Conrad and the Chocolate

Chip Cookie Contest Catastrophe

            by James Barnett

 

RING! RING! RING!

 

Conrad's alarm clock made him jump in his bed. “Conrad, it's time for you to get up, you have to go to school.” Conrad could hear his mother calling him from downstairs. He wished she would just leave him alone, after all school isn't that important is it? “Conrad, get down here and eat your breakfast before you're late. Don't make me come up there.” Conrad sighed and rolled out of his bed. He tripped on his superman blanket, and fell flat on his bottom. SMACK!!!

“ I guess wearing Spider Man pajamas doesn't actually make you Spider Man.” Conrad grumbled as he shuffled downstairs rubbing his sore backside.

 

When he got out of bed he saw a big yellow sign on his dresser. “I almost, forgot!” Conrad yelled, grabbed the sign and ran down the stairs. It was a poster for a chocolate chip cookie eating contest. He ha seen the poster on the way home from school, stapled to a telephone pole.

 

 

 He had been so excited when he saw it that he had ripped the sign off of the pole and run home to tell his parents about it. But his parents had ordered a pizza for diner so he had forgotten all about it. Now he ran to show his mother the poster.

“Oh Man, I can't wait! Conrad was now dancing around the kitchen, his sore bottom forgotten,  as his mother read the sign. He was so excited at the thought of being able to eat as many cookies as he wanted that he thought he would burst.

“The contest is tomorrow, so as long as you do all of your work in school today,  we can go to the contest. But if you don't, then you can forget about the cookies. Deal?”

“Deal” Conrad danced his way out of the kitchen and onto the school bus without even changing out of his Spider Man pajamas. He was so excited all day long that he didn't even mind when the other kids laughed at him.

 

When Conrad returned from school that afternoon all he wanted to do was go to bed so that tomorrow would come sooner. He ran upstairs without even saying hello to his mother and father and was under the covers with the light out trying to fall asleep before they knew what was happening. That night Conrad dreamt of cookies, and only cookies. Cookies with chocolate chips, and cookies with M&M's, chocolate cookies, and vanilla cookies, peanut butter cookies and shortbread cookies. square cookies, and round cookies, cookies with holes, and cookies with fillings. No cookie was left out and he ate them all.

 

 

He awoke that morning bright and early. Jumped out of bed and raced downstairs so he could eat a small breakfast before the contest. He wanted to save lots of room for all of the cookies he was going to be eating later that day.  He raced around the house yelling until he finally got his parents out of bed and into the car. They drove for over an hour until they got to a huge fair. The sign out front of the fair said 'Cookie Eating Contest Today, All Ages Welcome'.

“That's me!” Conrad jumped out of the car and started running towards the big tent. He could see many other children just like him all going to the same place. When his parents finally caught up with Conrad he was already standing in line to sign up for the contest.

“Now Conrad, just because you are in a contest does not mean that you have to win. Only eat as many cookies as make you feel good.” His father leaned over and gave him a pat on the shoulder as he tried to give his son some advice.

“Don't make yourself sick honey, just remember that this contest is all for fun.” His mother was smiling at him and taking pictures of him. Conrad was impatiently standing around waiting for the contest to begin. He was not listening to his parents, and was focused only on eating as many cookies as possible in the shortest amount of time as possible.

 

 

Finally the contest began and Conrad took his place at a big table with five other children.

“Welcome, to the 22^nd Annual Chocolate Chip Cookie Eating Contest.” A big fat man with bright red suspenders, and a bald head came walking out onto the stage where Conrad and the other children were sitting. He turned to the kids seated at the table. “Are you ready to Eat!”

“Yeah!!!” The children all screamed yes, except for Conrad. He was staring straight ahead with a serious look on his face. You could tell he was only thinking about the cookies, and how he was going to beat the other kids.

“Alright!, Bring out the cookies!” yelled the bald man. Everybody turned towards the entrance to the tent where five huge plates of freshly baked soft chocolate chip cookies were being brought in on big trays. They were so tall that when they were put on the table in front of the children you could no longer see their faces.

“On your mark, get set, EAT.” yelled the bald man.  As soon as he heard Eat, Conrad dove headfirst into his huge pile of cookies and began sucking them down like a Vacuum cleaner. At first it was a close race. Conrad and two other children were all eating cookies at the same speed. But slowly Conrad began to pull away. He was eating the cookies so quickly that nobody could keep up with him. He grabbed handful after handful of cookies and stuffed them into his mouth. He never seemed to run out of room in his stomach for more cookies. The other children had almost all stopped eating cookies at this point. Only Conrad and one skinny little girl were left in the race. It looked like the girl might actually beat Conrad, but after her 417^th cookie she looked up and fell out of her chair holding her stomach.

“We have a winner!” yelled the Bald man.  But Conrad payed no attention to him. He continued to eat cookies as if his life depended on it. He finished his plate and the moved on to the persons sitting next to him.

“Conrad, stop eating, you're making yourself sick,” his mother screamed at him from the crowd. Conrad could not hear her, he was in a chocolate chip cookie coma. He could not stop, he was still eating cookies like there was no tomorrow. Then all of a sudden there was a huge gasp from the crowd.

“Look he's getting fatter.” Someone from the crowd pointed at Conrad excitedly.

“You must be joking, that's not possible” someone else said.

“No, look, his stomach is growing sideways, I can see it.!”

Everybody turned to look at Conrad who was in fact growing sideways. The more cookies he ate, the bigger he became. He was inflating like a balloon, but instead of air he was filled with cookie dough.

“Conrad stop eating!.” His mother screamed. But he could not hear her, he was in his own cookie filled world. He continued to grow, as he continued to feed on the cookies. He was so greedy and determined to eat all of the cookies that he could not see what it was doing to him. He had become the size of a small house, and was beginning to wobble all over the place. Then with a huge groan Conrad ate the last cookie on the table. He was now a huge ball, with a head, hands and feet. He began to wobble more and more until he began to roll towards the crowd. 

 

 

“Here he comes!” Someone yelled.

“Run!!!” Somebody else screamed.

 

Conrad began to pick up speed and continued to roll out towards the parking lot, squashing a lemonade vendor, and three cotton candy machines in the process. He rolled faster and faster until he was a big blur in the distance.

“Somebody help my baby.” Conrad's mother tried to run after him but slipped in all the spilled lemonade, and slid to a sticky stop in one of the piles of cotton candy.

Conrad rolled faster and father away from the contest, unable to stop himself.

“I wish I had never eaten so much. If this ever stops I promise to never be greedy or gluttonous again. Just make this stop! Just make it stop!” Conrad cried as he bowled along the countryside, passing farms and homes.

A farmer saw Conrad coming straight for his crops, and thought that there was no way that he was going to let this big ball ruin his corn. He grabbed a pitchfork and ran out to meet Conrad. Just as Conrad was going to crush a years worth of corn, the Farmer stuck the pitchfork into him.

POOOOOOOSSSSSH!!!! All of the dough inside Conrad came spilling out, covering both he and the Farmer.

“UGGGHHH.” said Conrad as he returned to his normal size.

“Well boy, I hope this has taught you a lesson.” said the Farmer laughing.

“Yeah, never eat more than you can handle. Otherwise you will end up as a giant ball of dough headed at high speeds for a corn field.” Said Conrad, brushing off some of the dough from his jacket.

“Well that's one way to look at it.” The Farmer said with a twinkle in his eye. “Have some corn.”