Dreams I’ve Had

by Aaron Weisberg

I heard my clock tick as the end of the last day of my job neared.

“Are there any fragile objects or hazardous substances in your box?” I asked the customer.

“No sir.”

“Okay, great. Your package will be arriving at its destination in the next three to seven days. Have a good night ma’am.”

I said a final goodbye to my coworkers and walked out the door. I’ve saved up enough money so that I can do something new with my life. Now I just need to figure out what it is I want to do.

I took a turn down Nalin Avenue and walked into the Chetana Theater. There was going to be a lecture on Environmentalism and Shamanism. Only a couple dozen people showed, so I sat down in the most centered front seat of the Parterre and prepared my brain to soak up the new information.

As the lecture ended, my brain juices were sloshing around. The lecture they gave was brilliant and got me really thinking about my life. Do I become another insignificant environmentalist holding the ideals of a better society by trying to change the almost impenetrable fundamental laws of our culture? Or, do I try and move away from the ubiquitous presence of society to the deep forests of New Zealand and appreciate the wonders of nature with the guilt that this beautiful world might not be available for my kid’s? My life had just become a clean slate and I knew I had to do something involving nature but the choice was too tough.

I felt the fatigue of working all day when I got home. The meditating Buddha statue on my dresser held his eyelids infinitely shut, while I drifted into sleep.

My eyes open in a moist jungle. Rays of light tickle the slowly moving ground. I blink. Millions of snakes surround my feet, each with its own distinct pattern and coloring. Are they dangerous? They hug my shoes but don’t bite or constrict. I quickly try to step forward but the snakes wouldn’t budge and I didn’t want to crush them. As my vision started to widen my surroundings became even more overwhelming.

Brightly colored amphibians hang from what looked like an Ayahuasca vine. Ahead of me is a circular hole in the thick jungle forest. I should get to that opening.

I slowly step forward, nudging each snake to the side. After a couple of these tedious steps they start to move without my physical touch.

When I finally come to the clearing beyond the trees there are miles of sand dunes surrounding a crystal clear lake. At the other side of the lake, I can barely make out a black patch in the sand. It moves around the lake and as it gets closer I realize it’s a tiger. He gracefully strides toward me and sits down on its hind legs right in front of me. Smooth, gray vertical stripes overlay his black fur. A loud roar emits from his throat and our glacier blue eyes meet.

Images flash by. Things and people that I barely remember from my past.

When the pictures stop I appear in a holy cathedral. The nave extends hundreds of feet in front of me and the clerestory is composed of thousands of beautiful stained glass windows. I’m soaked in colorful light. The west end door opens and closes with a crash as the Pope walks in.

“So, what is it that you wanted to talk to me about?” he asked.

“Um. Well.”

“Be specific,” he said sternly.

“Why are you against population control? By 2050, there will possibly be 9.2 billion people on this planet if we don’t do something to change that now. With that many people, there will be only enough food to sustain half the world’s population. Half the world will be starving. And with starvation and malnourishment, disease will spread and billions will die. Yet, still, you are against birth control, against abortion, and you’re for large families. This is not including the catastrophes of climate change that your people choose to ignore or say doesn’t exist.”

“The message of God is complex and we do not always understand his intentions, but his words are clear. He has told me we must spread the word of The Lord Jesus Christ and the Lord. With more children, our beliefs can spread more rapidly and many can be saved. You must realize that the real holy and eternal world is not earth, but heaven.”

“But why can’t we live in a world of harmony between the earth, people, and your religion? Why must you cut the earth from beneath our feet? Heaven can be on Earth. Heaven is Earth. This cathedral will be gone in a hundred years if we continue down this path.”

The floor disappears beneath our feet and he fell into the darkness. I walked above the pit to the outside of the cathedral. As I stare at the massive building it slowly faded along with the rest of the dry desert environment.

The world melted all around me. The sand dunes turned flat and the cathedral looked like a brown blob of metal paint. It looked fake.

The images started to flash again. I saw a man that I recognized from the grocery store among the pictures.

Suddenly, I’m on top of a mountain looking down upon Summit Lake in Canada. A Whitebark Pine stands tall next to me. A spotted owl hops off a branch gliding to my shoulder.

“I don’t know what to do,” I said. “Everything could be gone within hundreds of years and its our fault. We have amazing technology, yet we can’t seem to use it for anything but destroying our own planet. Why can’t we change?”

The owl turned its head ninety degrees and looked me straight in the eyes. “Everything can and will change at any moment. All it takes is a little energy.”

It jumped off my shoulder and dove into the lake below. “No, don’t leave,” I yell. I run as fast as I can down the thick brush covering the mountain. The wind embraces my body and as I run faster my legs feel like they are slowing me down. My legs go limp dragging behind me as I lift off the ground. The lake that had seemed so far away now comes racing towards me. I speed up so uncontrollably that the trees start to look like lines as they whizz by. The lake that I thought was unreachable now slams into my face.

The sound that I make while I crash into the water roared so loud it must have echoed into space. Did anybody hear it?

My body floats aimlessly in the deep, dark benthic layer of the lake. Bubbles from the explosion of my landing make a rumbling as they drift to the surface. As my body rises through the layers of water a brightly shaded pink dolphin with bulging eyes swims by me. The water slid off my face while my head broke the surface of the ocean. I lay on my back and watch the dark, gray sky as mastodonic waves crash around me.

As swiftly as the storm arrived, it left. I wander over to a large open theater that is filled with thousands of people. They are cheering for ten young boys who stand in a circle around a relic. Some people in the crowd are listening to their Ipods while some children play with rocks. I see a man staring at me from the crowd. Amazed at the site of this grand ritual, I was startled when I feel a tapping on my shoulder. I turn around and the man that was staring at me from the crowd is now right in front me.

“I hate you,” he exclaimed.

“Why do you hate me? I don’t even know you.”

“I just hate everything about you.”

His tense hands turn into a fist and as he attempts to punch me I duck and walk away. He doesn’t follow. I walk up next to a man who wears a Greek like robe and we both watch the ceremony. The boys start muttering to themselves as the ritual begins but all of a sudden a white cat with black stripes wanders into the circle. The man next to me yells, “Kill that cat.”

No! I recognize that cat. They can’t kill it. I run into the circle and grab the cat. I nestle it between my arms and race along a dirt path. When I look behind I see that no one has followed and I can’t hear the roar of the crowd anymore. The cat in my hands looked up at me with glowing blue eyes. It put it’s hand on mine while I walked forward along the path. As I pass a path that broke off of the trail that I was on, the cat started to push into my hands and I could feel his claws tugging my skin. I turned around and it stopped. I walked up to the other trail and he pushed forward on my hands. I realized that he was giving me directions.

I walk to the end of a path and come up to three platforms with signs and a button on each one. The first says ice. The second says water, and the third says truth serum. I walk up to the first and the cat gnaws at my hand again. As I walk up to the second the cat scratches harder. When I walk up to the third he stops. I look at the sign and the red button and debate. Okay. I’m in a foreign land and some guy hates me, possibly even a crowd now. And, I have no idea how to get home. But, on the other hand, this totemic animal is telling me I should press the truth serum button and I have a gut feeling that I should press it. I sit down and put the cat in my backpack while preparing myself mentally for pressing the button. The red button started glowing as I stood back up. As I neared it my breathing grew heavier. I reach forward to press it.

My eyes opened with a clock flashing a green eight o’clock.