Luke and Lucy

            by Alina Schnake-Mahl

 

Luke and Lucy moved their arms, legs, head and hearts together.  Lucy was an omnipresent aspect of Luke’s life, Luke an omnipresent aspect of Lucy’s.  Their relationship was a strange one, forged from convenience, necessity, and compliance.  Their personalities complemented each other, but only because they were complete opposites.  Luke was a hot head, angered easily and one who rarely forgot transgressions.  He hated the color orange, pigeons, and inability.  He rarely spoke to anyone but Lucy, and often allowed her to form his words.  Lucy contained every personality trait Luke desired. Lucy loved silent movies and to indulge; gourmet food, silk sheets, leather couches. She was kind, empathetic, and forgiving.  She was everything a mother wanted for her son, except for her mischievous streaks.  She concocted wild acts, which she had to convince Luke to perform.  Lucy couldn’t stand drizzle, motorcycles, and those who lacked ingenuity. Luke and Lucy were best friends, and worst enemies.

Luke woke Friday morning at seven thirty-two.  He never woke at a time, which was a multiple of ten, too classic.  He threw off the green blankets covering his thin body.  Stepping into the shower, he turned the water onto it’s hottest potential.  Hot was the only possibility, enough heat to burn away the memories and center his energy.  He stared at his apartment, hoping the evil glare he sent towards the clothing strewn on the floor and week old festering leftovers would instantaneously tidy them.  Unsuccessful in his wish, he grabbed yesterdays outfit and threw it on.  Snatching his house key and wallet, he exited his apartment and headed for the Starbucks across the street. 

Warming his hands with black coffee- those crazy flavored concoctions were an insult to the coffee bean-Luke sat down on the bus stop bench.  Suddenly, Lucy popped up peppy and optimistic. 

“Goddamn it Lucy, right now?”

“ Ah Luke, I’m sorry.  But you know very well you can’t go a day without me.”

“That may be true, but now isn’t a good time.  I need to be at work in half an hour.”

            “That’s ok, I’ll go too. It’ll be a Luke and Lucy day.”

            The number 14 bus, gray and depressed, pulled up to the stop.  Luke paid the plump bus driver the $1.35 fee and entered the bus.  He hoped that when he turned around to sit down Lucy wouldn’t still be there with him.  Unfortunately for him, his second wish of the day wasn’t granted.  For the next four stops Luke attempted to convince Lucy to let him go to work by himself that day.  At times the conversation became rather intense, soliciting strange looks from the other passengers.  Outside the warm vehicle, the sky had turned dark; small droplets of water began to fall to the dirty sidewalk. 

            “Oh god Luke, it’s drizzling.  We gotta get inside, you can’t go to work.  Ohgodohgodohgod.  I don’t like the scary drizzle.”

“But Lucy, I need to go.  I have work to do, I’m already behind.” 

“No Luke you can’t, please.  We need to get inside a building, now.”

“Fine Lucy, but I need to find a payphone to call my boss.”

“Thanks Luke, thanks.  But, a payphone means going into the drizzle.  Back home, that’s what needs to happen.  Call there, you have a phone.”

After much dodging of drizzle and a cab ride in the opposite direction, Luke’s apartment loomed in the cab’s window. A wild sprint to the foyer ensued and was successful in preventing any soaking of clothing. 

Luke threw his damp jacket to the floor, allowing it to mix with the previously created mess.  He dug through piles of wrappers stacked on his new leather couch.  Finally, between an empty box of Cheezits and used Kleenex, the portable phone appeared.

“Here goes Lucy, what am I going to say?”

“Just say you’re sick and you can’t come in today.”

The phone rang three times before a deep male voice picked up.

“Hello?”

“Hey, Bob, this is Luke.”

“Where the hell are you? You’re forty-five minutes late.”

“Yeah, about that.  I can’t come in today.  I’m sick, I don’t want anyone else to catch this. ”

“Luke, this is the last straw.  You’ve missed seven days this month.  You come in late almost everyday, and you’re productivity is extremely low.”

“But Bob, I’m really sick.  My head is killing me, and I’m dizzy.”

“Tell him you’ll bring him an apple-pie tomorrow.” Lucy interjected quietly.

“Shh be quite Lucy”

“What did you say?”

“Nothing Bob, nothing”

“All right Luke, one more sick day or late arrival and that’s it.  No more excuses, no more breaks.  Got it?”

“Of course.  I promise it won’t happen again.  Sorry Bob.”

“Just don’t do it again.  Thin ice, remember, thin ice.”

“Got it. Good bye”

“Bye”

Luke placed the phone onto the receiver and slumped into a green sun bleached chair with rips on each arm.

“What the fuck Lucy? Why would you talk while I’m on the phone with my boss?” 

“Luke I’m sorry, he couldn’t tell I was talking.”

Luke picked at the tears in the fabric with the nail of his ring finger allowing the dirty cotton to bulge out.  Standing up slowly, he allowed his knees to crack loudly.  Luke needed food. 

Luke walked to the refrigerator and opened the door.  He had found the refrigerator last year, abandoned on the side of the street.  He’d dragged it home and since that day it had held his beers and just enough food for two meals a day.  Today, the fridge held a strange combination of food, sliced white bread, a bag of baby carrots, caviar, cheddar cheese, roast beef, a lobe of foi gras and various condiments.  Luke made two sandwiches, enough food for two people, and returned to his chair. 

Luke’s apartment was a strange mixture of new and old items: shiny and clean vs. stained and worn.   Posters lined the wall, old movies and football teams, some attached by only one push pin.  The kitchen was immaculate.  Plates cups and bowls all had specific spots which they were always replaced to.  All surfaces were sparkling, cleaned with 409 three times a week.  The rest of the apartment was a contrast. Filled coffee cups, uneaten take-out boxes, dirt covered clothing, and junk lay everywhere.  Luke liked it this way, the one room was the only clean he needed. 

“Now that I’m not going to work what’s the plan for the day?” asked Luke mid-bite. 

“Well, I’ve been thinking, why does your boss make you go into work everyday?”

“Umm, I don’t know, to do work maybe.” Replied Luke sarcastically.

“But why do you have to do the work at the office building?” Lucy questioned.

“Because the papers are there, the computer, the other people.”

“The computer Luke, the computer! You can always email papers and talk to people on the phone.  No one else uses the computer on your desk, it’s practically yours already.”  Lucy replied with growing intensity in her voice. 

Lucy’s words tumbled around in Luke’s brain. Were they telling him to steal the computer?

“Don’t steal it Luke, just change it’s place. You’ll be able to do soooo much more work.  No long trips to work, all your travel time will now be work time.  Quite frankly, I think they’d want you to have it.”

“Lucy, I couldn’t do that.”

“I’ll tell you what to do. Then you’ll be able to do it.”

Luke conversed with Lucy as he tidied up his house.  Clothing off the ground, trash in the garbage.  He changed his sheets to new 300 thread count ones.  Lucy told Luke the plan, mapping out every slight detail.  Luke fell asleep that night excited and nervous about the next day’s activities.

Luke awoke the next morning, again at seven thirty-two.  He was no longer giddy about the proposed computer heist.  He dressed quickly, pulling on any color he felt was inconspicuous; brown pants, dark green shirt and jacket.  He went to the Starbucks and bought two venti coffees: he needed to focus.  He knew he shouldn’t be afraid, Lucy told him everything he had to do. When he got on the bus, there was Lucy, ready to explain what to do.  Lucy went over the plan one last time.  Luke arrived at the office at 19 past, and paced outside for the four minutes until 8:23.

He shuffled into the building, remembering to look groggy from the previous day’s “sickness”.  Enter the elevator, go to your floor, get off.  Act normal.  He felt the eyes of every person he passed watching him and thought each one knew what he was going to do. The elevator was empty, he stretched his sweaty arms and rubbed them on his black jacket.  Bob stood in front of the exit to the 5^th floor.

 “How are you doing today?” Questioned Bob.   

“Good, I’m feeling better today.  Just needed a little rest.” Luke replied too quickly. 

“Glad to hear it.  You’ve got work to make up now.  Get to it.”

“Yes sir”

Luke approached his cubicle, each step bringing him closer to the computer. It sat ominously, unaware of the new location it would soon occupy.  He couldn’t pull his eyes away from it.  Luke sat on his chair in front of the computer and typed away the rest of the morning.  Lunch was taken, and food was consumed, but all was done with a split mind.  The robbery bounced through his head, keeping his focus far from work. 

            At 4:48 Luke left his cubicle tripping slightly on an extension chord.  He swiveled his head around to be sure no was had seen or was watching, and walked nonchalantly to the single stalled bathroom at the end of the hall. During the walk he swiveled his head around to be sure that no one was watching him.  Work would end in two minutes, and everyone would exit the building:  Everyone, except Luke.  Lucy’s words were in Lukes mind, stay in the bathroom for 25 minutes, make sure everyone really has left.  You know that there are no cameras here, but there are janitors.  Watch out for those sneaky janitors.

            Luke sat on the cold, damp floor of the employee bathroom.  He tapped his fingers on the wall, leaving a quiet sound when each fingernail hit.  The tapping slowed down as the time dwindled away, each minute a slower pace.  After 48 minutes Luke pushed himself off the floor.  He hadn’t heard anyone for about 20 minutes, but had wanted to stay extra to be safe and to collect himself.  Go for it Luke, he imagined Lucy saying. Be confident, be casual and be quick. 

            Listening to Lucy’s advice he strode to his desk making the 20-foot trek in only 4 strides.  Someone had left paper’s on top of the computer, as if to hide it from its kidnapping.  Luke took the papers, shook them into a neat pile, and began to work at the chords in the back of the computer.  Upon pulling all the wires from the wall, Luke turned away from his desk to look for a large box.  Two cubicles away, there was a large box with the words IBM written in bold letters on every side.  He ripped open the box, and looking inside he saw a brand new computer, pretty computer. Removing the computer, he carried the box back to his cubicle.  He put his computer in the brown box with its convenient packaging, and sealed it with duct tape.  The keyboard was left on the desk, entirely forgotten. 

            Luke lifted the box slowly remembering Lucy’s words to always lift with your knees, not your back.  He lugged the box to the stairwell and prepared for the long trip ahead.  The elevator had been rejected because, if a janitor were to see it moving, they would know someone was in the building.  By the third flight down, Luke was exhausted. Forty nine pounds I think.  No, I would say it’s fifty two. His hands were sweaty and his legs were cramping, each step felt like twenty.  On the last stair of second floor, Luke tumbled to the ground.  The box flew up a foot and then crashed down, going bam as it hit.

            Luke lay on the ground, his mind a complete blank.  Then Lucy’s words came to him, when it goes off plan, just run.  Don’t forget the computer, but run!  He scrambled for the box, picked it up, and struggled quickly down the stairs.  Once at the bottom he pushed open the door and sprinted straight into a janitor. 

            “Excuse me sir,” the hefty man in a dark blue jumpsuit exclaimed.

            “Yah, yah excuse me.  Gottogo.”

            “What do you have in that big old box? It looks mighty heavy.” The janitor said in an entirely unsuspicious way.

            “Why do you care?”

            “Just curious I suppose.”

            “It’s a, it’s a, uhhhh,” Luke replied, no reasonable explanation entering his mind. It’s a box of paper work I need to take home, just some old knick knacks I thought I would get rid of, or it’s sort of personal sorry, would all have worked. 

            Luke turned from the Janitor and ran out the door of the building.  Free, Free, Free.  You did it Luke, you did it. 

 

When Luke returned home Lucy was there. 

            “Well done Luke, You got it.  Set it up.”

            “Wow thanks, it was all you Lucy.  You told me everything I needed to do.  You were the brains of the operation I was just the body that carried it out.”

            “You did fantastic Luke.  Congratulations. Tell bob tomorrow that you can do your work at home from now on.”

            “Yeah, I’ll do that, tomorrow, I’ll tell him.” Luke’s words traveled off silently as his eyes slowly shut and he fell asleep. 

            Luke awoke the next morning to the sound of a strong knock on the door of his apartment. He groggily stood up and walked to the door.

            “Mr. Luke Green?” Asked a man wearing all black, with a badge displaying the letters NYPD adorning his outfit.

            “Yah, yah I guess I’m Luke Green.”

            “A janitor at your work place saw a man hurriedly leave the office building yesterday after hours, carrying a large box.  It was later discovered that a computer had disappeared.”

            “So what? Why are you telling me this?”

            “Well, the computer which disappeared was the one from your desk.  In addition, the man the janitor saw had a name badge which said Luke Green on it. Sir, you’ll have to come down to the station with me.”

            “No, I don’t want to.  That computer belongs to me.  I’m the only one who uses it.  I can do my work at home.  Lucy, explain it to the policeman.  You’ll make him understand.  Just tell him why I need the computer.  Okay Lucy?”

“It was my idea, I’m sorry. I told him why, how, and when to steal the computer.”

“Thank you Lucy. See Sir, it wasn’t my fault.  She told me to do it.” 

“Mr. Green, who are you talking to?” Said the policeman, thoroughly confused.
            “I’m talking to fucking Lucy.  It’s pretty fucking obvious.”

“You and I are the only one’s here sir.”

“No, Lucy just admitted to you that she was an accomplice.  You’re fucking crazy.”  Luke said getting increasingly agitated.  He began to shift his feet, tap the wall, and lunged slightly toward the policeman.

“I don’t know who you think Lucy is, but you’ve been talking to me the whole time.  You told me you stole it.”

“Fuck you.  You’re just out to fuck with me.  You goddam cops just want to Fuck with people.  Is this fun for you?”  Luke’s brow had furrowed and he gave the policeman his worst stare down.  He talked to Lucy, and Lucy talked back to him.  If Lucy wasn’t here like the policeman said, then he was crazy.  Lucy did exist, didn’t she?

 

Luke cautiously reached his hand towards the package.  A short letter was taped to the front:

For Luke Green.  1 tablet of each type shall be taken daily on a full stomach.  Pills are to be taken in order to combat paranoid schizophrenia and psychosis.  Patient experiences auditory hallucinations, delusions, and paranoia.  Primary symptoms are voices in the head which the patient interacts with and has named Lucy.  The court has ordered that these pills much be taken daily.  Failure to comply will result in imprisonment.

Luke dropped a pill into his mouth.  As it disappeared down his throat, with it went his best friend and worst enemy. 

“Good bye Lucy, I’ll miss you.”