Toes, Ants, and Goldfish

by Mi-Re Dong

Characters

REBECCA: A ten year old girl who thinks she’s the best, and acts like a smart ass.

MIKAELA: Rebecca’s follower.

CHRISTINA: The girl that does weird things only when Rebecca is looking.

CHLOE: Friends of Christina and Dimitri.

DIMITRI: A very feminine boy.

Scene 1: This play takes place in a classroom with fourth graders. The class sits in a circle on the floor while they take roll and talk about their day’s schedule.

REBECCA: (Loudly whispers) Eww what’s that smell?

MIKAELA: Look at Christina.

REBECCA: Why are her shoes off?

(They both stare at each other in disgust while they watch her observe her feet.)

REBECCA: (In a loud voice) She is starting to pick her toenails.

MIKAELA: Shh… The class is going to hear you.

REBECCA: Good. She shouldn’t even have her shoes off in the first place.

(Rebecca and Mikaela watched Christina slowly lift her foot to her mouth and rip off her hanging toenail.)

REBECCA: Does no one see this? (She screams to the class)

(The class looks at Rebecca and their eyes follow to Christina. Christina has her shoes on and was sitting up straight with a smile.)

CHRISTINA: Why is everyone staring at me?

TEACHER: Oh nothing Christina… (Turns to Rebecca) Rebecca, are you okay?

MIKAELA: Yeah don’t worry she’s fine. She must of … of been up late or something.

REBECCA: (Stares at Christina is disgust) Umm yeah, everything is fine. (She looks around in confusion)

Scene 2: Lunch begins.

REBECCA: Am I going crazy? You saw Christina biting her toenails right?

MIKAELA: I did! Rebecca, don’t think about it. It’s time to eat!

(Christina, Chloe, and Dimitri walk past Rebecca and Mikaela towards the other side of the fence. They are holding scissors, tape, and white paper.)

MIKAELA: Hey. What are you guys doing?

CHLOE: We can’t tell you now but if you want you can come with us and find out.

(Rebecca kicks Mikaela and shows her that she does not want to go.)

REBECCA: (Turns and whispers in to Mikaela’s ear) They still eat their boogers. Lets just stay here.

(Rebecca looks up at Chloe.)

REBECCA: We are fine where we are. Thanks though I guess.

MIKAELA: Umm… I want to go! You can stay here then, I’ll be back.

(Mikaela packs up her lunch and shoves it in her backpack and she quickly gets up to follow them. Rebecca stares at her best friend and jumps up to follow.)

Scene 3: The five kids are on the other side of the school playground. Dimitri starts cutting the papers into small rectangles, while Chloe rolled and taped them.

MIKAELA: (Said with curiosity and amusement) What are you guys making?

DIMITRI: (Putting his hand in the air and rolling his eyes) We are making butts. Duh!

REBECCA: What the heck are butts?

CHLOE: You know, cigarettes.

DIMITRI: (Turns head quickly to Rebecca and stares) We’re smoking now so when we’re older we won’t want too. (Turns head back down and resumes cutting the paper)

REBECCA: You guys are fucking freaks. I want to go Mikaela.

MIKAELA: It might be fun to smoke, my brother told me he gets “high” from smoking.

REBECCA: You’re stupid. They aren’t actually going to smoke. You only get a “high” from smoking trees, like tree bark. My brother told…

(Rebecca stops and sees Christina picking up ants and eating them.)

REBECCA: Eww ‘freak’ what are you doing?

CHRISTINA: Umm… listening to you?

(Dimitri and Chloe stop what they are doing and look up at Christina and then Rebecca.)

CHLOE: Rebecca, why are you so mean? She’s just sitting there!

REBECCA: She was picking up ants and eating them!

CHRISTINA: No! Eww who does that?

MIKAELA: Rebecca, maybe you should leave now.

REBECCA: You better be coming with me! Or you can walk home.

DIMITRI: Don’t worry Mikaela, I’ll have my mommy drive you home!

REBECCA: Fine! We are o.v.e.r. with a capital O!

(Rebecca grabs her lunch and while she tries to get up she drops her sandwich on the ground. She pretends not to care and walked off.)

Scene 4: Rebecca walks the halls of her school while her stomach growls. When she reaches her classroom she sees the snack box outside her class. She looked around and no one was in sight. She slowly opened the box to find a gigantic bag of goldfish. Before she knows it she’s on her knees stuffing her mouth with goldfish. After her mouth if filled with goldfish she looks up and sees Christina and Mikaela walking up. They didn’t notice her yet so she franticly searched for the lid of the snack box. It was too late and they finally reached her.

CHRISTINA: OMG! Rebecca what are you doing?

(Mikaela looks at Rebecca in embarrassment not knowing what to say.)

REBECCA: (With a mouth filled with goldfish and the lid in her hands) I’m tryn poot on tha liid.

CHRISTINA: What did you say? I think you should finish all that goldfish.

(Rebecca gets all teary eyed and slowly swallows the food in her mouth.)

MIKAELA: So what were you doing?

REBECCA: Umm… I was walking by and the snack lid was off so I was just trying…

CHRISTINA: So you stuffed your face with goldfish?

REBECCA: I did not!

CHRISTINA: You’re the fucking freak.

(Christina walks away with a smile while Mikaela slowly follows.)

Scene 5: Dimitri walks towards Rebecca.

DIMITRI: Oh girl! You look pathetic. (Flips his hand upwards.)

REBECCA: Go away!

DIMITRI: Honey, I just saw everything that happened. I would of smacked Christina and Mikaela’s chubby cheeks.

REBECCA: Leave me alone! I know you don’t even care.

DIMITRI: Who said I cared? Just don’t let this get you down. Karma comes around. But you shouldn’t eat your feelings, you will get cellulite on your butt!

REBECCA: Umm…

DIMITRI: It’s just some advice. (Blows a kiss to Rebecca.)

(Dimitri walks down the hallway acting like he’s a model on a runway.)

Scene 6: Rebecca gets up from the ground and looks outside the classroom window. She sees Christina and Mikaela on the woodchip playground. Rebecca watches Christina pick up a woodchip and starts picking up poop with it.

REBECCA: OMG! What is she doing?

(Rebecca keeps watching and sees that Christina starts chasing Mikaela with the woodchip and poop.)

REBECCA: HAHA! Oh well.

(Rebecca walks away from the window and sits at a desk and starts her homework.)