Meet the Seelam

            by Reddy Seelam

 

Hi guys welcome to my family, the Seelams (yes this is my last name but the whole family part is not mine). Did you ever think what the last name meant? Well let me tell you what it means “virginity”, that’s right, you heard me. Some questions might rise from that statement but shhhhhhhhhhh. I am not going to answer any of them though.

Well as you came this far lets me introduce you to my family. My dad the temper guy, well we call him that because if something goes wrong and it’s not your fault, but you try to tell him or explain it to him, your pretty much done for, he will get up come over to you and give you the look, you know the look when batman if facing the villains, yep that look. You feel very uncomfortable, that you start thinking why in the hell did I put my nose in this. You try to get yourself out, by telling him that it was not you but someone else. But does he listen, no of course not. He’s in his own world, “the, I am the king world,” he’s so in his world that he brings back memories form my childhood.

“Remember when you were a child you would spill juice” he would shout out.

“Nope.” Was me simple answer, with a smile?

“Why would you remember” he asked.

“Maybe I was not paying any attention,” I would causally reply.

Some other times just out of the bloom my big mouth would ask “hey dad how was I as a kid,”

“Not so great,” he would answer with a look, as if he was really looking back in time.                                                      

Something I got from him is this temper, the temper which makes us both work out. One day in the restaurant we had a group of 20 people that called in and said that they would need reservation, my dad agreed happily. We were about to arrange it upstairs in the banquet room, so I went to get the long extension wire from the back to set up the warmers (four big babies 220 volts each) . But when I came back I found that he had already used the out let from the room. So I went and asked him whiter he remembered that the out was not strong enough to hold that much power.

“Its alright it’s only for ten minutes,” he motioned me to get back to work.

“But it’ll overload the breaker,” I said really worried.

“Noruu muscoo ra yedava,” he shouted with his wrinkled face. “I worked in this business for thirty years; I know what I am doing.”

“Alright, alright you take care of this and I will take care of the regular business,” and walked out like bowling ball down the stairs. I ran out the restaurant, went to the hardware store and bought fuse replaces as quick as possible.

The 20 people came in on time and went straight to……… the tables, not to the buffet. They sat down for 10 minutes and discussed something about a meeting. Then they got up and went to the buffet, when they all sat down. One person got up to say the toast, but   zzzzziizizizziizizizii…. Beep, beep and the emergency lights went on.

“What the hell is going on,” a customer got up and yelled across the room in the dark.

Buy this time my dad was calling someone for help, guess who “me.” He was tensed up looking around like rabbit surrounded by hunting dogs, he knew he blew it up, and the hardware closed at five, he was screwed. So what does he do in the mean time, he decides to yell at the damn electricity department.

By the time he found me, I went upstairs and unplugged the wire and went to the back of the restaurant and changed the fuse. The lights came back on and the customers were back to normal.

But my dad the clever fellow went to my mom and told her,

“Tell your son not to charge his phone here; it blew the fuse because he put it in the wrong plug.”

“Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooh my goodness gracious is every thing fine now,” she stood with a worry look.

“Yeah, yeah it was nothing I took care of it,” he said with a guilty look. He then came out and told me to unhook the plugs and said “be careful how many you put.”

“What the f*&%, you talking about,” I said with my hands flung out.  

“You’re the one who put to many things on that outlet that caused the outage.”

At that moment I felt likes, a bulldozer and he a pile of tar. I was so pissed at him that, I didn’t even know I was the center of attention of the whole crowed, looking at me as if I was to be blamed for.

Well now you know my father, and that’s why I never bring him to the open house meetings. If I got a bad grade he would be all over the teachers asking what the hell they have been doing while I was slaking off, and start another whole parent’s war.

Well now that you know my father, I bet you are waiting for the rest of my family. Well you're out off luck. I am going to save the rest for next time when my teacher tells me to write about something. So until we meet again, adios amigo.