The Urban Blondie

            by Rebecca Hardin

 

    A glint of blue eyes and a wisp of smoke were the only signs that Blondie was in the shed. 

 

From the hayloft, he looked over a hanging scene.  Tuco had a noose around his neck, and was

 

sitting on a horse with a smug look on his face.  Meanwhile, the town's sheriff was reading the

 

crimes that Tuco was guilty of.  As the sheriff got further down the list, Blondie picked up the

 

rifle that was laying on the ground by his feet, and took careful aim.  At the words, "And may

 

God have mercy on his soul," Blondie fired: one shot had the effect of a knife on the noose,

 

four more shots blew the hats off of the heads of the town's ranking members.

 

                            *              *             *              *             *              *                *  

 

     Elijah hit the stop button on the remote, the scene still vivid in his mind.  Looking at the clock

 

he stooped to pick up the jeans from the top of the growing pile of clothes at the foot of his bed. 

 

He then proceeded to sift through the pile for a clean shirt, sniffing each one as he dug deeper

 

and deeper into the pile.  Pulling the shirt over his messy blond hair, he shook his hair into place,

 

then went downstairs to grab a cereal bar on his way out to school.  As he made his way to the

 

bus stop, he wondered what the rest of The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly had in store for him.

 

   

    As Elijah walked onto Berkeley High's campus, he looked around the courtyard, then made his

 

way into the C building to Latin Class.  As he walked in, he noticed the words "Verbal Quiz,"

 

written in bold on the board.  Groaning, he made his way over to where Thomas was sitting. 

 

    "Dude, this sucks," said Elijah as he dropped his bag next to the desk.

 

    "Tell me about it," whispered Thomas, "I didn't even read the chapter."

  

     "Whatever man, you know she never picks on you."

 

At those words, the teacher arrived, and commenced to call on Elijah, questioning him on various

 

sections of the reading.  The teacher went around the class, and ended her questioning with

 

Thomas, who blanched noticably when he was called upon.  Elijah's brain frantically scrambled

 

for a way to help his friend when it recalled the last scene he had watched that morning.  Quickly,

 

he scribbled the answer on a corner of his folder.  He did this for all the questions to come, and

 

when the bell rang, Thomas grabbed his stuff, and immediatly thanked Elijah.

 

    "That's what I'm here for, man."  Elijah replied with a grin.

 

                                 *        *         *      *      *      *       *       *        

 

    The miles and miles of sand readily reflected the sun's light and heat.  Dehydrated, Blondie

 

lay on the ground with only the shadow of Tuco's horse sitting over him.  He could hear the

 

water hitting the side of the canteen as Tuco silently taunted him.  A dust cloud appeared and

 

was nearing the road that sat about twenty yards in front of them.  Intrigued, Tuco got off of the

 

horse and walked over to the carriage that had appeared from the dust cloud.  Tuco stopped the

 

horses, and opened the door to look for valuables.  A dying soldier crawled foward.

 

    "Please, do you have water?"

 

    "Yes, but not for a dead man," replied Tuco.

 

    "I will make it worth the water you waste.  Do you want twenty thousand dollars?"

 

    "Who doesn't, soldier?"

 

    "If you go to Sandy Hill cemetery...please, I need water."

 

    "Don't die!" pleaded Tuco. 

 

When Tuco returned to the carriage, the soldier had died, and Blondie was on the floor next to

 

the dead man's face.

 

      "Blondie!  I will kill you if you've done anything to the soldier!" yelled Tuco.

  

     "I...wouldn't recomend that...if you want the twenty thousand."

 

                                   *     *    *    *     *    *    *    *    *    

 

   "Elijah!"

   

Elijah woke up with a start.  Apparently he had been daydreaming about the movie.

 

   "Sorry, sir."

 

Leaning up in his chair, he started to write the daydream in the margins of his notebook.  After

 

the bell rang, Elijah walked out of the G building and into the courtyard to meet his friends.  As

 

he approached the meeting place, his cellphone rang.  Looking at the ID section, the phone

 

informed him that an unknown name was calling.

 

    "Hello?" an unfamilier voice asked.

 

    "Hi," replied Elijah unsure of what else to say.

 

    "I know the whereabouts of a hidden treasure," said the strange voice.

 

    "Really?  Where?" said Elijah, immediatly recalling his dream.

 

    "I will only tell you half of the info; I will tell the rest to your best friend."

 

    "Okay, mister."

 

    "It's Bill Carson," replied the man, but the words fell upon deaf ears.

 

    "Hey, Thomas, c'mere.  Phone!" yelled Elijah.

 

He handed his phone to Thomas.

 

    "Hello?" said Thomas.

 

As Elijah strained to hear the conversation, all he managed to catch was Thomas' "yeahs" and

 

"uh-huhs."  Then after a couple of minutes, Thomas handed the phone back to Elijah.

 

    "Mr. Unknown wants to talk to you again," said Thomas with a sigh.

 

    "Yeah," said Elijah into the phone.

 

    "The exact location of the treasure is on top of a mesa-like hill.  When looking straight west,

 

you can see the Golden Gate bridge.  You can hear the sound of water, and it is mostly deserted

 

during the day, except for the ocasional sweaty person in shorts and a shirt.  A grassy field is in

 

the middle of the hill.  The treasure will be buried under the middle of the lowest push up bar."

 

    "You told Thomas the general location didn't you."

 

    "Yes," replied the unknown man.

 

    "Why?"

 

    "Because I'm Bill Carson.  Goodbye, Blondie."

 

 

     Spooked, Elijah turned to Thomas.  A strange look came over Thomas' face, and together they

 

told their group that they were leaving.  They turned and walked out of the gate, whispering

 

about the phone call only when they were out of earshot.

 

    "Fifty-fifty," said Thomas.

 

    "Of course.  And no questions about the other half's information."

 

    "Of course."

   

                                  *       *       *       *       *       *       *       *     

    

    At the edge of POW camp, Tuco and Blondie stood in grey uniforms.  Overseeing the whole

 

area were the blue uniforms of the captors.  One in particular was eyeing the pair.

 

    "Look, Blondie, it's Angel Eyes!" exclaimed Tuco.

 

                                 *       *       *         *       *        *      *        *      

    As Elijah and Thomas walked up Shattuck towards the general area of the treasure,

 

Elijah noticed that a young man in a black pinstriped fedora had been walking behind them for at

 

least two blocks.  Elijah vaguely recognized the face, and nudged Thomas to look at their

 

follower. 

 

    "That guy looks kinda familier," Thomas said, trying to figure out who the man was.

 

    "Hey, is that the guy that hangs out at that club in SF, what's it called?"

 

    "It's called Angel Eyes.  I wonder what he's doing in Berkeley.  Maybe he wants to see where

 

the luckiest guys in the world do for fun!"

 

    "Yah, sure man.  Whatever you say,"  Elijah snorted.  "Wouldn't it be funny if Bill Carson told

 

Angel Eyes about the treasure too?"

 

    "What do you mean?"

 

    "Well, let's hypothetically say Bill told us and someone else," Elijah chuckled unaware

 

Thomas was taking him seriously.

 

    "Okay, so what?"

 

    "Use your brain, that's what it's for."

 

    "Oh...that's bad.  What do you think we should do, talk to Angel Eyes?"

 

Before Elijah could answer, Thomas jogged over to where Angel Eyes was standing.  Elijah

 

stood, shocked by Thomas' stupidity.  As he observed the duo, he saw Angel Eyes' eyebrow

 

raise, and a cellphone emerge from a jacket pocket.  "Damn it," thought Elijah.  As Elijah began

 

to jog over, a white sedan pulled up out of nowhere, and Angel Eyes pushed Thomas into the

 

back.  Elijah reached the curb as the car pulled away.  He stood there stunned, then turned

 

towards the direction of the departed car.  As Elijah wandered, wondering what to do about

 

Thomas, the screech of a car made him turn around.  Thomas emerged from the white sedan with

 

a bloody nose, and tried to motion his friend to stay away from the car.  Elijah didn't understand

 

the gesture, and ran forward to check on his injured friend.  All of a sudden, a hand reached out

 

of the sedan's now rolled down window, and pulled Elijah towards the door.

 

    "Well, well, Blondie.  I understand from your friend Thomas that I am to congratulate you on

 

your new-found riches," sneered Angel Eyes as he opened the door.  "Please, come and sit next to

 

me, the door's open.  It's ok, you don't have to say anything, I found out most of what I need to

 

know from Thomas.  I just need you to lead me to the exact site."

   

    "I see," was the only answer Elijah could think of, as the car sped off.  Internally, he was

 

desperately trying to think of a way out of this new situation.  Angel Eyes was going on about

 

keeping Thomas away, and Elijah was finding it hard to formulate a plan, until he noticed they

 

were coming upon a red light.  Elijah quickly unlocked the door, and before Angel Eyes could

 

react, jumped out of the car and ran back to Thomas.  Elijah grabbed him, and dragged him into

 

the nearest store.  Elijah was just turning around from the front window to make sure Angel Eyes

 

hadn't seen where they had gone, when a fist came out of nowhere.  Elijah staggered.

 

    "You traitor," Thomas yelled, "You squealed, and now we won't ever see if Bill was telling the

 

truth!"

 

    "I should be yelling that at you," Elijah calmly replied.  "I told Angel Eyes nothing.  I escaped

 

from that car."

 

    "How?"

 

    "The car stopped at a red light, and well, I opened the door and ran for it.  Are you okay?  Can

 

you move at all?"

 

    "Yah, ish.  I'll be able to get there.  You think Angel Eyes will be there waiting there for us?"

 

    "Probably, but maybe our luck will hold."

 

                             *          *           *           *            *              *            *           

   

    A big cemetery unfolded before Tuco's eyes.  He ran around in search of the tomb that held the

 

elusive treasure.  He found it, and as he began to dig with his hands, a shovel appeared.  Blondie

 

stood there, one hand nonchalantly resting on his holster.

 

    "There are two kinds of people in this world: those who dig, and those who watch."

 

All of a sudden, a second shovel appeared.

 

    "I'm afraid you're not a person who watches, Blondie." interjected Angel Eyes.

 

    "Oh, I think I am.  You see, that's not the right grave.  I'll tell you what, I'll write the name of

 

the grave on this rock, and we will see who can get to it fastest."

 

    Angel Eyes, Blondie, and Tuco spread out among the graves.  After a few moments of eyeing

 

each other, Angel Eyes went for his gun.  Unfortunatly for him, Blondie's gun cleared the holster

 

first, and Angel Eyes fell to the ground.  Tuco returned to the original grave, and Blondie pointed

 

to the grave next to it.  Tuco dug, and unearthed the gold coins.  Content, they each grabbed four

 

bags of coins.

 

                                     *          *            *          *           *          *            *          

 

    Thomas and Elijah approached the Clark Kerr Campus, just above College Avenue.

 

    "This is where the supposed treasure is?" Elijah asked skeptically.

 

    "That's what Bill said."

 

Racking his brain, Elijah thought of all the places where water could be.  Suddenly, it hit him:

 

the track.  On a clear day, one could see the Golden Gate, and below the western edge was a

 

pool.

 

    "I know where the treasure is!" Elijah said excitedly.

 

A click of a gun answered his excited statement.

 

    "That's good," sneered Angel Eyes.  "Let's move, boys."

 

 

    The trio approached the deserted track.  The sun was setting behind the Golden Gate, and the

 

smell of eucalyptus filled the boys' nostrils as they walked towards the push up bars. 

 

Remembering the movie, Elijah picked up a stray flier hanging around from a summer camp. 

 

    "If I write the location of the treasure on this flier, will you duel with me for it?"

 

    "If you feel like dying, Blondie."

 

    "We'll see about that.  I just need a gun."

  

     Elijah placed the paper in the middle of the big green field, and Angel Eyes threw a gun at

 

Elijah's feet.  Elijah picked up the weapon, and although he had never held a gun before, a odd

 

sense of calm spread through his body.  Angel Eyes and Elijah spread out in opposite directions

 

until thirty feet of grass separated them.  Angel Eyes glared at Elijah, then glanced to the

 

unarmed Thomas.  He carefully brought his gun up, but Elijah shot first.  Angel Eyes went down,

 

and Elijah turned his back.  Angel Eyes twitched a little trying to hold his gun up to take down

 

Elijah.  But the boy sensed the twitch and turned to fire one more shot.  Angel Eyes' head

 

dropped as the bullet lodged in his chocolate colored eyes.

 

    "Dude, where did you learn how to shoot a gun?"

 

    "I dunno.  It just came to me.  Let's go see about that treasure."

 

    The pair approaced the thrown aside shovel that Angel Eyes had dumped before the dual. 

 

Elijah motioned to Thomas.

 

    "Why me? " Thomas whined.

 

    "There are two types of people in this world: those who dig, and those who watch," quoted

 

Elijah with a chuckle.

 

    "I don't get it."

 

    "Just dig."

 

About a foot below the surface, the shovel hit a box.  Thomas pulled the box out of the dirt and

 

handed it to Elijah.  Elijah opened it, and found the promised treasure.  Grinning, the two walked

 

over to the view of the bridge, sat down on the track and began counting the money.