Sunday Morning

by Adriana Jones

Sunday mornings were always the worst, I thought to myself as grandma Jeanie came in banging on a pot trying to wake me and my sister up for church.

“Get up now or we are going to be late,” she said.

Like every Sunday she moved through the house like a jack rabbit. Any other day it would be hell to get her to get up to do anything. In the midst of grandma trying to wake us up, here comes Cousin Joy just as excited as grandma. My cousin Joy was a pain in the ass. Ever since I could remember she has been messing things up for me. When we were little Joy used to spend the night and me and Joy would have to sleep in the same bed and every time she would pee in my bed, and every morning I would get in trouble all because of her.

“Come on you guys hurry up I want to make it to the eight o’clock service so I can go to Sunday school afterwards,” she said.

“When did you get here?” I say.

“I got here about 7, my mommy and daddy are going to meet us there,” she replied.

Either she knew or she didn’t know but she got under my skin she was always so freaking happy. My sister Kelly and I finally got out our beds and washed our faces and brushed our teeth then got dressed. After we were all dressed up we went down to eat a breakfast of pancakes, scrambled eggs, and bacon with a glass of orange juice on the side. That was what I enjoyed most about Sunday’s the great big breakfast grandma would cook before we went to church.

“Can ya'll eat any slower dang I’m ready to go,” annoying Cousin Joy came into the kitchen and said.

“Aren’t you going to eat,” my sister Kelly said to her.

“Nope I ate while you guys were sleeping,” she said back to Kelly.

“Don’t you have something else to do you bugging the crap out of me,” I said.

“Nope that’s why i'm here messing with you,” she said.

I wanted her to leave so bad I just didn’t know how to make her do so. That’s when I saw the water sprayer at the sink. I picked it up and told her if she didn’t leave me alone I would spray her.

“You wouldn’t,” she said.

“You don’t know that so I suggest you get out of here and leave me and Kelly alone,” I say

“You know how I know you wouldn’t do it Jamal?”

“How?”

“Because if you did I would call grandma and you would get in big trouble,” she said.

“If you leave now we wouldn’t have to result to this,”

Joy continued to talk and annoy me and before she could fully get out the kitchen I squirted water all over her. I stopped once she was covered head to toe in water.

“Grandma, Jamal just sprayed me with the water sprayer,” she screamed out.

My grandmother jetted into the kitchen as fast as she could and saw me holding the water sprayer and saw joy covered with water crying about how she hated me for spraying her with water.

“Why did you have to do this Jamal?” grandma screamed I could tell she was mad.

“She was bothering me and I told her once to leave me alone but she didn’t,” I said.

“Just for that you have to dry her dress and socks with the blow dryer,” she said.

“Yes ma’am,” I said.

When I got into the bathroom with the wet dress I thought had to use the bathroom so instead of peeing in the toilet I peed all over her dress and then began to dry. After a while grandma came into the bathroom and said you still aint finished drying the dress?

“No ma’am this is a lot of dress to be drying with a blow dryer,” I said.

“Well it’s starting to get late anyway so ill just go put the dress in the dryer,” she said back.

Ok I said as I thought about how bad Joy was going to smell once her dress had completely dried. A few minutes later her dress was dry and she went to put it on when she finally got into it the dress was ruined it had many water spots and it smelled horrible. All the while that she was crying and pouting I was in the background laughing. When joy and my grandmother yelled out in unison stop laughing it’s not funny.

“Jamal what did you do to this dress? It smells like you pissed on it did you pee on this dress while you were supposed to be in the bathroom drying it.”

“No ma’am,” I lied.

Joy didn’t have anything else to wear so my grandmother made her walk around in a pissy dress. When we got to church nobody wanted to sit next to her and the whole time I was laughing and pointing at her. Once church let out I was still laughing at her and she began to cry its not funny and then she began to chase me around but she didn’t see a pile of poop in the grass and so she stepped in it then she stopped and yelled out I hate Sundays and I thought to myself I love them.