A Fight to Remember

by Silken A. Brown

It was the first day of school for me as a freshman and I was a nervous wreck all day. Trying to find my classes and dealing with more homework was stressful. Only a few of my friends were in my classes,about two or three in each. Half of my teachers were so nice and helpful and the others were complete assholes. That first week of school was hell for me. Two of my female teachers were bitching at me because I didn't understand the material and the other four were so nice and helped me out. I doubt they remember me now, but its okay. The first day my periods were good, expect my fifth period. Too bad I didn't get a warning about this chick who would end up making my life a living hell. Most of my classmates were really sweet and kind and I got along with everyone, I was just too shy to talk to most people. That day i met this chick though, Reyna Birdlong. She stood about 5'10 or 5'11, really skinny, and the body shape of a pterodactyl.

She was a year and a few months over than me and with my birthday coming up she made me feel like a little child. I'd remember her from first grade when she bullied me, calling me pissy missy because I had a bladder problem and darkie, something that stayed with me for years before I got over it. My mom pulled me out out of Malcolm X when the term ended. She didn't what happened to me to affect my self esteem and how I saw myself. I'd been called darkie or something close to that since I was about 5, each time hurting me more. My self esteem was already low because of my weight, skin color , and how much taller I was to other girls I knew. I took medicine that made me blow up like a macy's parade balloon. Pregnazone was to help my asthma but it also gave me water weight. I went from being this tiny little girl to one of willy wonca's oompa loompa's, at least thats how I felt.

My mom and all of my family members tried to tell me that I wasn't big, just healthy. That only made things worse, plus I was beginning to get darker than most of the people in my family. Every time I took pictures with friends I stuck out like a sore thumb, I was always the darkest girl. I remember one time I was in toys or us with my mom, a woman darker than me came up to us and said, "Your such a pretty girl even though your so dark". That's stuck with me and even now as I high school student. A lot of things people said and did affected how I felt about myself and how I saw myself. For years I always thought that people always saw me as the dark girl or the fatty of the class. Going into high school I prayed that I wouldn't get bothered about anything but I was so freaking wrong.

I guessed she remembered me because the first thing she said to me was "why are you so black?" and "I know you yo hair is weave, it HAS to be." Then she tried to grab my hair but I backed away before she could grab it. Her friend Imariana said "that bitches hair must be fake", while my teacher began her lesson they continued they kept making comments behind my back. Then the bell rang for my sixth period, thank god! I went upstairs with a couple of my new classmates, Mackenzie, Katie, and Claire while being called out of my name. Mr. Angell looked like this strong teacher who wouldn't take any mess from anyone. There were three minutes before class started and everyone easily got along. The bell rang and my nightmare came in the classroom, she stared down at me and called me darkie.

Mr. Angell sent Reyna out and warned her friend to leave me alone. He was my hero and saviour for that period. That didn't stop them much though, they said more things low enough so he couldn't hear them. The bell rang for the end of school and my mom picked me up. She was already in a pretty bad mood so I knew what kind of night I was going to have. I went to bed early because I couldnt take being yelled at for things most teens get into trouble for. Most of the time it was because of the way I write or how I talk fast, sometimes it was because of the race and gender of my friends. I went to sleep that night crying, I didn't really know if it was because of how my mom was treating me or if it was because of the bully I dealt with at school.

The next couple of days things went the same way, my teachers tried to help but it didn't really do much. I dreaded going to fifth period and six period because I knew what I would have to deal with it for the rest of the year. Plus I was dealing with some ex best friends that were spreading rumors about me. A majority were people I had gone to Willard Middle School and betrayed me worse than a lot of people have in a long time. They made me feel like I was alone and I had no friends to count on that year. Now the new friends I'd made that year are still my buds and I can always count on them no matter what. That weekend my mom found out that I was having trouble with her at school. She told me that if i don't beat her ass that I wasn't going to have a 14th birthday party. That totally pissed me off, it wasn't my fault that I had a evil girl bothering me at school.

She took me to my aunts house that weekend and I didn't really know what we were going for. She told me to sit out on the balcony for a while. I went out with my aunts puppy and played with him for a while. I heard them saying that "I don't know where she gets it from, she never sticks up for her self", and "She thinks she's to good to fight, she's just like her father". That totally hurt me, she blamed everything she didn't like about me because of my father. In my opinion he was smart to leave, I just wish he would have took me with him. They told me to come inside and I did, I was kinda nervous because they were both looking over me like two angry lioness. I sat down on the couch as they grilled me about how I wasn't being all tough, how much of a wimp I was, and that people would walk over me for the rest of my life. After a while u get used to hearing these things so you kind of learn to ignore it. Then they had to teach me a 'lesson", my mom came up to me first and yanked me up by my arms, my aunt coming behind her. They kept pushing me around until I tackled my auntie down then started for my mom. That was the first time I'd seen my mom have an ounce of fear from me.

That Monday afternoon I went into my 5th period ready to hurt Reyna. I wore clothes that I wouldn't care if anything happened to them and I'd finally reached my breaking point. I mean anyone would get tired of being bullied right? She bothered me because I was the quiet girl of the class. I didn't really say anything because I was so shy and I didn't know anybody. I went to class that day and for some reason there was some tension in the room, everyone was sitting on one side of the room. I sat 2 rows away from everyone and waited. The guy I was dating and his friends sat close to me they didn't want me to get hurt of to hurt her. Ms. Theodore began her lesson and wrote are new assignment for the week. The next thing I heard was, "Silken! Hella dark" then Imariana said, " Yeah Hella dark!" That set me off, I couldn't take it anymore. I gave my boyfriend my stuff, took off my earrings off, and stood in front of her.

After that I cant remember all of what happened, just bits and pieces. It began with me getting in her face, then she punched me in the face, right below my eye. Then things are kinda blurry for, the fight began and we went in a diagonal line. During this I accidentally slapped my friend Claire in the face. Blows were thrown and things went blank for me, I felt like someone took over my body and fought for me. I felt myself getting hit and the powerful blows I threw. At the end all I could hear is my teacher saying "Silken let her go" over and

over again. It took me a minute because I'd finally reached my breaking point. I was tired of getting picked on and I finally did something about it. The Safety officer took me to OCI where I awaited my punishment. This was my first time getting in trouble and like a nerd I cried in Mr. Ramos's room. I was suspended for 3 days, Reyna only got 2 because she made it seem like it was all my fault, plus she had some broken bones. While we were suspended people in my class spread rumors around involving what happened and who actually one. To this day people still talk about it and if I forget I can always watch it on YOUTUBE. I got a reputation that I am definally proud of because of that one fight. I've heard that I was this monster that tore off Reyna's limbs. What made things worse was that my classmates, well some of them, were afraid of me because of it. It took a little while for people to start talking to me again because they weren't sure if I was just like the very girl I hated. In the middle of the year people began talking to me again.

I hated my freshman year only because of that fight. I always

wonder if I didn't have that fight how would my freshman year have

gone? Well now I can look back on it and see how much I have

matured in the last three years. Now I'm a senior and when people

call me darkie or anything close to that it doesn't bother me anymore

I mean it does get to me but it still affects me. I can walk away from

most things now but I can say that that fight changed me for the

better. I talked a lot more and I seemed happier, now you cant get me

to stop talking.