell on her foot, and consequently broke her leg bone.
“Since then, we don’t celebrate your birthday, because everyone in the party said that you were the reason for your grandmother’s broken leg.”
So we think if we celebrate your birthday again,
“Something might happen to you grandmother.”
Since that day we don’t allow you and your sister to have big parties.
“But that was just a coincidence, and it won’t happen again,” I said.
But my mother refused to take a risk.
I asked my dad so many times after that to celebrate my sister birthday, because it’s my fault that I don’t celebrate my birthday, and my sister shouldn’t be punished for that.
But my dad said that we both are like his two eyes, so he doesn’t want to lose either of us. He also said that he wanted to give the same importance to both of us. Since then I always prayed to gods not give this kind of life to any of our family members, and wish no one to have a birthday like mine in their life.
Once on my sister’s birthday, my uncle brought a cake to celebrate. He decorated the house with colorful ribbons, big shiny balloons and an unbelievably big party favors. He invited many friends, and relatives to the party. That day I was so happy and excited. I thought that the bad luck had ended for my sister, so that she could have wonderful birthday from now on. I was so joyful, that I ran to my sister shouting.
“You are going to have a birthday party!”
My sister was, stunned.
She urgently said, “Are you joking?”
“No!” I screamed.
We started jumping around with excitement. Suddenly we both stopped due to a shouting noise coming from my parent’s room. We stood in front of the closed door. We could here their argument very clearly.
My dad was yelling, “No, I don’t want to celebrate this even.”
My mother relied, “Everyone is in here; don’t make a big deal out of this now.”
“Please come to the party.”
My father voice was very mad and burning, “Than you can go and celebrate, I will stay here,” he said.
With a weeping voice my mother pleaded with my father to come to the party.
“For the last time, come to the party, everyone is waiting.”
But my father rejected her request.
He said, “You get out of here.”
“I am not going to take the risk,” he screamed
Then we ran away from the door into the living room. My mother came out side in tears; she then took us to the backyard without a word. Everyone was ready in the backyard to start the party.
My mother led my sister to the cake, after conversing with the guests. Slowly my mother bent towards my ear and whispered,
“Go and call your dad to come to the party.”
“He will listen to you,” she said.
I slowly went to my parent’s bedroom door and opened it. So I could see my dad and asked him,” Everyone is waiting outside, to cut the cake, dad.”
“Please come.”
My dad with red eyes, shouted. “Please leave me alone and get away from here.”
But I didn’t leave the room. I stood in front of my dad like a statue. My dad looked at me and shouted, “I said get out from here.”
“Why are you still standing here?”
Still I didn’t move, but tears rolled down my cheeks. He came near me and held my hand, pushing me out of his room. And then he shut the door. I was outside the door standing. After a little while my dad came out and hugged me and said, “I am so sorry……….., I am so sorry Ra.”
“Come on then, let’s go to the party.” I replied
My dad said, “Nobody in this family will ever understand me.”
“No dad you’re wrong, I can understand you.”
“I know dad, what you’re thinking about?”
“Don’t worry dad, it’s only my fate not my sisters.”
“Think about how Nani will feel if you don’t celebrate her birthday.”
“It is silly to think what happens to me will happen to Nani too.
“We never gave her a birthday party, let’s at least attempt to check her fate, before we come to any conclusions, please.” I explained. I promise you dad, nothing will happen. Please believe me, “come on lets go.”
Then I held my dad hand and led him to the backyard, where Nani was cutting the cake. Suddenly when my sister and mother saw me leading my dad to the party, their faces lit up with happiness and overcome with joy. My dad celebrated with my sister while she cut the cake. Everyone was happy including my dad and me. But there was a little concern on my dad’s face, worrying about what kind of bad luck might happen this time.
A few days passed and nothing really happened from that point. My dad started to realize that there was no bad luck for Nani, and that it only affected me. Now everyone was happy that they could at least celebrate Nani’s birthday. But my dad still felt uneasy because he thought he was treating me and Nani differently. Because of my dad realizing that Nani could have birthday celebrations from then on and not have any bad luck, he wanted to give me a chance too.
Therefore on my 17th birthday this year, my dad decided to throw a big party to make it even. However I did not know any of this. When I came home after school, I saw many friends and relatives in my home.
I asked my mom, “Why are all these people here?”
My mom replied, “They are here to have a dinner on your birthday.”
But inside me, I had fear that something unexpected was going to happen. Towards the end of the dinner, my parents set up a big cake with my name on it. While my dad was passing by I stopped him and asked him,
“What’s going on?”
He slowly whispered in my ear surprise.
“I am surprised,” I said “What makes you want to celebrate when you know what’s going to happen.”
My dad just laughed and said, “We can take a chance, can’t we?”
I have heartedly said, “maybe, maybe not.”
My parents led me to the cake, and started singing the happy birthday song.
This was the moment I was looking forward to in my life for all these years. I could feel my heart lift up with excitement and joy. After the party I thanked my parents for a wonderful party. That day was an unforgettable day in my life. Then I asked them with a fear in my voice, “Why did you take this risk and what if something bad might happen?”
My parents said, “Nothing bad will happen to anybody, be cool Ra.”
We waited and watched for a few weeks to see what effect it would have. But nothing happened.
My sister and I were so happy because from now on we can celebrate our birthdays, how ever we wanted. More than anyone else, I was the most relieved, because my bad luck finally came to an end.