Emotionally, I had opened a door into a brighter room and now I wanted to slam it behind me. Jack’s house was only a block away. I hastily left my house without a coat or a hesitation and headed up the street. At the door I knocked two times loudly, anticipation boiling over, moving back and forth on the balls of my feet. It’s gotta be right away, I said to myself, no words, just bam.

      Footsteps behind the door prepared me to square up. Hands clenched at my sides, looking straight ahead, I thought of Roxanna as I heard the door unlock and the handle turn. His Mom.

      “Hi Alicia, is Jack here?” I eased up and smiled awkwardly.

      “Sorry, Fran, right now he’s actually at Sophia’s house.”

      “Okay, I just have to talk to him for a minute. Thanks.” Without waiting for her reply, I headed down the stairs and broke into a run down the middle of the street.

      I had never been to Sophia’s, but it was only three blocks away. The street was extra dark at night, lined with many trees blanking out the moon and starry sky. It was fun being out at this hour, running past any dangers or worries that might jump out along the way. Intent but passionate, my mind was clear and focused. I was happy and vengeful at the same time. Everything would be better now. My run turned into a skip as I turned onto Sophia’s block.

      The house was pitch black on the inside, and the only way to know that it was there was from the dim light on the porch. As I walked up the steps I heard movement on the roof. They must’ve seen me skipping, I thought. I laughed with slight insanity and banged extra loud on the door.

      After a minute of waiting there were light, quick footsteps. I couldn’t square up the same way because the stairs led right up to the door without a porch, so I prepared to step into the door when it was opened. No words, just bam, No words just bam. The curtain window slid slightly to the left; it was Sophia. This time when the door opened I didn’t smile.

      “He’s on the roof,” she said in a way unlike her usual, unkind tone of voice. Her eyes looked sad, searching for answers in mine. At that moment I realized she was just as much a victim as I was. I gave her a look to reassure that all would be better.

      I headed passed her, navigating my way through a house I had never been in, marching through the living room, through the kitchen, and finally to the stairs in the dining room. There were no lights on, but my sense of purpose guided me through the darkness. I reached the top of the stairs. Bam, down, bam, down.

      A window to the roof let in the cool night air. I peaked out cautiously before stepping out of it. Bam down, bam down. No one. I climbed back inside and I saw Sophia’s figure standing in the darkness. Then a door opened.

      Jack emerged from a room with blinding white light. At first he saw Sophia, but stepped back after seeing me. After brief hesitation and slight uncertainty, he closed the door and returned us to the black night. Jack was three inches taller than me, but I locked into the outline of his looming face and it seemed as if we were on level ground.

      DO It! NOW! NOW! Every blood vessel inside me was boiling. Every voice was urging me on. My right hand assumed knuckle form, and my cheering section grew louder. Oblivious to all of this, Jack stuck out his hand to say ‘what’s up, man’. SMACK Him! Do it, DO IT! We were toe to toe. Sophia was right there. Roxanna’s love and infatuation, our friendship, my anger, all these things were balled up in my fist. BAM! Down.

      “Oh, fuck!” Jack put two hands on his face and stumbled back a few steps, smashed into the wall, and fell to the ground. Sophia yelped behind me. It felt like I had hit his nose. I took a few steps forward and stood there, looking at him with his head in his hands, his dignity dripping on his shirt. Goodbye, Roxanna, I thought. It was over.