It’s Probably Nothing

by Madeleine Luckel

“God damn it,” Julian muttered under his breath, trying to pull up his shoe which was tethered to the sidewalk by a wad of gum.

He looked up at the stormy sky and scowled. It seemed to be getting dark early, even for this time of year. He bent down and grabbed a scattered candy wrapper to pry off the sickeningly pink bubblegum. Only partially successful, he trudged along the sidewalk followed by the nagging rhythm of his right sneaker sticking to the concrete. Five more blocks. The walk home had never felt so long. But then again, he had never actually walked it; he had always taken the Town Car his company provided. Still, watching from his car window he had always thought this route looked more than manageable and even slightly pleasant. He glanced at his reflection in a store window and was startled by how much he blended into his surroundings. His gray flannel suit was the same color as the sidewalk, as the road, as the run-down shop with a for-rent sign in the window. It even seemed to match the odd smell in the air that was both stale and hinted rain was coming.

“Excuse me!” a nasally voice called.

Julian turned to face the elderly woman standing in front of him. Even though she was old he found her menacing, with her gapped-tooth grimace and her straggly gray hair. He ducked his head down and kept walking past her.

“Excuse me I said!” she growled as she grabbed the arm of his jacket.

He yanked his arm back quickly before he stopped. He stepped back from her to create a buffer.

“What do you want?” he asked, trying to set a discouraging tone to his voice.

“I need bus fare to go visit my son. Can you help me?”

He dumped some pocket change into her hand and walked away quickly.

Jesus, I am such a loser. Is that how I’m going to end up? No job, no money? I can’t believe I didn’t see this coming! He muttered to himself. Even when Sean told me he was updating his resume I thought the firm would still be able to get by . . . .

He kicked at a paper bag that was in his path and looked at the gated storefronts. Usually he whisked by them. They were just a scenic backdrop while he talked and texted on matters that seemed too urgent to wait until he got home. Now, no Blackberry beeped in his pocket, and the quiet, dark entryways filled him with foreboding. He thought he saw a person in the doorway ahead, but could it just be a shadow? Maybe it was just a homeless person … or could it be someone dangerous? He quickly crossed to the other side of the street, his city reflex kicking in without even having to think about it. There, he was quickly surrounded by several people standing in front of a brightly lit and crowded café. When the door opened a gust of laughter and warmth struck him almost like a blow.

“Julian!” A woman called to him from the doorway.

Oh no.

“Julian, come here!! It’s been so long!”

Amelia beckoned to him from the entryway of the café, laughing and tossing her long shiny brown hair. For a split second he considered pretending he hadn’t heard her, but he knew he had hesitated just a second too long.

“Hey Amelia, how’s it going?”

“Great! It’s so good to see you! These are my roommates, Eva and Peter. And this is Julian. We used to work together at that awful place, and he really taught me the ropes.”

Eva and Peter made perfunctory greeting noises to him, but then seemed to focus just over his shoulder, dismissing him without words. He couldn’t think of anything to say, but Amelia didn’t seem to notice, since she was still talking.

“….. and I know getting fired from the firm was the only reason I ended up at my new job, so I’m glad about that because it really is a step or two up, but when I talked to a lawyer….”

A lawyer? Shit! Was she going to sue the firm? What if it all came out ... what would he say? And now that the firm was belly-up, could she sue him?

“A lawyer? Why waste your time and money on ancient history? You’re making twice as much now! Leave those bastards alone!” Eva had been listening after all.

“Where are you working now?” asked Julian, hoping to deflect Amelia from mulling over her final days at the firm any more.

“I’m at Baker Frazier, doing strategic market analysis for the China sector. Great travel, fabulous bonuses. It’s a great fit for me. But what about you? Are you still cleaning up all of Jack’s messes? Who’s taking the fall for his screw-ups now that I’m gone?”

“Your table is ready, please come this way,” the hostess summoned.

“Oh Julian, do you want to join us? I really want to catch up!”

“Oh, no, that’s okay, I’m, um, I’m um, late to meet…”

“Come on, you owe me and you know it!”

Julian felt a sheen of sweat on his face, and worried the acrid smell of fear would waft from his armpits through the café. What did she mean? She couldn’t possibly know, he’d been so careful to cover his tracks . . . .

“Yeah, we’re so bored with each other we need new company!” chimed in Eva, and she smiled up at him in an unfocused way, a big martini glass tipping dangerously in her hand.

Distracted by Eva’s welcoming smile, and feeling a pang of hunger, Julian agreed to stay.

But as soon as they were seated and had ordered their drinks, Peter, who had not said a word, leaned in close to Julian, and focused his beady eyes directly on him.

“So, Julian, do tell us the story of how our dear Amelia came to be fired from the esteemed Logan firm, for mishandling client accounts I believe, when ….”
“Stop it Peter! Julian was – I mean is – my friend and was the only decent guy at that place.”

Julian’s stomach lurched. It was too ironic that he would see her today of all days. He poured some milk and sugar into his tea, slowly swirling his spoon clockwise as he watched the tea change to a lighter and more opaque shade of brown. Maybe the milk would sooth his stomach, although the truth was that his stomach had not been right for many months, even before that day six months ago when Jack’s assistant Melissa summoned him to Jack’s office.

…

Julian wasn’t worried that day, because things had been running smoothly for several months, and he was close to signing a big account, the Gilly merger.

“I’ll be right down,” he told Melissa, and he grabbed the Gilly file and headed to Jack’s corner office.

“Julian, please come in. And close the door.” Jack peered at him over his glasses, frowning slightly as he looked back down at some papers on his desk.

“Hey, Jack, how’s it going? We’re going to have a fun ride on this Gilly deal!” Julian winced at his own voice, which sounded too loud to himself.
“Julian, we have a problem.”

Shit! Shit! Shit! He’s found out! I should have stopped last month, before that last $5,000 check! It was too much money to siphon off the top without anyone noticing… Julian was sure that his heart had literally done a flip in his chest, while he struggled to keep breathing steadily.

“It seems that some funds have not been accounted for. In fact, we are missing approximately $100,000 from our merger accounts for the past year . . . .” Jack closed the folder and looked steadily at Julian.

“Oh no, that’s terrible! But maybe the accountants screwed up?” Julian asked.

“No, we’ve had it audited by our legal department. It was an inside job, and I need to get to the bottom of it.”

“Umm..” Julian stalled, wondering if he would get to read his Miranda rights here in the office if they arrested him.

“The thing is, this cannot get out, or we will lose all of our important clients. We need to just find out who is responsible, and the partners and I are going to cover the shortfall.”

“What?”

“Look, Julian, I trust you. And I know you are here late almost every night. So I want to know if you have seen anyone copying files or downloading materials after hours.”

Julian barely hesitated to consider what he was doing when he replied.

“Actually, it’s probably nothing but I did see Amelia here several times on the weekends, even when she was not part of the deal team.”

“Thank you. You’ve been very helpful, and I trust you will keep this confidential.”

…

“Julian! You are really lost in a daze! Did you hear anything I said?” Amelia leaned into him, locking her green eyes onto his.

“Sorry, I’m fried. What time is it? I’ve got to go.” Julian looked at his watch.

“A Rolex? Since when do you wear a Rolex?” Amelia exclaimed.

“Wow, you must make a lot of money,” Eva piped in, revived by the sight of gold.

Amelia opened her mouth to say something, as Julian pushed back his chair and stood up. As he reached for his coat, she grabbed his wrist. They locked eyes. She knows. Amelia hesitated for one more moment and then dropped her hand.

“See you around,” she mumbled, squinting at Julian as he stammered pleasantries and backed out of the coffee shop as quick as he could.