Finally Part of a Team
By: Lindsay Guinan p. 3



       I was gripping the metal shaft of my lacrosse stick
as hard as I could trying desperately to bully my
nerves away. The cold wind brushed my cheeks and my
legs as I stepped onto the field. The thud of my
cleats heightened my anxiety and the glaring eyes of
the other team strengthened my desire to win. The
Bishop O’ Dowd’s stands were filling up and the noise
level was increasing by the minute. Last night’s
practice was playing over and over in my head and I
hoped I wouldn’t embarrass myself again in front of my
teammates by the foolish mistakes I had made. I grew
tense and anxious for the game to begin. My older
teammates led the way onto the field. I followed in
their footsteps.
       This was my first year playing Lacrosse on the
Berkeley High women’s lacrosse team. As a freshman, I
aimed to gain my older teammates’ respect by not
getting intimidated by the other teams or challenges I
was going to face and by pushing myself to the limit.
I wanted to show that I was ready to win and to push
myself through a successful first season.


       “SPRINT! DON’T RUN! HUSTLE!” yelled our training and
J.V. coach, Debby.
       “Let’s go! Pick up the pace!” chimed in the
co-captain and MVP of our team, Hailey.
       The wind blew against me and bit at my face and the
exposed parts of my body as I sprinted around the
track; I was not yet warmed up and felt the sting of
the cold air. This week, working hard on exercises and
having more focused practices, was all leading up to a
game against our rivals, Bishop O’ Dowd. On the
repulsive,  worn down and “H.I.V. infested” turf, I
pushed myself to do every last pushup, minute of
holding “the bridge” and yard of sprinting. I did not
want anyone on the team to think I was weak. My
muscles burned like my will to prove it. The lights
went on to illuminate the turf in a florescent white
light that seemed mystic in a comforting way.
       “Ok, get your mouth guard, goggles and lacrosse
stick!” said the head coach, Rebecca.
       Finally, I thought because this meant we were done
with the exercises, for now, and would finally get to
start playing and practicing lacrosse. Stepping onto
the field I thought it necessary to impress my
teammates and coaches by learning quickly about the
game and the strategies planned by the coaches. Every
pass, every catch and every step I took in practices
and at games was vital for me to prove myself.
       “Half of you line up at the forty yard line, half of
you line up at the ten. Start the passing drills and
Hailey you lead the drills,” said Rebecca.
       “Lets start with catching right handed and throwing
left handed,” shouted Hailey.
       I went to the forty yard line and pulled down my
goggles ready to have an intense and successful
practice. Catch, switch to left, pull back, fling. The
ball shot just an inch to the left of my teammate,
Alexia’s head. Embarrassed and relieved I didn’t peg
her in the face, I glanced at the coaches and Hailey
to see if they were looking. The drill was intense,
but not as successful as I  wanted it to be. After the
drill, I had triumphantly  scared the shit out of my
teammates for their lives, or rather their heads
because of my horrible passing during the drill. They
were all relieved when Hailey shouted, “Switch to
practicing defending and dodges." Collecting myself, I
tried to dodge the defender, with a roll dodge that I
learned earlier, thinking it would make up for my
horrible passes that nearly killed Alexia and half my
teammates. I was doing ok; right foot to her right
foot, turn around, left foot to her left foot, roll
out. Until it came to the roll out, I tripped on her
left foot and fell to the charming turf, where a
bundle of hair extensions was waiting for my arrival.
After the passing drills were over, my confidence was
shot. It was discomforting to leave practice feeling
unsatisfied with my performance, especially when an
important game was the next day. A game like Cal vs.
Stanford.
       At 4:00 pm the next day, I was dressed in the
Berkeley High uniform colors; white, black, red and a
dash of yellow. The bus arrived and everyone filed
into the warmth. With the squeak of the gears letting
go of the pressure from the brakes, we were off to
Bishop O’ Dowd. The bus was filled with excitement.
For the first part of the ride we were all in the back
of the bus gossiping and listening to what party the
Seniors and Juniors went to that weekend and what
petty drama broke out.
       “ What? She got with Philip? That’s so strange how
someone like her would end up with someone like him.”
said Orissa.
       “ Yeah I know! She could do better. Maybe she needs
to be more self confident.” said Mimi.
       “ Any ways, anything else happen last weekend that I
missed?” asked Orissa.
When we neared Bishop O’ Dowd the usual cheer to pump
us up before a game broke out.
       “Hey Freshman?!”
       “Yeah?”
       “Hey Freshman?!”
       “Yeah?”
       “Introduce yourself”
       “We are the Freshman (“Yeah”) and we are proud.
(“Yeah”) That’s why we yell (“Yeah”) so very loud. Oh
seven.”
       “Hey Sophomores?!”
       “Yeah?!”
       “Hey Sophomores?!”
       “Yeah?!”
       “Introduce yourself”
       “We are the Sophomores (“Yeah”) and we are proud.
(“Yeah”) That’s why we yell (“Yeah”) so very loud. Oh
six.”...
This continued until the Seniors yelled oh four and
until we all yelled go jackets. After the cheer
everyone seemed confident and excited for the game. We
were talking about how we were going to conquer the
other team as we gathered our equipment. When I exited
the bus, the warmth as well as my confidence dispersed
when I stepped into the moist and cold air.
       The field looked like it was floating above Oakland.
The view of the Bay was visible just above the fence
across the field while the fog drifted lazily in front
of it. I went down the stairs and turned the corner to
be surprised by a sea of blue and green; colors that I
learned to loath. They eyed each and everyone of us as
we came down the long flight of stairs. Damn, this is
awkward. Why do they have to act so intimidating??? I
thought when I walked by to get to our side of the
field. We put down our stuff on the dew speckled turf
as Rebecca called us onto field.
       “Girls, as you know I want to win this as much as you
do. We are playing our rivals so show them that we are
fierce from the start of the game to the end. I expect
you to play at your best and have fun. Ok, one! two!
three!...”
       “Jackets!” we yelled in unison.
       “Lindsay, let’s try you as the Center.”
       What? I thought. Hailey is much more capable playing
center than I am. Did the coach want me to play
because this is some sort of second try out? I was not
only surprised because Rebecca put me in an important
position that Hailey usually played but, I was also
intimidated. I didn’t want to screw up. My words
failed me, I could only mutter a faint and meager
“Ok...”
       “Ok! Let’s get into two lines and do a warm up lap!”
yelled Orissa.
I lined up behind Claire and still couldn’t believe I
was going to play center. The turf was new and clean,
nothing like ours. I ran and thought about what was on
the line for me. I had to do well. I had to contribute
to my team. I wanted to win. The oxygen flowed through
my body and pumped adrenaline in preparation for the
game. As we past the Bishop O’ Dowd team I felt uneasy
because I knew they were a strong team.
       “Last year Bishop O’ Dowd beat us, this is the
Senior’s last year to beat them,” said a senior on the
team, Claire. As if reading my mind, she continued.
“And let’s not get intimidated! We are here to win!”
       “We are here to win,” stayed in my mind as I was
trying to center myself but the sharp tone of Hailey
snapped me back to reality.
       “Let’s go, Lindsay, get your gear. You’ll do fine as
long as you hustle. Remember  the moves that you
learned.”
       I got my gear from my bag and walked to the center of
the field to take the draw. My teammates were setting
up in their positions as well as the other team.
       The crowds gathered in the high stands and their
figures shown vividly against the bright gray sky.
Number 28, a girl who had a much more determined look
on her face, was my opponent. She looked experienced
and stood ready to take the draw. I stumbled to get my
footing right and I knew she saw my apprehensive look
on my face. She looked at me and the glint and faint
smirk said it all; “This girl is so naive. She has no
clue how to play lacrosse. She’s going down, ha ha”
       The ref placed the ball in between the netting of our
lacrosse sticks. This is it I thought. The ref raised
up her hand.
       “Go, Lindsay. You can do it!” cheered various
teammates.
       “Remember to push and pull up!” shouted Rebecca from
the side lines.
       “Yeah! Go, Dragons”
       “Go Jackets!” The stands were wild with excitement
and anticipation for the game to start.
       “Tweet!” the cry of the whistle cut through the air
and the chaotic noises. The beat of the game had
begun. The ball flew up, Number 28’s eyes were
concentrating hard to where the ball had gone. My
teammates went into a flurry around me and my eyes
were locked onto the ball. The ball went shooting up
just above Number 28’s head. Adrenaline pumping
through my body, I jumped. Reaching to the sky, I
grabbed the ball with my lacrosse stick. When I felt
the connection with the ball in my net, I ran. The
turf was soft under my cleats and my heart was leaping
out of my body. I ran up the field, dodging every blue
and green blur I saw. The crowd urged Number 28 to get
the ball back and urged the defense to block my path.
Rebecca went into a eruption of excitement and my
teammates ran beside me. Oh my god, Oh my god! I got
the ball!. Joy and a feeling of accomplishment raced
through my body as I roll dodged and faked right and
left through the blue and green mass. The arc came
into view and I dove in. I cut into the middle. The
goalie was waiting for my arrival. She took up most of
the goal with her bulky pads and goalie stick. She
moved when I moved. She mirrored my dodges and moves
back and forth but, no matter, this was what I would
use against her. I cut one more time to the left; It
worked! She moved exactly where I wanted her to move,
revealing the right side of the net. I propelled the
ball and it soared over her right shoulder. Everything
seemed to stop for a second and a roar from my
teammates confirmed what I thought. I scored?!?!?! I
was exhilarated and stunned with what I had just done.
The clicking sounds of the lacrosse sticks on mine and
the pats on my back was the best sound I have ever
heard. Number 28 looked at me and the glint and smirk
on her face was gone.
       The rest of the game was beautiful. Everyone seemed
to connect with each other in a way that a true team
is supposed to. Everyone seemed to contribute to our
victory and everyone was pleased with themselves and
each other.
       “ Good Game Dragons! Thank you officials! Thank you
fans! Gooooo Jackets!” we yelled after the final
whistle blew. I had walked off the field with a
contribution of three goals and also a feeling of part
of a team.
       I had given my teammates confidence and trust that I
could do my part to push the team towards success. It
had given me the confidence of playing as fiercely as
I could. The next day we did drills on the same
revolting turf, but each ball that was flung out of my
net had a flawless curve and soared gracefully into
the net of my teammates.