Oh That’s Why That’s Why…Wha?

by Jambaldorj Olonbayar

James: bestfriend of David. Always comes up with fun stuff.

David: bestfriend of James also has a secret crush on James. He makes things little bit awkward.

Regina: fine ass girl but dumb as a snail.

Yokomasa: weird Asian dude with weird accent and makes Bob sounds like boob. And mysteriously appears back.

Four friends got together and getting drunk,because James was about to go to the air force. They had one day to talk about whatever they wanted and do whatever they wanted.

James: So yesterday I was at this club, I forgot what the name was but it was dope.

David: Nice so how was it?

James: It was cool. Until this guy came up to me and started to work on me.

David: For real? So what happened? Hahahaha I bet u just sat there and took it.

James: What the hell of course not, so I looked at him said “dude! I aint a chick!” and then he looked at me for a while and said “my bad bro”. i was like what the hell man? What about my pride? What about these 3 hundred people who saw u working on me? And what about the boner I felt? So we gonna fuck or what?

David: what the hell?

James: hahaha I am just messing with you, of course I didn’t say that, but yes it did happen and I did feel a boner.

David: alright, alright. Lets change topic, so have you been seeing new girls, since she dumped you?

James: Yea, I’ve met this girl and we broke up yesterday.

David: Oh shit, what happened?

James: we started dating like 2 weeks ago and yesterday we had this romantic dinner ---

David: so you did her right?

James: Just let me finish. So after the dinner we were butt naked, and then she looked at me and said this is not going to happen. Guess what was the reason was.

David: I give up, wait was it too small? Hahahaha that probably was the reason since you Asians have small penis.

James: hahahah that was the reason. Wait no what the hell? She said I was too damn big.

David: What the? Was her “you know what” that small?

James: No that’s what I am confused about because she had the biggest “you know what” man, big ass goochi .

David: “so you guys where butt naked?”

James: “Yea.”

 David: “and you guys didn’t have sex because you were too damn big, yet she had the biggest “you know what” you have ever seen?”

James: “yea.”

David: “Damn. You know let me see that shit.”

James: “mothefucka what?”

David: “I am just trying to help you out on your penis situation here.”

James: “Nuh bro!”

David: “ok, ok cool, its cool…… no its not cool. Let me see that shit man, you hella gay man you hella gay.”

James: “what? How am I gay? I am aint gay dude!”

David: “ok thn you know that your not gay and you know that I am not gay----

James: “I don’t know that now.”

David: “whatever dude your hella gay.”

James: “how am I gay? Tell me that. You’re the one who is gay.”

David: “dude! Dude! Dude! If I was in a room full of penis, mine would be soft as this bread that I am eating right now! Calling me gay! You’re the one who is gay! Now let me see it!”

James: “dude! How am I gay?”

David: “ i-if if if you were in a room full of penis then your monster ass penis would be hard as this bread I am eating right now. Now David: “dude! Dude! Dude! If I was in a room full of penis, mine would be soft as this bread that I am eating right now! Calling me gay! You’re the one who is gay! Now let me see it!”

James: “dude! How am I gay?”

David: “ i-if if if you were in a room full of penis then your monster ass penis would be hard as this bread I am eating right now. Now let me see that shit bro! let me see that shit bro!

James: no!                                                                 

They were quite for a while looking at each other. Very awkward moment! Suddenly door slams open and Regina walked in.

Regina : OMG! Come on! You guys are drunk again?! And you guys trashed my apartment. Whatever so what happening? Did I miss anything fun?

James: Not really.

Regina : so that what happened?

David: so basically James got worked on by a dude and later on his GF wouldn’t do him cuz he had way too big penis and I wanted to see it.

Regina : wait what?

James:David: oh here he is. Also he is from Japan .

Yokomasa: (starts to speak very fast in Japanese accent.) aro my name is Yokomasa sushi eater Toyota and hoda civics okayyy? But you can all call me Boob.

James: wait what Boob?

David: no he means Bob.

Yokomasa: yes that is what I said. Boob.

Regina : Wait if he is going to be boob and I be Reginae?

David: No-

Yokomasa: my name Boob.

Everybody starts to argue really fast.

Regina : Well why shouldn’t i? it’s a free country—

Yokomasa: boob—

James: yea why shouldn’t she? You sexist bro? You sexist?

 David: No—

Yokomasa: Boob!

Regina: this is my life and my name I should be able to change it.

David: Shut up! You all didn’t come here to change your names! You’re going to be Regina! You’re going to be James. And you’re going to be Yokomasa! And that’s final! Come on people!

James: Sorry.

Yokomasa: sorry, I got to go. My wife just called the rice is cooked.

James: Ok man I will see you around. Oh yea, I saw this video that explains why Chris Brown beat up Rihanna.

David: Hahaha ok then what happened?

Regina : O.M.G! Chris Brown is so sexy! I would do anything for him. I don’t care what he does to me. I love him!!!! Rihanna is stupid this why!

David: Regina you would hook up with anyone with six packs.

Regina : that’s not true! Well … its not true!

James: Whatever! Whatever! Back to my story! Its funny just listen!

Chris comes to Rihanna after his performance, and suddenly Rihanna accuses Chris of cheating on her.

Rihanna: Where were you?!

Chris: At my performance. Duh!

Rihanna: I know you have been cheating on me!

Chris: how can I cheat on you? I was (Chris starts to sing) with you! With you! With you! With you! Girl!

Rihanna: Don’t give me that bull crap!

Chris: what? Whatever, then what about that night you said that you cheated on me? (flashback) Rihanna: (she starts to sing) I know now that he knows that I am unfaithful and it kills him inside.

Chris: Say what?

(Back to present day) Rihanna: don’t try to change the topic! Whatever because you aint getting under this anymore!

Chris: under what?

Rihanna: (She holds up a lamp and starts to sing) under my umbrella, ella ella ella.

Chris: that’s a lamp! God you’re an idiot.

Rihanna: you know what you can leave! I like Justin McCartney anyways! So get in your car (sings) and shut up and drive! Drive!

Chris: Oh no you didn’t!

Rihanna: he wants me and my beautiful soul.

Just as Chris heard what Rihanna said he held up his fist!

Rihanna: Chris no! No! Baby I a sorry, give me a kiss baby!

Chris: (he starts to sing) don’t give me that kiss kiss kiss because I am about to throw you wall to wall and I an transform ya in to a piece of crap! And Ima show it off to the people because you think you’re a model!

Rihanna: wait that’s not even your song.

Chris: how could you!

BAM! BAM!

James: and that how it happened.

David: Wow, I got noting to say except that Rihanna is a bitch!

James: wait! That didn’t even happen, it was supposed to be a joke.

Regina: Yea! Poop Chris ( L ) he must’ve hurt a lot.

Yokomasa: yea!

James: wait! When did you get here?

Yokomasa: I was here for a while. Ninja power!

James: Whatever. Like I said that was not real.

David: it sounds so real though.

Regina: Yea!

James: whatever! Yes does why not? Yes it is real. So bottom up its our lust shot and lust day!