Looking for a Job?

            by Gang Huang

 

       “Where do you see yourself in the next five years, Mr. Chong?” I said, staring dead into his eyes.

       “I can only hope, err, to be successfully working and working my way up the hierarchy” he replied, seeming very bold, but simplistic.

       “Out of the first six questions, he only answered two questions to the point. And even among those answers, there were some ambiguities.” I whispered toward my desk. “I’m looking for someone who is concise and interesting. I really wish that the office down there would stop sending people like him to me. Although anybody would be fine, picking somebody this idiotic is preposterous. Look at him. Utterly impatient. Can’t he even sit still? I bet he has ADD.”

       “Err, so do you think I’ll get the job? I mean, I really need it and I think I would make a perfect candidate. If you hire me now, I can start to work tomorrow! I really hope you will give me a chance! Qiu qiu ni le! I beg you!” Chong almost seemed desperate – almost.

       “Well, it was nice talking to you, Mr. Chong. We will be contacting you in about a week to let you know if you are enlisted. I want to add that in case you are not enlisted, you should consider looking for another job. Nice meeting you. Please exit the room to the right. Zai jian!”

       After the door closed, I looked down at the application sheets. There were four more applicants who would be trapping me in this small room for 30 minutes. The next applicant is Seiko Kaneda, F, 21 years old and the one after Jerry Power, M, 24. Moving the applications aside, I decided to give the room a quick scan. Directly in front of me, there stood a large shelf with books of various sizes. They were all aligned in alphabetical order and the title letters all happened to be either in red or blue. Behind the shelf was the white wallpaper with a hint of canary yellow. Next to the shelf was a chair with a bright red comforter and round arm rests with the words “from dawn to twilight” carved on one side and “we entertain for a living” on the other. On the other side of the shelf was the main door. It was painted over more than once. Under the left window was my other desk which contained mounts of magazines and journals that dated even before I moved to this room. On the right side of the room was another door. Mr. Chong left through the door that many used before him. I hadn’t gone through it because it had stains all over it. I’d requested that the office to change the door more than once but the people never responded. Before I lay my desk, which was inundated with papers and cut outs that only a foot radius within my reach was free of the contamination; of course, that is also where the applications lay.

       I checked my watch multiple times and started to show my frustration for my next applicant’s absence, but that was when the knock caught my attention.

       “Coming.” I said loudly.

       “Hi, nice to meet you! My name is Seiko Kaneda. I’m sorry I’m late. My boyfriend’s car broke down three blocks away and I had to walk to here.” said Seiko blushing.

       “Oh? Is he outside right now, Miss?”

       “No, left right after he dropped me off. Oh, and please call me Seiko.”

       “Okay then, Seiko. Do you work well with other people?” I jumped straight into the question as if to gain back the time lost by her tardiness.

       “Naturally. Some people even say that I’m too social, hahaha.”

       “How do you deal with problems? Both yours and other people’s I mean.”

       “I usually ask for other people to help me with problems. I’m not afraid of getting help. When the times get rough, my friends are my only dependents.”

       “Very well then. Very well. Now, I have another question for you. You mentioned that you have a boyfriend. Now, what would you do if I order you to betray your boyfriend? For the cause of this organization, of course. What would be your reaction?” I said in an amused tone.

“Wha, what kind of question is that? I don’t think I want to answer that question. Besides, what does it have anything to do with this job?”

       “Hmm, it was a way for us to test your reaction. Since you refuse to answer the question, I suppose I have to let you go now. It was a pleasure meeting you. You will be informed of your qualification in about a week. Either way, I think you should try to find another job interview for back up. As you know, we only need one person for this job and there are about 20 people applying for it. Well good bye now. Please exit to the right door.”

       “Doumo arigato. Thank you very much,” she said and went through the door in puzzlement.

       Probably because the only window in the room was located to the left, the right door seemed gloomier than everywhere else in the room. On the contrary, the dust in the room that glowed due to the sunshine from the window made the left side of the room feel light-weighted.

       Before I had the time to catch a breath, the third knock of the day echoed through the room.

       “Come in please,” I motioned toward the door. A young looking Caucasian man entered through the frame.

       “You are Jerry I take it?”

       “Yah, I’m Jerry. It’s nice to meet ya!” he said. “That was a long document I had to sign before I came in here! It was like 30 pages!”

       “Never mind that. You are wasting our precious time. Please start by introducing yourself.”

“Right, I’m 23 and I am looking for a job that allows me to give something back to the community and at the same time gives me the satisfaction. That is why I think this job is perfect for me. I’m a very hardworking guy and would recommend myself above anybody else. I give you my full endorsement on myself along with a complete warranty!” he said, nodding.

       “I see… That is interesting thing you say. Recommending yourself? Say, wouldn’t somebody else usually do that?” I said in a mocking fashion.

       “True. But I feel confident enough to do that to myself. And to you – sir? What should I call you?”

       “We don’t give you our names in the interview. It makes the process fair and untainted,” I replied. “Just call me Mr. Zero for now. Even if you get the job, you probably won’t see me again, so what’s the point of knowing my name?”

       “Um…Well Mr. Zero, do you think you can tell me my assignment if I get the job?” he said boldly.

       “May I remind you that you are not accepted yet? Rather, I don’t think I’ve even started the interview process yet.”

       “He needs to do something about his boldness. Being too arrogant is not good for this job, either. I could probably work something out if he could fix his attitude,” I murmured to myself.

       “Well Mr. Jerry…” the interrogation began.

 

       “…we will be contacting you in about a week. Thank you for your visit. Please leave to the right.”

       After Jerry left the room, I revealed my raw emotion.

       “He is never going to make it. As far as I’m concerned, he can ruin somebody’s life with that attitude. I’ve seen many young people in my life but never as arrogant as he is. Well, I’m just glad that’s over. Either way, I wouldn’t have to see him ever again,” I said out loud.

       I rearranged the paperwork on my desk and then took out the application for today’s last applicant.

       “Ana Alexandrovna Adrianova, 22,” I read out loud. “I hope she’s good. Those other people were horrible!”

       After about ten minutes, my next applicant arrived. As usual, the knocking sound echoed through the room first.

       “Please come in,” I said restlessly.

       “Zdrastvitye,” she said while entering.

       “Hello to you too. Kak tebya zaboot?” I asked her.

       “My name is Ana Alexandrovna Adrianova. But please call me Ana,” she said in a pleasant voice. In fact, it was the most pleasant voice that I’d ever heard.

       “Would you please have a seat?” I suggested that she sit down. I figured we’d be having a long chat.

       Ana was a wonderful girl. She possessed an inner beauty as well as physical adornment. Her voice, which rung in my ears, gave me a calm sensation. I was glad that the office saved the best for the last.

       “So Ana, please tell me, how did you became interested in this job?” I asked.

       “Well, my friend saw it online and told me that I should apply for it. I thought it might be difficult for me to actually get the job, since it’s like a dream come true, but I came anyways,” she replied.

       “A very wise choice. Now tell me, what do you think is your best characteristic? What makes you different from any other individuals out there?”

       “My friends always tell me that I can get along with peers very well. And that I possess something that attracts people.”

       “And that you do, that you do,” I thought.

       “Beside, I think I am a very good actor.”

       “Well, of course, somebody trying to be cast in the next show on our channel definitely has to know how to act!” I said. “Do you desperately want to have this job?”

       “Yes, yes I do,” she said.

       “Well then…” I said while moving my hand toward a black metal object about the size of my hand.

       “Well then Ana, let me tell you about something.” I said quietly, moving the object toward her face. She gasped when it faced her pink lips.

“You are already on it!”

       I stood up and walked toward the right door, holding the microphone, and opened it for the first time. Inside were the previous interviewees exulting in joy.

       “You are on our reality show called ‘Do You Want To Be The Next Star?’. Congratulations! This is the final part of the show. Everything you have done up to this point has been filmed and broadcasted all over the country.” I spoke, not to her, but to a hidden microphone.

       “You have to be kidding me…” was her response.

       “Well, stay tuned for next week’s ‘Do You Want To Be The Next Star?’ Until then, I’m Robert Radrigus and thanks for watching! Adios!”