S-O-L-V-E-D

by Ben Weston

The classroom was cluttered with papers, desks, chairs, and students. "Economics 101" was written on the chalk board in the front of the classroom. They were all talking in groups, chatting away, except for one, who was sitting in the corner; the hood of his sweatshirt covered his eyes. He was dozing off, not interested in making small talk with his classmates. He moved his head so that his hood wasn't covering his right eye. He peered across the class and found Julie Hutchins with her powered white skin, light freckles, and brown hair sitting down at a desk half listening to another student and at the same time drawing on a blank sheet of paper. Julie's eyes wandered and met Jason's for a split second until he quickly closed his eyes and continued to doze off.

The clock struck two thirty and the students filed out of the class. Jason was the last out next to Julie. He dropped his notebook in the threshold of the door way and Julie passed him saying, "Have a nice break."

"You too," Jason said as soon as he stood up with his notebook in hand, but it was already too late. Julie was out of earshot.

Jason walked out of the building alone, going past a group of his classmates in a circle, smoking cigarettes. He walked a block down the street and passed a man handing out pamphlets. Out of courtesy, Jason took one, not wanting to hurt the man's feelings, glanced at it and put it in his back pocket.

Jason was a man of routines. He walked home from community college, like he did every day. The air was cold and brisk. Winter in Cypress Creek was no joke. Every year the roads froze over and the snow blocked Dover pass, the road that connected Cypress Creek to the next town over, Connelly.

He got home and flipped off his shoes. Every day Jason would come home and fix himself something to eat. In the winter it was usually something hot like soup and tea. With all of his fixings ready, he would plop down on the couch and turn on the TV. Every day he did this.

His younger sister would walk in around four thirty from school. She was still in elementary school and wasn't old enough to understand boredom like Jason could. His mother would get home around five thirty from her job as a secretary. She would always walk in and complain to nobody in particular about the condition of their front lawn, which once was home to a garden of sunflowers, but was now littered with two cars that had been in the process of being "repaired" for the last three years.

Finally Jason's dad, Frank, came home around six. Frank was a large man with a receding hairline and a ponytail. He had worked construction for twenty years but had to retire because of a bad back. He once dreamed of becoming a commercial airline pilot until Jason was born. Then his priorities changed. He dropped his plans to attend flight school and focused on raising his family. It was natural for him to live in Cypress Creek. His family had called Cypress Creek home for the last four generations.

Dinner was usually ham and eggs or mash potatoes with canned peaches. Every Saturday the whole family would go out for dinner at either Tino's Pizza or one of the two A&W stand in town.

Every night Jason would go to bed around eleven. This was the best part of the day for him. At night, in his bed, Jason could close his eyes, and dream. He dreamed he didn't live in Cypress Creek. He lived in a place that was sunny in December. His house was on the beach and he had a view of the ocean. Every evening he would sit on his front porch and watch the sun set on the water. The vibrant orange ball would sink slowly until the sky was dark and the earth was silent. All you could hear was the waves crashing against the beach,

He dreamed his name was not Jason Swanson, but rather Jay-Cool Suaveson. He didn't go to community college. He was a singer, songwriter, comedian, and actor.

Every Friday night he would perform his soft songs with a humorous twist to sell out clubs and theaters, and the crowd would cheer and beg for one more before the show was over. He would then put down his guitar and start talking. He would tell the crowd about his amusing anecdotes about his failed attempt at throwing a Christmas party, or about the girl he took to prom his senior year. The crowd would laugh and clap. He was the talk of the town, and loving every minute of it. Then it was back to reality.

Jason stumbled out of bed every morning and would slip on the same pair of pants he wore the day before. Today was a little bit different though. He felt something in his back pocket. It was the pamphlet that he received from the man on the street the day before. The pamphlet was advertising a man named Dr. Lewis Vee, a self-help expert. The pamphlet was covered with glossy paper that felt slick to Jason's touch. The pamphlet read: Dr. Vee will help you achieve your dreams, Free of Charge, Guaranteed."

The pamphlet said that that Dr. Vee would be at the Cypress Creek Civic Center tonight at 7 pm. This was Jason's chance to leave cypress Creek and become Jay-Cool. All he had to do was go to the meeting Dr. Vee was holding and follow his advice.

He went to school that morning with a slight skip to his step. He wished strangers in the halls a merry Christmas. He even saw Julie in the class and complimented her on her hair. He wasn't Jay-Cool Suaveson yet, but it was a start.

He came home that afternoon and when his younger sister walked in from school, Jason greeted her. "Hello Anna, how was school, can I get you a snack?"

"Um.....Yeah......sure. What's gotten into you?" she said in disbelief.

"Oh nothing, his morning I just found a slip of paper that could change my life."

Dinner was different. When his parents made mundane conversation asking if Jason was doing anything for the rest of the night he actually had a response. "Yeah, I need the car tonight."

"Oh, what are you doing with the car?" his mom asked curiously.

"Driving," Jason said sarcastically."

"If you don't want to tell me that's fine."

"I'm actually going to listen to a speaker over at the civic center."

"OOO, well have fun."

Jason took the family's SUV to the Cypress Creek Civic Center, a dilapidated building that looked more like a WWII barrack than a place where civilians congregated. Jason walked into the auditorium that could seat five hundred. The building was about half full with two minutes until Dr. Vee was scheduled to speak. People continued to trickle in.

"Welcome, my name is doctor Lewis Martin Albert Veechman, but you can call me Dr. Vee. I've helped millions of people just like you improve their life and reach their dreams. If you fell tired, depressed, insecure, unhappy, upset, or like you just can't go on anymore, don't worry, I can help you.

Jason was captivated. Dr. Vee's loud, confident voice rang out across the audience. His brown hair was combed over his head. He was clean-shaven and was wearing a gray suite and white undershirt. "I've turned losers into winners, nerds into lady's man, idiots into geniuses all because of my six step program." "If you follow my five step program, detailed in my book, I guarantee you will be able to reach your dreams. The first key to success is sophistication. No matter what your goals are, you need to be sophisticated. Learn about fine wine, opera, cigars, anything to make you seem sophisticated. The next key to success is your outfit. A great outfit sets the tone for anybody you are trying to impress. The third key is language. You need to know a lot of foreign languages as well as a lot of English. Use this tool to your advantage, it gives you endless possibilities. The next key to success is value. You need to learn how to show value. Don't have somebody look like they have more value than you, don't seem desperate, and by all mean necessary, never, ever, eat food off the floor, it's a disgusting, despicable act that lowers your value."

Spit flew through the air as Dr. Vee said "despicable."

"The next key to success is extreme. You've got to go to extremes in order to reach your goal. And finally, the final key to success in destiny. Anything you want to do, anything, it's your destiny. And if you these steps, you can achieve your dreams. Remembering the six steps is easy. They form an acronym, S-O-L-V-E-D. If you want to read more about being solved, just buy my book. It goes into great detail about each step."

Dr. Vee took a bow and the crowd rose to their collective feet, clapping, whistling, and cheering. As soon as Dr. Vee exited the stage, the audience hurried over to a table by the entrance to the civic center that had stacks of Dr. Vee's book. With in minutes every book was sold.

Instead of going over to the book table and getting caught in the pandemonium, Jason adventured back stage to Dr. Vee's dressing room. Jason barged in without knocking to find Dr. Vee in his make-up chair, with his tie on the ground and shoes off.

"Dr. Vee?"

"Who the hell are you?"

"I'm Jason Swanson, I'm a huge fan, I-"

"That's great, SECURITY!"

"Wait, let me talk to you for two minutes."

Dr. Vee didn't speak for a second and then finally said "Only if you do me one favor."

"What's that?"

"Could you toss me that pack of Marlboros over there."

"Yeah sure."

Jason gave Dr. Vee the pack a cigarettes. Dr. Vee stuck one into his mouth, lit it, took a drag, then, and with the cigarette still in his mouth said, "Ok kid, you got two minutes."

"Thank you, ok, first off, I wanted to you that you're speech tonight was inspiring-"

"Nah, don't mention it."

"Oh, but tit was. Every single one of our books was bought tonight and I think that’s a great-"

"Well you know, that my philosophy in life, just make money and everything will fall into place...and follow my six step program, that too, but you can never make too much money."

"I also wanted to ask you a quick question."

"Go ahead, shoot."

"Does the six step program actually work?"

"Does it actually work, of course it works, I self created it, I self tested it and look at me, I'm rich, looked up to, and I go home to a hot wife might I add."

"Great, just wondering."

"If you use my six step program, the possibilities are endless."

Just then the door opened and a large man with a thick beard came trough the door. " Hey Vee, you ready to go, I gotta get out of this shit town. Duluth is about 80 miles away, I figure...Who are you?"

"Mitch, this is Jeremy Swordson-"

"Its actually Jason Swanson." Jason shook the man's hand.

"Mitch is my manager," Dr. Vee said, " you about ready to go Mitch?

"Yeah I was waiting in he parking lot for like fifteen minutes. I scored some blow-"

"SHHH," Dr. Vee hissed at Mitch, “Can we talk about this in the car?"

As Dr. Vee got up to leave, he knocked over some refreshments, spilling some cheese and crackers on the ground. He looked at Jason and asked "You gonna eat that?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"It would violate step number four, it would diminish my value."

"Well then if you don't mind." Dr. Vee scooped some crackers into his hand and walked out of the room, astonished, Jason drove home a little discouraged by Dr. Vee's actions. But through out the car ride couldn't forget Dr. Vee's encouraging words.

The following day Jason ordered several tapes off the Internet in order to improve his vocabulary. The tapes promised to increase his vocabulary by 750 words after he listened to the four tapes that were two hours each. He bought a book titled "The Finer Things". The book was authored by none other than Dr. Vee.

He bought an inexpensive guitar and started to take a beginners guitar class at the civic center twice a week. After a couple weeks he could play several chords.

He stopped wearing his usual blue jeans and t-shirts and started to wear polo and flannel shirt, vests, and long sleeve shirts.

Jason walked around town with a certain amount of pride that he previously couldn't attain. On Friday nights he started to go to cafe Jimi, a cafe that had an open mic on Friday nights. Jason never dared to go on stage, but he enjoyed listen to the people that did perform.

This particular night Jimi was pack. The waitresses and waiters could barely squeeze through the tables to take people’s orders and believer people their food.

Jason was sitting in the back and could barely see the figure that was on stage through the dimly lit room.

Jason squinted just enough to make out the person approaching the mic. It looked like Julie. Jason realized, it was Julie!

"Hello, I'm going to be singing Hallelujah, by Rufus Wainwright."

Some people in the crowd cheered. Jason just stood in amazement as Julie began to sing. Instantly Jason was almost teleported into a different dimension by Julie's high pitched, feminine voice. He didn't even listen to the lyrics, but the pure sounds that came from Julie's mouth. He lost track of time and when Julie finished, Jason snapped out of his trance from the applause and cheers of the crowd. Julie left the stage and Jason followed her back stage.

Jason approached Julie. "Hey Julie, that was amazing!"

"Oh, hi, Jason. Funny seeing you here. I didn't know you go to Jimi."

"Oh yeah, my presence in this eating establishment has endured the longevity of my college years."

"Wow, that's a lot of words, well, I've got to go but I'll see you on Monday in class ok?"

"Sounds good."

The next week Jason was a little hesitant to talk to Julie. He had attempted to woo her with his newfound vocabulary, but from his point of view, it was ineffective. He got up the guts to talk to her by Thursday. After school he found her outside of the college and walked with her. "Hey Julie, how's it?"

"Not too bad, how bout yourself?"

"Can't complain. You got any plans for the weekend?"

"I'm going to Jimi again."

"Are you going up on stage again?"

"No, not this week."

"Well I was think about going to Jimi this Friday, do you wanna go with me?"

She paused for a moment and said, "Yeah, I'd like that."

Jason waited in the parking lot of cafe Jimi for Julie to show up. She arrived and he accompanied her inside. The place was even more crowed than the Friday before. Jason sat back and watch the performers. There were comedians, jugglers, singers, and pianists. Julie seemed to be having a good enough time.

Jason excused him self to go to the bathroom. Instead he ran to his car, and re-entered the building with his guitar. He rushed up on stage and spoke into the mic. "Hello, my name is Jason, an I...," Jason looked out into the crowd that seemed endless, each set of eyes staring at him. He found Julie's eyes and tried to speak again, “and I...," his throat was tightening up, and he felt sick to his stomach,"...I...." Jason's eyes rolled back and he fell back ward onto the hard wood stage. Some people rushed over to Jason to assist him, but he was out cold.

Jason woke up in a daze in a hospital bed with his family and Julie by his side.

"Hey big guy, feeling ok?" his dad asked.

"What happened?"

"You fainted on stage at Jimi, you've been out cold for eight hours," Julie explained to him.

"Oh Julie, I'm so sorry, I wrote a song for you, and I was going to perform it-"

"Don't worry about it."

"I feel like a complete idiot, what was I thinking, I'm sorry for ruining your Friday night."

"It's ok, that's sweet that you wrote a song for me."

"I'll make it up to you, you wanna go back next week end and I'll perform it this time, promise."

"Promise?"

"Promise, so how does that sound?"

"Sounds good, sounds good."