I’m Addicted to You

by Geoffrey Mahley

Music blasted out of his car speakers. He tapped his fingers to the beat. He changed the song. He did whatever he could to keep his mind busy. It was late now, and his eyelids grew heavy. Green light, red light, green light, green light. The colors began to blur together. He formulated patterns in his head to keep his mind focused. Patrick grew weary of the patterns and let his mind wander. The streets all looked the same now. The buildings got bigger and the lights got brighter. He now looked at the dashboard clock every ten seconds. It was hard now to keep his mind in one place. It consumed him. His eyelids fluctuated. Everything looked the same. Two bleeding eyes stared back at him in the rear view mirror. A pale face with an unkept goatee appeared after them. The eyes burned through him and grabbed his mind. He lost control.

He was Patrick Cunningham. Patrick worked at an office, a normal nine to five with full health benefits. He had worked at the office with his eyes shut since he finished graduate school. In college Pat did whatever he wanted. He was good looking, smart and suave. After his stint at college ended, Pat focused on getting a good job, and happiness. Everything else in life would fit together as long as he possessed those two things. He soon realized the world was a tough unforgiving place.

He awoke to a constant beep that grew faster the longer he was awake. There were small tubes attached to his veins. His arms were covered in plaster in some places. A dark room was all that he could make out. Patrick shut his eyes again.

When Patrick opened his eyes, they found an analogue clock directly across from his bed. There he lay, in his bed trying to put his life together. How did I get here? Why am I here? He couldn’t handle it and passed out once again.

“Patrick?”

“Yeah,” Pat mumbled.

“Good, you’re conscious. Well, do you know why you are here?”

“No, where am I? And…who are you?” Patrick’s eyes were still blurry.

“You are in a hospital. I am Carrie, and I have been your nurse for the last three months. You have been really out of it,” he was finally able to make out the voice and figure of a female.

“Wha…what happened?”

“You were…in a car crash. It was pretty bad. That’s why you are all bandaged up.”

Patrick was speechless.

“I am going to give you some time to think about this. I’ll be back in a few minutes. Okay?” The nurse left the room quietly.

When did this happen? What was I doing? Patrick couldn’t help from feeling extreme sorrow. This is a dream, this MUST be a dream. His mind brought itself back, way back.

Candy. Candy was the first woman he had kissed. He remembered those lips more vivid than his first day of school. “I’m leaving”

“Why?” answered Patrick.

“You used me up. Did you really imagine things staying the way they are now?” Candy replied.

“But…you…can’t leave me. I need you.”

“I’m sorry”

Those were the last words he ever heard out of those sweet lips. She had left him. The first woman he had ever kissed. He remembered that fiery tongue igniting his mind. Those words continuously echoed throughout his mind. What did I do wrong? Why did she leave me? He would think, always.

“How are you feeling today, Patrick?”

“I’m alright.”

“Well, today is your check out day.”

“Yes.”

“Are you sure you’re ready to leave?”

“We’ll never know until I do.”

“I just want to make sure that you are fine and can take care of yourself.”

“Carrie, I am a grown man.”

“Okay, sign here. And this is your copy. Please watch yourself, Patrick.”

Patrick’s life had paused but the world around him hadn’t. Nothing was his anymore. Everything he had was taken from him now. All he needed now was to know what happened that night. When Pat thought back to that night, the only image branded in his head was those bleeding eyes.

Ever since Candy left, Patrick was only close with one person. Andre was his one and only friend. They met at a house party. Whenever Patrick would feel lonely he would call over buddy Andre and they would spend the drought out evenings together, shooting the shit and playing dominoes. Andre worked a bunch of odd jobs all over the city, sporting an all white suit with a red hat to each occupation. He helped all those who were in need of it. Through his work, he became very popular and everyone wanted him around. Somehow, however, Andre found time to call Patrick non stop.

“Hello?”

“Hey Patrick. It’s Andre. How’s it going man? Are you free?”

“Shit man. Yeah.”

“I feel that. You want me to come over?”

“Uhhhh. Sure. I’m down.”

“I’ll be there in a sec. Peace.”

Andre entered the dark cavernous room unfazed by the depressing scene. The room was lit only by the various colors on the HD television. Stepping over old Chinese food containers and clothes, he made his way over to the couch where Patrick sat.

“Sup bro.” said Andre.

“Nothing much. I’ve just been hanging out all day. It’s tough now that that asshole fired me.”

“Why’d he fire you?”

“I dono. He said that I have no work ethic anymore. Which is bullshit.”

“You’re always bitching about your job, man. Why do you care?”

“I mean, it was my job. It was my life.”

“It’s cool. Just hang out with me. You know you always have a good time when you’re with me.”

“Yeah.”

“Yeah, see.”

The two of them sat there for the rest of the night, enticed by the glare of the television.

As Patrick stepped out into the real world, his eyes took a while to adjust. Buildings didn’t look as tall and colors were very blunt. He stood in front of the hospital for a couple minutes, taking in these new sights, amazed. The noises of the city belted in and out of his ears keeping his feet glued to the ground. He shook his head and snapped out of it. The hospital provided him with one set of clothes: jeans, white t-shirt, and a faded black pea coat. He found a small flip phone in the pocket of the pea coat and his release papers. Not knowing what to do, he opened it and dialed Andre.

“Pat, meet Candy.”

This was the first time he had seen someone as beautiful and intricate as this. She took him by surprise. Her scent made his nose hairs curl. They even burned a little at first. Everything around her seemed cloudy and felt he was in a dream. Candy wore a short white dress. The glitter she had on made it seem as if her entire body was covered in tiny crystals.

Candy and Patrick clicked at once, but after a few more meetings they became very close. It got to the point where they were inseparable. Wherever Candy was, Patrick was not far away. Patrick grew to love her very quickly. She would hang out with him and his friends during the day, and then keep him company when he was home. She was always around to make him feel better when he was down. Candy burned inside of him and kept him high when he was low.

“Hello?”

“Andre? This is Patrick. I just got out of the hospital. Where are you?

“I’m taking care of business downtown.”

“I need to meet up with you. I haven’t seen you in a while.”

“Ok, it’s cool. I’m there for you man. Go downtown, then call me.”

“Thanks so much.”

“No problem”.

Patrick began walking downtown. It was night now, but the hospital was only a few blocks from the heart of downtown, where he was supposed to meet Andre. Walking is good. It gives you time to think. I’m so lucky I have someone who can be there for me whenever I need them.

“What’s up Andre?” They were in an alleyway between two apartments. Patrick began to feel exhausted and had to sit down. Andre slowly walked over to Patrick and looked down on him. “Do you know…what…happened to me? Why I was in the hospital?” Patrick heaved between breaths.
“Patrick, you have been a good friend…”

“What…are…you…talking about?” It was painful to talk now. His own words didn’t make sense to him.

“Goodbye Patrick.” After those words snuck through the air, Andre disappeared into the night.

“WHERE DID YOU GO! I NEED YOU!” His words were drowned out by a siren getting louder. Patrick couldn’t do anything but slouch over. The red and blue lights gave annoyed him but he had no energy to do anything about them.

“Holy shit! Load him up, LOAD HIM UP.”

“What do I do with his pipe?”

“Fuck his pipe, we need to get him to the hospital NOW.”

Patrick was floating now, through the air. He felt something going through his pockets. He tried to open his mouth to talk, to tell them to stop, but only gibberish spewed out.

“Jesus Christ. This guy just got released from the hospital,” said the paramedic as he filed through the papers he found in Patrick’s pea coat. “Apparently this isn’t his first experience with crack. He wrapped his car around a pole while he was high.”

“This shit is a disease.”

Carrie watched as the doctors huddled over Patrick. They preformed C.P.R. but to no avail. She tried hard not to swallow her tongue.