The Diaries of My Life

As a Mexican

            by Bobbie Burgos

 

            For me, life would be terrible without Mexicans. Besides to obvious cooking and cleaning factor, I wouldn’t have anyone to laugh with, or what really concerns me, to laugh at anymore. My drunken moments just wouldn’t be the same. Family get- togethers would be so dull and not at all enjoyable. There are just certain thing I can’t do without a Mexican present.

 

The Kids

            When Mexican kids aren’t being little brats or driving you crazy, they’re actually pretty hilarious. My Best friend’s (Adriana) little brother for example, we call him Chicken, is one of those kids.

            We were down the block at the abandoned elementary school. Chicken was playing on the play structure while Adriana and I sat atop the monkey bars when the corn guy goes by honking his horn.

            “Chicken, go get the corn guy. Buy me a big bag!” Adriana yells across the yard. So Chicken, being five years old and pretty scrawny runs awkward already, but he was wearing his older brother’s chanclas which were about two sizes too big. So he’s running in his chanclas, wearing shorts which accentuate his skinny little legs, when he realizes that he’s not going to catch the corn man, so he starts to yell.

            “Espera! Estop!! EWAIT!!!!” Chicken screams with all of his might as the corn guy finally stops. The whole time, Adriana and I are uncontrollably laughing at the situations and how it reminds us of a sketch from a George Lopez movie. “Here Nanas,” Chicken hands the corn over to his sister.

            “Did you tell him to put hot sauce?” Adriana looks down at him, waiting for an answer.

            “Yeah,” Chicken replies, waiting to be dismissed.

            “Ok, go play,” Adriana dismisses him as he runs to the swing, making a loud clacking noise with his over sized chanclas.

           

The Teens

            Mexicans always have to have alcohol at parties, it’s just to be expected. New years of 2007 was probably one of my most memorable drinking experiences.

            Yet again, I was at Adriana’s house, because I actually spend more time there than I do at my own house. The night had been going pretty normal, not much was happening, when Adriana’s mom comes to talk to me.

            “Are you spending the night here?” she asks with concern.

            “Yeah,” I reply, awaiting her further questioning .

            “Oh shit, I thought you were going home. Woman… here, drink this. I’ll have Alex make you your own,” she hands me a cup with about two sips of margarita sitting in the bottom of it. Of course I drank it, and within a few minutes I had finished another one. I  was drinking an Incredible Hulk (which I would not recommend), when a small Styrofoam cup of champagne was shoved into my hand.

            “Hurry up and drink that shit, come on, the countdown’s about to start.” Adriana’s older brother tells me as I knock back the rest of the green drink I had in my hand. I walked into the living room and huddled around everyone else crowding the television. I felt like that stupid ball was never gonna drop all the way to the bottom.

            “Feliz año Nuevo!” everyone shouted, then we all drank our champagne. Now the party was really getting started.

            By now I wasn’t quite “drunk”, but I was getting there, so I, along with a few other people, took it upon ourselves to sit at a table and test drinks. Adriana, myself, Tio Michael, and Tio Shag sat at the table while Adriana’s older brother made and brought us the drinks. I don’t quite remember how many drinks I had or what they were all called, but I do specifically remember having Sex with and Alligator that night.

 

The Parents

            The kids and the teens are pretty ridiculous, but they only learn from the best.

            “What the hell are you doing over there?” I say as I watch Adriana’s mom clean off some pill bottles with her shirt.

            “I have to pay the electric bill, so my brother’s buying them off me so he can sell them,” she replies nonchalantly.

            “But why are you cleaning off the bottle with your shirt?” I ask puzzled.

            “I’m getting my fingerprints off the bottle just in case they try to trace it back to me if he gets caught or something.”

            “Oh, okay,” I claim, as if what was going on was completely legal.

            She puts the bottles into a plastic bag, ties it up, and bands it to me.

            “I need you and Adriana to take it to my brother’s house”. So Adriana and myself, along with Adriana’s two year old niece, take a ride up San Pablo Dam Road to her uncle’s house.

            He comes out of the apartment building with no shirt on and Adriana slips him the plastic bag full of prescribed drugs.

            “Hey, could you do me a favor? Go to MacDonald’s for me? I’m hungry,” Adriana’s uncle asks us with bloodshot eyes.

            “You just finished smoking, huh?” we ask as he smiles a little bit.

            “Yeah. I want a double cheeseburger with no cheese, a small orange soda, and some fries,” he tells us with his eyes closed.

            “Okay Tio,” Adriana giggles as we drive to MacDonald’s.” We get his food and park out in front and wait for him to come back downstairs.

            “Thanks mija,” her uncle thanks her as she hands him his precious food.

 

            These few accounts of my experiences with Mexicans show only a tiny part of what they bring into my life. Mexicans make my life exhilarating at times, they get me into trouble at times, but they can always make me laugh. No matter what, Mexicans will be there for me in times of need and would be glad to take me under their wing. No matter how illegal their actions can get, or how illegal they themselves can get, Mexicans will always be a part of my life because they complete me. And I was born into it, so I really don’t have a choice whether I like them or not.