Big Blue

by Koji Jagust

“You go this way I’ll go that. Watch out!” I was interrupted by a clump of paintballs flying through the air and splattering across a tree, covering it in red gooey liquid. “Phew that was close,” Patrick said. “Come on this way.” Patrick and I ran toward the red flag that was just peeking over the small hill before us. The sound of dry leaves crunched beneath our feet as we climbed up. A giant wooden castle appeared once we reached the top of the hill. The castle was splotched with neon pink and blue with only little wood showing. “There they are!” Donnie yelled while pointing at us. Donnie stood out, as he wore his usual tie-dye pants whenever we would go paintballing. Paintballs flew all over the place, skimming around our ankles. We started closing in when Donnie and a couple other guys emerged from the front of the castle castle. Everything was a blur. But then as clear as day I heard. “Puppupuput…. Ahhhhhhhhhh!” Donnie screamed out. He keeled over in fetal position with his hands covering his crotch. I shot him without even realizing it. Right in the balls. I guess it was hard not to, as his tie-dye pants made a diamond pattern like a target, right on his “area”. We all stood around him. He was curled up and trembling. After a while he was still in the same position and groaning. We all thought something must be wrong. Once I got a little closer to see what was wrong, I noticed it. A hole, right in the middle of the diamond over his crotch. I leaped back surprised. “Oh man it went through!” “What?” Patrick asked. “The paintball, it went through his pants.” “Ohhhhh,” the whole group of guys moaned. “Hey he’s got blue balls,” Some guy in the group joked. Blue liquid then started to slowly ooze out of the hole. “I-I-I can’t f-f-feel them,” Donnie stuttered. “Come on we should take him to the hospital. Patrick can we take your car?” “Umm okay.” I slowly lifted Donnie up and carried him out to the parking lot. Patrick was already in the car. I put Donnie in the back and we were on our way. While we sped down the road toward the hospital all the sudden Donnie said. “I gotta piss.” “What. How do you…..Umm can you hold it?” “Naw, it’s hurting more when I hold it.” “Okay, Patrick pull over. No one is around, he can pee out there.” I picked Donnie up and stood him up. But he could only squat. He was just squatting there staring. “I thought you had to pee.” “Can I get some help.” “What no, no.” He gave me a look and turned around. He bent down to try to pull his pants down, but he grunted and grimaced with pain. I started to walk towards to help when all of the sudden, a bluish yellow liquid came pouring out of his pants. Through the hole. After he shook out the last couple droplets of blellow liquid I carried him back to the car and we were off to the hospital. As soon as we got there we ran straight into the emergency room to find it packed. We rushed up to the receptionist and told her Donnies problem. “Come on! Just look at him.” “He got shot. In the balls!” Patrick added She wasn’t budging and then I lifted Donnies crotch up to the window and showed her. “If this isn’t a code blue situation then I don’t know what is!” She jumped back and pointed us toward a nurse. We followed the nurse to a room. I put Donnie down on the table and the nurse took a look inside his pants. “Oh. It hardened,” The nurse said “What?” Me and Patrick asked “The paint.” “Oaaah,” Donnie groaned. The nurse then reached into a cabinet and pulled out a sponge. “In order to see what’s wrong with your testis I am going to have to scrub off this paint,” The nurse told us. Donnie looked up to me with wide open eyes full with fear. “Maybe you should hold his hand while I do this,” the nurse said. As soon as she touched Donnie he flinched back. She then told me and Patrick to restrain Donnie as she scrubbed. I held Donnie’s upper body while Patrick was holding his legs. It was not pretty. Donnie was kicking and screaming. I could not imagine the pain he was going through. After it was over the nurse covered Donnie’s lower half with a sheet. Once she left is when we noticed it. It seems that the sheet the nurse put on Donnie before, has now morphed into a tent. “Donnie,” I said. “What I can’t help it, you would do the same,” Donnie replied. “Hey she’s coming back,” Patrick said. “Uh what do I do,” Donnie nervously said. “Try to think about something different.” “Your grandma,” Patrick added. But it was too late when she came in she detected it right away. “Well your buddy is not going to like this.” She said while pulling out a shower head. She went on to spray off the blue paint remains. “Ohh. Th-tha-that’s cold.” Donnie stuttered as he shivered. The tent slowly flattened. She took off the cover in order to take a closer look, and that’s when we saw how bad it really was. “Where are they!” Donnie screamed. His balls were gone. “They’ll come back. They are probably just still retracted.” The nurse said. “We are going to put a small cast over your ‘thing’ because of the intense bruising that has occurred. So what color would you like?” “He’ll take blue” Patrick and I blurted out.