The New Addition

by Hannah Gradjansky

The doctor ordered her to bed rest. They tried to explain to my four-year-old mind that everything was going to be just fine, but I knew something was wrong because my mom did not play with me the way she had before her stomach began to grow.

We moved into the cottage behind Yoshi and Matthias’s house, so that when the day came we would be close to the hospital. With my friends to roam around with and keep me occupied, I was satisfied and out of my mom’s hair.

As my mom and dad put me to bed, they told me that when I woke up the next morning they would not be there, but Gwen would be. My eyes sparkled with all the ideas of adventures I could go on with Gwen. She worked for my dad and in the meantime had become a family member and a big sister to me, taking me on adventures my parents could not go on.

With all the excitement the next day held, it felt like I could not let my eyelids close, though they hung heavy with sleep. The whole night I squirmed with anticipation. I woke up as the sun was still rising and bolted from my bed into the kitchen. Sure enough, just as my parents had promised, Gwen was sitting at the table sipping a cup of steaming tea. I launched myself onto her lap, strangling her with all my love. Once she was able to untangle herself from my arms, she made me breakfast and a cup of tea just like hers. I seemed like a starved child, the way I gobbled up my bowl of oatmeal and poured the tea down my throat.

“Where are you taking me?” I asked as I bobbed up and down in my chair, like a buoy on rough waters.

“Well, after you get dressed, I was thinking maybe we could read a book or two, go on a walk, and then…”

“Go to hosbitable to see mom!” I blurted.

“And?” Gwen said trying to test my intelligence.

“And Daddy.”

“And?”

My eyes lit up as I remembered the reason my mom had gone to the hospital. “The baby!”

I leapt from my chair and raced to my bedroom. My mind rushed, The faster I get dressed, the faster we read, the faster we walk, the sooner I get to see the baby. I grabbed the dress I had worn the day before and wriggled into it. Running back to the living room I pronounced myself ready. I grabbed a book from the shelf and shoved it into Gwen’s hands, climbing up on the couch next to her.

“‘On the day you were born…’” Gwen read. When she finished the book, I searched the house for my jellies. Once they were on, I was prepared for our walk. I speed-walked for the duration of it. The sooner we are done, the sooner I get to see the baby, I chanted. Before I knew it, we were back to the cottage. A light on the answering machine blinked continually, telling us there was a message. I hit the big round button in the center. My dad’s voice began to play, “Hello! Just calling to tell you everything went smoothly and you can come over when you are ready.”

“Let’s go, let’s go, let’s go!” I demanded.

“I hear you, little missy, but first I have to find the keys and you need to get yourself a jacket.”

I flung open the closet door and slung a pullover fleece from the floor over my shoulder. I marched back into the dining room, past Gwen and out towards the gate.

“Hold your horses there, girly,” Gwen’s voice trailed after me.

“But I want to go now!” I said as I jumped to reach the gate’s latch, which to my dismay was just out of my grasp. Gwen came up behind me and pulled the latch open, so as I threw my body’s weight against the gate, it slammed against the fence. Slipping the key into the door, Gwen unlocked my dad’s big blue Dodge van. I scrambled up into my throne, buckling myself in. Once the doors were closed, and the engine was revving, we were off.

At Macarthur and Broadway, Gwen turned onto a ramp that led up to a roof parking lot. The second the engine was off, I was unbuckled and out the door. With Gwen behind me, I trudged down the stairs and out on to the sidewalk. Gwen grabbed my hand, sensing I was about to dart into the street. Across the road, the red hand changed to the little white man, cueing me to pull for freedom. Inside the electric sliding doors of Kaiser Oakland, we found the welcome desk.

“Good Morning! How can I help you?” asked a woman.

“We are looking for Laura Natkins,” Gwen smoothly said.

“She’s my mom and she had a baby,” I informed the woman.

She pointed up in the right direction. Inside the elevator, Gwen tried to reel me in, “We are going to have to be quiet when we see your mom, because she is going to be tired and the baby will probably be asleep.”

I nodded as her words slid in one ear and out the other. As the elevator door began to open, I dashed out and down the steril white hall, speeding right past my final destination. Gwen beckoned me back towards the room. I zoomed right through the doorway and to my mom’s bedside.

“I want to see the baby!” I belted.

My dad boosted me on the bed so I could inspect the new member of our family. I wiggled around, making myself a spot on the bed.

“It’s a boy,” I said inquisitively noting the light blue blanket.

My mom nodded.

“What’s his name?” I asked.

“We aren’t sure yet,” my parents answered in unison.

Gwen bent over the bed to get a look. All huddled around the bed, my parents and Gwen began to talk as I drifted off into my own world of watching my little brother sleep, fidget, nurse and sleep some more. After a while, I decided it was my turn to hold him. Situated in a big blue chair in the corner of the room, with a pillow under my arm to help support his head, I got the feel of my duties as a big sister. Meanwhile, friends drifted in and out of the room, visiting with my parents and getting a look at the baby.

As the sky darkened outside, Gwen gathered my belongings and made a list of things to bring my mom the following day. I kissed my parents and new brother good night and headed back to the cottage for the night.

Once the sun rose and the birds were chirping, I was up and ready to go back to the hospital.

Nestled back in my spot on my mom’s bed, I quickly returned to my own little world. I can’t wait until I get to help my mom give him baths. When he gets big, we will get to play games. As my parents chatted, I rubbed my little brothers squishy silken feet. The delicate white skin of each little toe began to look bluish. No, people can’t be blue, I tried to convince myself. Slowly his little feet began to turn blue.

“Mommy, he is blue!” I said alarmed.

That one word, “blue”, got both of my parents’ attention. My mom shrieked and the color vanished from her face. My dad lunged for the door, yelling for a nurse. The lactation specialist answered the cry. She ran to my mom’s side, grabbing my brother from my mom’s arms she smacked him on the back and laid him in a plastic rolling bassinet. As she rolled him out the door, my mom rose from her bed for the first time since the c-section and chased after the nurse. Tagging behind my mom, we followed the nurse into a small room with many machines. A group of nurses and doctors quickly assembled around my brother as my mom sat on a stool out of their way, shaking with fear as tears poured from her eyes. I watched wide-eyed as they shoved tubes down my brother’s throat and up his nose.

I tugged on my mom’s hospital gown, looking for answers, “What’s wrong?”

“I don’t know, pumpkin.”

“Is he going to be ok?” I asked, my voice shaking.

“I hope so. Come here,” she said bending down to comfort me.

After EEGs and MRIs, the doctors concluded that sometime between the time he came into the world and the morning on his second day, when a seizure caused him to stop breathing, he had suffered a stroke that affected the left side of his brain. From then on, we received few answers. We learned that he would never be right handed, but most of our questions were left for the future to answer: Would he ever talk? Would he walk, or be in a wheelchair? Would his motor skills be impaired?

Every day for the next nineteen days my parents traveled from our little cottage to the ICU, carting me along with them. I would sit, watching my baby brother sleep, and when he woke, I would try to make him smile as my mom fed him. When I became antsy, the nurses would give me stickers, coloring books and popsicles to quiet me, so as not to disturb the other babies. Eventually, I would be buckled up in my throne headed for the cottage, leaving my brother behind to be cared for by the nurses.

Finally, the day came when the car seat next to my throne was occupied by my little brother, Ivan, for his first ride home. Finally! Now I can play with him whenever I want, because he is mine. All mine.

Epilogue

Things moved slowly for the most part when he was a toddler. He walked early, but did not start speaking until he was two and a half years old. We kept a list on the fridge of every word he said: juice, please, yes, no…

By now, he has made up for the fact that he did not speak those first two and a half years. His next challenge to fulfill is growing taller than I am. Unfortunately for my sake he will soon complete this challenge, moving on to jump bigger hurdles. Nevertheless, no matter how much taller he is, he will always be my little brother. All mine.