Superstitions

by Danny Jacobs

Character List

DYLAN: main character, bad things always seem to happen to him

MIKE: main character’s best friend, very superstitious

DYLAN’S MOM: generic mom character

GIRL #1: girl on bus

GIRL #2: other girl on bus

Mr. AL GEBRA: math teacher

CAT: cat

Friday morning. DYLAN is in his room, just waking up. His mom comes in to wake him.

DYLAN’S MOM: Dylan, wake up! It’s time for school.

DYLAN: (Groan) Ugh, just five more minutes, Mom.

DYLAN’S MOM: Get up! It’s Friday, you only have one more day of school. How bad could it be?

DYLAN: Considering the fact that my teacher worships Satan, it’s pretty bad.

DYLAN’S MOM: The bus leaves in ten. Get up before I have your little brother wake you up.

DYLAN: I’m up, I’m up. (DYLAN walks into the kitchen, grabs a glass of orange juice and his backpack and walks out the door).

DYLAN: Later, Mom. (To himself) She probably didn’t even hear me…

(MIKE enters, DYLAN’S best friend and neighbor.)

MIKE: Hey man. Last day of the week. Weekend’s almost here.

DYLAN: ‘Sup dude. Yeah, it’s been a hectic week. Today feels weird though, I just can’t put my finger on why.

MIKE: I can’t say I feel the same. School comes easy to me.

DYLAN: Well, we gotta walk to the bus stop or we’ll be late.

MIKE: True that. (They start walking)

(DYLAN begins to walk but steps on a crack)

MIKE: What the hell, dude!

DYLAN: Uh, what’s the problem? Did I do something wrong?

MIKE: Yeah, you did something wrong! You stepped on a crack. Everybody knows when you step on a crack, you break your mother’s back. Duh man, duh.

DYLAN: Oh, come on Mike. I don’t believe in that kind of crap. I bet my mom’s fine right now. She’s probably watching Desperate Housewives or something only women watch. I’ll show you that superstitions don’t exist. (DYLAN proceeds to jump on every crack he can see.) Ha! See, dude? Everything’s fine.

(DYLAN’S phone begins to ring. He answers it)

DYLAN: Hello? Dad?! What’s wrong?? Mom broke her back?! How? It just broke all of the sudden? Okay. Okay. Alright, I’ll talk to you later. Bye. Dude, my Mom just broke her back! Weird huh?

MIKE: I told you man. When you step on a crack, you break your mother’s back. Should have listened to me.

DYLAN: Pshhh, please. This was a one-time thing. I guarantee you nothing else happens like that. I mean, what are the odds that my Mom breaks her back?

MIKE: Well, she is old…

DYLAN: Hey! Watch it…

MIKE: Sorry.

DYLAN: Well, whatever. We gotta keep walking or we’ll miss the bus.

(As they walk, DYLAN spots a quarter on the ground. The tails side is facing upward.)

DYLAN: Oooohh, a quarter! Maybe this will turn my luck around.

MIKE: Dude! No! If tails is facing up then it’s bad luck. How do you not know this stuff?

DYLAN: I told you Mike I don’t believe in superstitions. Now, I’m going to pick up this coin and I do not care which side is facing up. Got it? (DYLAN picks up the quarter)

MIKE: Okay, fine. But don’t say I didn’t warn ya. (What kind of bad luck should I have happen next?)

DYLAN: (Looks at his watch) Shoot! It’s 10:10! We’re going to miss the bus!

(Both boys run over to the bus stop, but DYLAN stops to tie his shoe.)

MIKE: Dylan, hurry!

DYLAN: Give me a second my shoe is untied. (As DYLAN bends down to tie his shoe, his pants rip near his rear end.) Oh, come on! Great. Just my luck. (As the boys wait for the bus door to open, MIKE notices the rip in DYLAN’S pants)

MIKE: Whoa there, buddy. How’d your pants rip?

DYLAN: I don’t know. But this is embarrassing. (The door opens and they walk onto the bus. Some girls on the bus notice the rip and begin to whisper and giggle to each other)

GIRL #1: Omg… Do you see the rip in Dylan’s pants? LOL you can see his underwear!

GIRL #2: Like, I totally saw it and it was soooo funny!

DYLAN: (Hears the laughter and gives them a mean look. Both DYLAN and MIKE take their usual seats at the very back of the bus.) Now everybody can see my rip. Do you think this has anything to do with the coin I picked up?

MIKE: Uh, yeah I do. But the day just started, you’ll have plenty of time to get your luck back.

DYLAN: I hope so. Well, maybe school won’t be that bad today. Only six periods left.

MIKE: That’s the attitude I like to hear.

(The bus stops at school and the boys get out. They begin to walk to their first period, Math with MR. AL GEBRA)

MIKE: Morning, Mr. Gebra. How’s this lovely Friday morning treating you?

MR. AL GEBRA: I’m not in the mood today Michael, so why don’t you just go to your seat and bother someone else? Sound good?

MIKE: Gotcha. I won’t bother you as much as I usually do.

MR. AL GEBRA: Great. Alright class, take your seats and we’ll begin. Today we’re going to do some polynomials. Who wants to come up to the board and answer this question?

DYLAN: (Looks at the problem and then looks around the class. No one is looking or paying attention so DYLAN offers to answer the question)

DYLAN: I’ll do it, Mr. Gebra.

MR. AL GEBRA: Sure. Go ahead. Amaze me.

DYLAN: Well, this one’s easy. Just do this, and then that, and then BAM! The answer is 666x.

(MIKE looks up in horror as he hears DYLAN say the answer aloud.)

MR. AL GEBRA: Very well done, Dylan. Take note class, this is how you solve the problem…

(MIKE whispers to DYLAN as MR. AL GEBRA continues lecturing)

MIKE: Dude, what the hell?!

DYLAN: What now??

MIKE: The answer was 666x. 666! Don’t you get it??

DYLAN: Uh no, Mike I don’t get it.

MIKE: 666? Like the day of the devil? It could quite possibly be the worst number sequence in the entire world…

DYLAN: …Okay, I get it, it’s bad luck. But it’s not my fault that it happened to be the answer. This could have happened to anyone.

MIKE: But don’t you see a connection? We have to end your bad luck streak before it gets worse.

DYLAN: I don’t think that’s possible, Mike. I just have to survive through the day and everything will be normal tomorrow. Bad days happen to everyone and today is just my bad day.

MIKE: Okay, well good luck with that…No pun intended…

DYLAN: You’re really not helping, you know…

MIKE: Yeah, well, what are best friends for??

(Lights fade to black)

(School is over and Mike and Dylan are now walking home)

DYLAN: Alright. We can do this. No more bad luck. We just have to think positive.

MIKE: What do you mean “we”? I don’t get bad luck.

DYLAN: And how does that work?

MIKE: Because I’m very observant and I notice things people don’t usually see. Like that black cat to your right walking toward you.

(Black cat struts to DYLAN, rubbing on his leg)

DYLAN: What cat? AHH! Shoo kitty!

CAT: Meow…

MIKE: Quick! Find a four leaf clover in the grass. It’ll help get rid of the bad luck looming around you.

DYLAN: Aha! Found one. This is good, this is good. We need more good luck items.

(DYLAN and MIKE continue walking until they stop at a garage sale. MIKE begins searching boxes as DYLAN watches.)

DYLAN: What are you looking for? A leprechaun?

MIKE: Yes, just what you need! (MIKE holds up a horseshoe)

DYLAN: You want me to walk around and carry that??

MIKE: Yes. You have to carry all the good luck items with you or else you won’t get rid of the bad luck. It’s the only way.

DYLAN: Okay, okay. This better work.

MIKE: (Silences DYLAN suddenly) Shhh! Shhh! Do you hear that??

DYLAN: Um, no Mike, I don’t.

MIKE: Crickets! Grab one, those are like, good luck charms to the extreme!

(DYLAN grabs a cricket and puts it in his backpack)

DYLAN: Alright, I think I have enough lucky charms to get rid of the bad luck. What do you think?

MIKE: I think you’re right. This may be the end to your unlucky streak. If only there was one more thing to really end the streak…

DYLAN: …Hey look! A rainbow! Aw, how cool is that?

MIKE: (Under his breath) Perfect…