World Peace

by Zakary Altenberg

Once upon a time there was a guy named Richard Pequeno. He loved to fish. His favorite meal was tuna, in a taco. Pink fish taco, it was his favorite and his wife knew it. She had it for him every night when he got home after a long day of fishing. He would gobble it all up and when all the juice was gone he would just relax. He loved to relax. That is probably why he loved fishing. He would fish, fish, and fish some more. He was something like a pro fisherman, a master baiter: Master of baiting fish. He would bait all day, and it made him feel good.

His love for fishing really was the center of his life along with his wife. He knew how to gut a fish with a blunt knife. All the fishing kept him away from any strife. Richard Pequeno wanted a peaceful world. He wanted a world where anyone could walk down the street in the hard areas of town, where anyone could walk down Wall Street, where anyone could bait, whenever, where ever.

“Hey, Sonya. What should we do with our lives? How should we make them meaningful?” he asked his wife one afternoon.

“I am not sure Richard. Maybe life is about nothing, but just enjoying your time with other people,” Sonya answered.

“No, no, there is more to life then baiting and eating fish, I do enjoy those things but lately out on the boat, when I am all alone baiting, I start thinking to myself, ‘Is there something more I could do?’ That question haunts me,” Sonya was taken aback by this statement. Sonya was not the smartest wife and Richard knew this. She was 5’7, an inch taller than Richard and had never gone to college. Richard had never gone to college either. They lived off of Richards fish sails in the market. He baited all day long and had the best fish. He had all types of fish, red fish, blue fish. He boasted about co-writing with Dr. Suess. “What should I do Sonya, how should I make the world more peaceful?”

Sonya looked at him thoughtfully and said, “Richard Pequeno, you should share your love with world. You should start an organization.”

“What kind of organization should I start?” he asked, stumped.

“Well you have your fish market, and you believe in people walking down wall mart and smoking weed legally, you should really start a peaceful organization,” she said.

“Okay Sonya, I will. I will start an organization called, Baiters for Peace!” he declared. They kissed, a romantic kiss, and then she already had dinner ready for him and watched him eat the delicious pink fish taco. In the morning he had some left over pink fish taco and then got to work. He made a few phone calls to some fishing friends; Michael Lit, Seymour Richards, and Ivan Horing. They all seemed really interested in joining the Baiters for Peace, and being experienced at baiting big ones, Richard was excited to have them onboard. Next Richard realized he needed a sponsor so he called Bass Pro.

“Hello, this is Bass Pro Shop, you are speaking with Craig, how may I help you?”

“Hello Craig, this is Richard Pequeno, a fisherman from North Carolina. I was wondering if you could give me a sponsorship.”

“Well Mr. Pequeno, I am sorry but I am just and employee, I don’t know about all that,” replied Craig.

“Then, may I speak with the manager of the store?” asked Richard.

“I am the manager Mr. Pequeno,” said Craig.

“But you just said you were just an employee,” said Richard slightly confused.

“Well, yea can I put you on hold.”

“Wait –

Recorded voice, “ Thank you for calling the Bass Pro Shop –

Richard hung up the phone really confused, why did they an employee who was also the manager and why had they not wanted to give him the sponsorship. Then he realized that he hadn’t told them why he wanted a sponsorship. He was about to call back when he started wondering why he needed a sponsorship. After concluding that he didn’t he decided it was enough for one day and headed out to the Chattooga River, one of the most prestigious fishing rivers in North Carolina. Driving in his truck listening to some jazz, he really got in the mood to bait. He couldn’t wait to get out on his boat, just him and his rod, baiting until sun down. He loved the privacy of his own boat.

Out on his boat, he baited until he was satisfied and put his rod away. He leaned back as the sun was setting and fell into deep thought. He wanted to spread peace and make a big impact on the world. He decided he needed to get a move on it. Richard boated to the dock, hopped out, tied up, secured his rod, and ran to his truck. He had a grand idea to get the president in on it. Mr. Obama was big on change and so Richard realized Mr. Obama would probably be down with peace. Richard wondered who would not be down for peace and realized he was a genius for coming up with this plan. He called the President and a secretary picked up. He asked to talk to Mr. Obama and Obama picked up the line.

“Barack here, hello?” Obama said.

“Barack Obama President sir, it is Richard Pequeno calling to tell you about my great idea, can you there at the White House help me?” Richard asked.

“Yes we can. Here at the white house dreams become reality, with me in office. What is your great idea?” Obama replied.

“To create world peace!”

“That’s… amazing.” President Obama was definitely in awe.

“Can you help me?” Richard asked again.

“Yes we can, what do I do?” Obama replied.

“Just come on over to North Carolina, I am starting Baiters for Peace! All we do is bait all day instead of fighting and warring.”

“Sounds incredible bro, I, Barack Obama will be there.”

“By President see you soon.”

Sure enough the next week started with a bang. It was the opening of Baiters for Peace. Richard went to the river early with a bunch of buddies and they just started baiting together. All sitting in a circle, they tried each others rods out, traded techniques and had a grand time. Around noon they all got real excited because that is when Barack Obama said he would be arriving at the river.

Sure enough, at 12 arrived 12 secret service trucks with boats on the back and they lowered the boats into the river. One boat had a huge flag that read mission accomplished. Then Obama arrived in his Hummer, towing a nice fishing boat. Obama lowered it in himself. The river was suddenly getting a crowd. About 16 boats were around with Secret Service men baiting in them. The president, Mr. Obama had invited Richard on to his boat together and they were baiting away. Richard was amazing at how well Mr. Obama handled his big rod. After baiting for a little with Richards own rod, he had to ask Mr. Obama if he could try out that big rod. It was a once in a lifetime opportunity. As Richard was thinking about asking Mr. President Obama, the lake was filling up and news stations had arrived. The camera boat came over to film Obama baiting and what a site it was. On camera Richard decided to ask the President the big question.

“Mr. President can we bait with each others rods?” Richard asked nervously.

“Yes we can!” Obama responded.

It was the best day of Richard’s life. He baited till he had no more juice and was ready to crash. By the end of the day the river had filled up with thousands of people all baiting for peace. There were soldiers there who had put down their guns to bait. There were men baiting. There were kids baiting for peace. There were women baiting with fishing rods. Everyone was baiting together. It was a huge community of peace. Baiters for peace had really turned into something Richard couldn’t have dreamed of.

At the end of the day everyone was tired but content. They had all worked their rods really hard, and everyone definitely needed some food. Richard’s wife supplied pink fish taco for all. It was a grand feast and everyone went to sleep on the river. The next day the hype didn’t die down. There were more baiters. There were more baiters every day, and in the end Mr. Pequeno, short little Mr. Richard Pequeno, created world peace with his great idea. Obama presented the Nobel Peace Prize to Richard that year and made a little speech.

“When Richard called me with this Great Idea baiters for peace, I was blown away. It was insightful, it was change. It’s rare that a man comes along with such a great idea. That first day of Baiters for Peace, me and Richard both baited with one another’s rod and it was a true bonding experience. I am so glad I was able to be a part of something so amazing. Then for dinner his wife Sonya was so generous, and I delved in some of the best pink fish taco I have ever had. I campaigned a slogan Yes We Can and Yes we did!” the crowd roared, “Now there are Baiters for Peace everywhere and really, what could one enjoy more than baiting? This is for Richard Pequeno, creator of World Peace!”

He handed Richard the Nobel Prize and Richard Pequeno never had to sell fish again.

THE END