First Impression

By Haley Kleine

CARRIE: 22 years old, engaged to JASON, very pretty, very much in love, from an upper middle class family

JASON: 22 years old, engaged to CARRIE, handsome, very much in love, from a middle class family

KELLY: CARRIE’S cousin, UNCLE MARK’S daughter, eight years old, very loud

SUSAN: CARRIE’S mom, very traditional, a little uptight, rude at times

BILL: CARRIE’S dad, keeps to himself

UNCLE MARK: CARRIE’S uncle

CHRISTOPHER: CARRIE’S parent’s neighbor, a dentist

COUSIN #1: CARRIE’S cousin, a 12-year-old girl

COUSIN #2: CARRIE’S cousin, a 16-year-old boy

COUSIN #3: CARRIE’S cousin, a 14-year-old girl

COUSIN #4: CARRIE’S cousin, a 20-year-old man

(JASON and CARRIE sit in their car, parked across the street from CARRIE’S parents’ house. They are dressed well, but not formally. CARRIE nervously twists an engagement ring around her left ring finger.)

JASON: So, your father’s a Giants fan-

CARRIE: Yes, and even though he hates the Dodgers, don’t say anything bad about them. He thinks it’s bad luck.

JASON: (Sighs) And your mother?

CARRIE: My mother thinks I’m too young to get married. So, we’ll have to wait until the perfect moment to tell them.

JASON: When will that be?

CARRIE: Never.

JASON: Oh…of course.

CARRIE: I’m sorry, I don’t mean to worry you so much. My father will love you and my mother will get over it. Trust me, she’ll be happy for us. Now, can we both just relax and make the most of this weekend?

JASON: You’re right, you’re right. (Takes a deep breath) Let’s do it.

(JASON opens the car door and walks around to the other side to open CARRIE’S door. While she’s waiting, CARRIE removes the engagement ring and places it in her purse.)

CARRIE: Let’s do it.

(They walk across the street to the house. CARRIE puts her hand up to stop JASON from ringing the doorbell)

CARRIE: My parents prefer their guests to knock. And one more thing…

JASON: What?

CARRIE: (speaking quickly) My mother’s going to assume that I’m pregnant. So, we’ll have to reassure her that that’s not the case immediately after we tell them the news. Also, I love you.

(CARRIE knocks on the door, looking pleased. JASON feels overwhelmed once again and is frozen in place. CARRIE’S mother answers the door, wearing a floor length evening gown.)

SUSAN: Hi, sweetie, you’re 45 minutes late. (Hugs CARRIE, then, noticing JASON, smiles) And this must be Jason. He’s a slow driver, isn’t he?

JASON: So nice to meet you, ma’am. (Shakes her hand)

SUSAN: Ma’am? Please, call me Susan. Well, come on in. Your father’s in the den.

CARRIE: (smiles) Of course he is.

SUSAN: Would you two like to bring your bags in before you get settled? I imagine you’ve brought more appropriate clothing for dinner this evening?

CARRIE: More appropriate clothing…for a barbecue?

SUSAN: Oh, no. Your father forgot to tell you. We’ve invited Aunt Katherine and her kids, Uncle Mark’s family, Sandra from next door, and her kids, of course, there’s more, but I just can’t seem to remember right now. Anyways, we won’t be barbecuing tonight. Your father and I decided it would be much better to have a nice sit-down meal with the whole family.

CARRIE: Dad definitely forgot to tell us. We didn’t pack anything more formal than what we’re wearing right now.

SUSAN: (Sighs, leading them into the house) That’s all right. But you did bring a main course, right?

CARRIE: No one told us to…

SUSAN: Right, I’m sorry. We’ll make do. Carrie, I’ve prepared the guest room for you two, although I’d much rather the two of you sleep in separate rooms. (Sighs) Why don’t you get settled in? Dinner is at seven.

(CARRIE and JASON go to the car to get their luggage.)

JASON: What just happened?

CARRIE: I’m so sorry. I had no idea they would invite so many people. I really thought it would just be the four of us.

JASON: You couldn’t have known. Besides, how bad could it be?

(Guests begin arriving around six thirty. CARRIE and JASON have fallen asleep in their room. At seven, KELLY wanders into the room, singing.)

KELLY: Can’t you see that I’m the one who understands you? Been here along, so why can’t you seeeeeeeee, you belong with meeeeeeee? You belong with…(Screams) AHHHHHHHH (Runs out of the room to the dining room where the entire family is sitting at the dinner table.) There’s a boy in Carrie’s bed! With Carrie!!! I saw him!

SUSAN: It’s ok, Kelly. Why don’t you go sit next to your daddy?

(SUSAN goes into the room, where CARRIE and JASON are now awake.)

CARRIE: Oh, mom, I’m so sorry. We lost track of time. We didn’t scare Kelly, did we?

SUSAN: No, she’ll be fine. We’ve been waiting for the two of you to join us; we’re all starving. Please don’t keep us waiting any longer.

(CARRIE and JASON sit down at the table with JASON seated next to BILL. As the lights go out, quiet conversation continues. Lights come up; the meal is over.)

SUSAN: (Stands at the head of the table.) Thank you all so much for coming, especially Jason. I think I speak for everyone when I say that it’s a pleasure to have you here with us.

JASON: (Blushes) Thank you, but the pleasure is all mine. Carrie, you’ve got a great family.

KELLY: Are you guys married?

CARRIE: (Blushes) No, Kelly.

KELLY: Are you gonna get married?

SUSAN: Not for a very long time, Kelly. A very long time, right Carrie?

CARRIE: Uh, yeah. So, anyways, who wants dessert?

JASON: (Awkwardly attempting to bond with BILL) Yeah, who would get married this young anyway, right? I’m my own man. (Gestures to BILL) This guy knows what I’m talking about…(Clears throat) Sir…(Looks around sheepishly as BILL continues to ignore JASON. JASON looks sad and awkward)

SUSAN: What a great idea! (Leaves the room and returns with a large chocolate cake, covered in a layer of nuts) We can all thank Aunt Katherine for this lovely cake.

(SUSAN begins cutting the cake and serving pieces. JASON receives a slice and takes a big bite. He hears a crack and looks pained, unable to open his mouth more than a centimeter)

JASON: (Whispers quietly) Carrie. (CARRIE is laughing at something KELLY said. JASON whispers again, harsher this time) Carrie. Carrie!

CARRIE: (Hearing JASON, she turns to face him.) Yes, sweetie. Is something wrong?

JASON: (Still whispering) I hurt my toof. Can you look at it in the other room?

CARRIE: Yes, of course. (To everyone) I’m so sorry; you’ll have to excuse us for a moment.

(CARRIE and JASON quickly walk into the bathroom attached to the guestroom and CARRIE examines JASON’S teeth)

CARRIE: I don’t see any blood, and all of your teeth seem to be in one piece. What happened?

JASON: (Still unable to open his mouth) I bit the cake and I heard something crack and then it just - OW!

CARRIE: Oh, I’m sorry. That hurts?

(KELLY enters the bathroom)

KELLY: What are you doing? Carrie and Jason sitting in a tree! K-I-

CARRIE: Kelly, Jason hurt his mouth and he would like some privacy. Why don’t you go finish your cake?

KELLY: I already ate my cake. I’m telling my daddy. It’s against the rules to be in a room with a boy with the door closed. (KELLY runs out the door)

CARRIE: Kelly, wait!

JASON: Don’t worry about it, Care Bear. This is so embarrassing, but as long as your parents don’t find out about this, I’ll be fine. I’m sorry I’m not better at first impressions.

CARRIE: You’re terrible at first impressions. I hated you the first time we met, but we’re engaged now. (Smiles) Once they get to know you, they’ll love you almost as much as I do.

JASON: Thanks, babe.

KELLY: (Yelling from the other side of the door) See, daddy! The door’s closed, but cousin Carrie is in there with a boy!!

(UNCLE MARK knocks lightly on the bathroom door)

CARRIE: Come in.

UNCLE MARK: Hey, Carrie. I’m sorry to disturb you. Is everything ok?

JASON: I hurt my toof.

KELLY: Told you she was with a boy!

CARRIE: But we can’t figure out what’s wrong.

UNCLE MARK: Tell you what; Christopher, from next door, is a dentist. Is it all right if he has a look at it?

CARRIE: How’s that sound, Jason? (JASON nods)

(UNCLE MARK leaves and returns with CHRISTOPHER. He’s in his mid sixties. Now, CARRIE, JASON, KELLY, UNCLE MARK, and CHRISTOPHER are all in the bathroom)

CHRISTOPHER: Hi, Jason. Can you tell me what hurts?

JASON: My toof.

(Ten or so cousins ranging in age from 11 to 25 enter the bedroom, pushing their way past each other into the bathroom)

JASON: Oh, great.

COUSIN #1: What’s wrong with him?

COUSIN #2: Is he crying?

COUSIN #3: Carrie, your boyfriend’s a loser.

CHRISTOPHER: I’m sorry, Jason. My eyesight just isn’t what it used to be. Could one of you kids come help me? (COUSIN #4 walks into the bathroom) Thank you. What I need you to do is tell me what you see. For example, are his gums swollen? (CHRISTOPHER and COUSIN #4 continue to examine JASON quietly)

CARRIE: Do you all have to be here? I think Jason would like some privacy.

COUSIN #2: I think Jason would like some balls too…

CARRIE: Seriously, you guys?

JASON: It’s ok, Care Bear.

COUSIN #3: Is he seriously your boyfriend?

COUSIN #2: Did he seriously just call you Care Bear?

CARRIE: No, he’s not.

COUSIN #1: Oh, thank god.

CARRIE: What I mean is that he’s “seriously” my fiancé. So if you guys wouldn’t mind leaving him alone, I would really appreciate it.

KELLY: Carrie’s getting married! Carrie’s getting married! Carrie’s getting married!

(All the guests are in the guest room, looking into the bathroom now, except CARRIE’S parents)

COUSIN #3: C’mon, Carrie. You know you can do better.

COUSIN #2: Dude, she’s pregnant.

KELLY: Carrie’s having a baby! Carrie’s having a baby! (Singing) First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes the baby in the baby carriage!

CARRIE: Kelly, please be quiet!

KELLY: (Gasps) EWWWW!!!! Are you…in love???

CARRIE: Yes, Kelly. I love Jason.

KELLY: That’s yucky; he’s a boy!

(CARRIE’S parents enter the room)

SUSAN: What’s going on in here?

KELLY: Carrie’s gonna have a baby and she’s getting married!

CARRIE: Kelly! I’m not pregnant.

SUSAN: You’re engaged?

CARRIE: Yes. Jason and I are getting married. And I know you think we’re too young, and we meant to tell you ourselves, but then everyone was here and we just couldn’t find the perfect –

(COUSIN #4 punches JASON)

CARRIE: Oh my god! Jason, are you all right? (To COUSIN #4) Why did you do that??

COUSIN #4: He told me to!

CHRISTOPHER: I told him to.

CARRIE: What?

(Jason slowly gets up off the floor, feeling his left cheek)

JASON: Wow, thanks, man. It doesn’t hurt anymore. (JASON notices all the people watching him. He sees BILL last. CARRIE walks over and holds JASON’S hand) That’s right; we’re getting married. (To BILL) That is, of course, if it’s ok with you, sir.

BILL: (Nods approvingly) You sure can take a punch…son.