My brother and I have been tight for as long as I can remember. Growing up we didn't have much... especially after our mom left our dad for a carnie. No seriously dude, these freaks called the Balloon Troop came into town for a week and my Mom left Dad for a French dwarf named Jon-Pierre. I'm just kidding. For the most part we had a pretty great childhood growing up. Our parents raised us to have each other's backs, plus we were only a year apart. Micah and I went through all of the same schools, had the same gang of friends, played football, dated the lovely West twins, and got loaded for the first time. We even got arrested, accidentally shooting old man Chester's cat. All of these things we did together. After our senior year though, Micah decided to enlist in the Marines since his grades weren't too good. I got accepted into Sac State. I chose to continue school instead of join my big brother. Fast forward 8 years and 5 months and we've arrived at my house.

(Knock on the front door. Jesse answers)

JESSE: Look at this guy! All big and bearded, how you been Big Cub?!

(Embrace one another)

MICAH: What’s up Little Cub?

JESSE: Here let me help you out with those bags.

MICAH: Thanks man. I’m wiped! Don’t mean to be so abrupt, but you think you can show me to my room now? I need to rest for a bit.

JESSE: (Confused) Er- yeah, sure man but y-you just got here. Don’t you want a tour of the house, you know, catch up with your little brother? Darlene and the kids are on their way home from a game.

MICAH: Little Cub with a wife and kids, love it! I don’t want them to meet their famous Uncle Mic drained like this. Lemme charge my batteries. (Ruffles his hair) We got the whole weekend for all the sentimental bonding.

JESSE: (Playful punch in the chest) Screw you dude, we haven’t seen each other in nearly a decade.

MICAH: Let me just take a quick nap.

JESSE: Well alright if you insist. The guest room is upstairs, 2^nd door to the left. Did I mention I have a wife and kids?

MICAH: Just a quick nap Little Cub.

(Next day)

DARLENE: He’s been asleep for like 26 hours; don’t you think we should check on him now?

JESSE: Alright.

(Enter Micah’s room)

JESSE: Hey Big Cub, you in here?

DARLENE: Where’d he go?

JESSE: Maybe he stepped out while we were asleep. His bag is still here.

DARLENE: But I set the house alarm before we slept dear. He would have set it off had he opened the door.

JESSE: Wait a minute, the window is open…

(The couple walks over to the window, only to find Micah shirtless laying on the rooftop)

JESSE: Hey bro, what the heck are you doing?

MICAH: (takes headphones out) Hmm, what? Oh morning folks!

JESSE: Why are you on the roof man?

MICAH: (chuckling) You know, just wanted to soak up the morning sunshine!

(Quickly sits up and leaps into the room)

MICAH: And this must be Darlene, come here!

DARLENE: (Puts out a hand to shake his) Nice to finally I uh-

(Micah picks her up with a bear hug)

DARLENE: Mic, I c-can’t breathe

MICAH: Love hurts sometimes, just gotta stand it. Just kidding! (Puts her down) I’m just so glad to finally meet you. Dude, your wife is H.O.T. hot! Muy caliente…

JESSE: (Uncomfortably) Thanks for noticing…

MICAH: So who’s up for some breakfast? I was one of the meanest cooks in Iraq and wasn’t even Chef.

DARLENE: Micah, Saturday mornings I make pancakes with the ki-

JESSE: (nudging Darlene in the ribs) Sounds great Big Cub. In fact, sweetie go wake up the kids right now. They’ve were dying to meet you last night.

(In the kitchen. The whole family is at the table)

DARLENE: These hash browns aren’t half bad.

MICAH: Thanks toots.

JESSE: So, um, kids what do you say to your Uncle Mic for making this awesome breakfast?

YANI & MORRIS: Thank you!

MICAH: Don’t mention it little guys.

YANI: I’m not a guy silly!

MICAH: Get the hell outta here! Wait a minute… Of course, my little princess, I knew that! I was only joking.

MORRIS: Oooooh! Mommy he said a bad word.

DARLENE: Uncle Mic said it on accident, right Uncle Mic?

MICAH: Hell isn’t a bad word.

JESSE: Right Uncle Mic?

MICAH: Oh yeah! My bad kids. So, who’s up for some war stories?

YANI & MORRIS: Me!

(Micah and the kids exit)

DARLENE: What’s wrong with him?

JESSE: What are you talking about?

DARLENE: He thought Yani was a boy for start, and toots? What year are we in again? I’m pretty sure he was checking me out earlier…

JESSE: Micah means well dear. Keep in mind; he’s not accustomed to being around family and stuff. Give him some time to adjust.

(Morris enters kitchen)

MORRIS: Daddy I’m confused.

JESSE: About what son? Tell me.

MORRIS: What are hooters and what does “gouging eye balls out” mean? Uncle Mic said he was friends with a pirate named Captain Morgan during the war. Is that true?

(Stage fades to black)