BrotherHood

by Morris Callegari

Keenan’s eyes opened and it was still dark. He sat up in bed and rubbed his eyes. His brother, Cameron, mumbled and turned over in the bed, pulling the covers over to his side. Keenan looked at him with a blank expression for a moment, then smiled.
Pulling his pants on, he opened the drawer quietly so he wouldn't disturb Cameron's sleep. He put his hand in and took out a packet of white ecstacy pills that had an imprint of a dove on each them. Then slipped them into his back pocket as he opened the door and closed it behind him just as quietly. The house looked run down with paint chipping on every inch.
The second Keenan left the room, Cameron sat straight up in bed, wide awake. He had been for three hours; he couldn’t sleep. He got up and dressed quickly, to follow Keenan outside.

Keenan took his hands away from his face while walking across the dirt and scattered cement sidewalk. He looked at the lake near their house, its surface reflecting the moon’s light. His hand clenched into a fist when he remembered what day it was, for maybe the hundredth time in the last twenty-four hours.
It was his fifteenth birthday, and nobody gave a shit. Not his parents who always had something to do away from the house. They hadn't even been there to pay the rent for the house. His brother Cameron didn't seem to care either. Tears built up his eyes as he hung his head, long dreaded hair falling around his face. His own brother didn’t care what day it was. Except that it was New Year’s also, right? He wasn’t even sure he’d been born on this day. They had never noticed all that much since he turned ten.

Keenan then reached into his pocket to grab a dime bag, put it in the wrapping of a swisher and lit it. His nose turned up at the strong scent.

How do people get used to this?
He went to put it out but paused and decided against it. Putting it back to his mouth, he tried it again, not inhaling the smoke this time. He blew it out just as he had watched Kailo do countless times before. It mixed with the white cloud his breath made in the chill January air and disappeared from his sight.

I gotta stop this.

Keenan leaned back on his hand with his bloodshot eyes, sighed. Fifteen years old and he couldn’t wait to leave home. Maybe next year, he thought, the idea made him smile for once. He couldn’t wait to be out on his own, with his own place, and see the look on Cameron's face when he said that they were going to live together. Keenan knew his little brother was as impatient as he was to get away from home.
Cameron made sure he was under the covers once Keenan had come back to bed. He could sleep even less than before. The image of Keenan taking the pills was stuck in his head, it wasn’t going away. He knew that Keenan had been hanging around with guys that do that, but he’d never have thought he would be stupid enough to copy them. Now Keenan smoked too.
Cameron turned over facing Keenan, who was fast asleep again. His breathing was slower than it should have been, Cameron was sure. He put a cold hand on his brother’s chest, who jerked and woke up.
“Gerroff…” he mumbled.
“Sorry...” muttered Cameron, taking his hand away and looking down. Keenan glanced at

him with one eye open; he could see that something was on Cameron’s mind.
“What’s up?” he asked.
Cameron shook his head, shuffling closer to his brother under the covers. Keenan sighed softly and puts his arm around him.
“C’mon, I know somethin's up. Or are you too old to talk to your big brother?” 
Cameron shook his head and looked up to him, pupils wide in the dark. Keenan’s long hair was brushing his cheeks but he didn’t move back and moved closer instead, wanting to feel Keenan’s warmth there with him. 
“Nout.” He replied. He could smell smoke on Keenan, in his hair, in his breath, in his skin. He hated it. 
“Ow... geez, Cam,” Keenan murmured when Cameron dug his nails into his flesh. He shuffled back a little and put a hand on his cheek. “What the hell’s up with you?” 
Cameron shook his head again sharply, tears filling his eyes and blurring his vision now. 
He’d only make things worse if he admitted he’d seen what his brother was doing so he kept his mouth shut. Keenan guessed he wasn’t going to say anything so he kept his skinny arms around his younger brother and started to settle off to sleep again fitfully. They had fallen asleep like this many times before but something was different. There were four years between them, but now, to Cameron, it seemed like it could be a century. Cameron felt as if he could have been hugging an adult when he finally felt Keenan’s body loosen and sleep take over his limbs.
Cameron was a whole child ago. And there was nothing he could do to keep Keenan with him.
Cameron watched his brother sleeping, like he had for a couple of years now. The smell of weed made him sick to his stomach. He looked at Keenan, and slightly went under the covers, trying to find the weed and something to wrap it in. He went into Keenan's front pockets gently, and found that he still had one left, he pulled it out and looked at it. Cameron glanced at Keenan again, slid out of bed, and walked out of their room.
He went down the stairs trembling, blunt in hand. Took the lighter off the table and looked at both of them. Then goes and sits on the couch, not sure what to do.
He'd seen people smoke before, but he'd never tried it. He did what he saw other people do when he saw people lighting cigarettes. He burned his thumb and a few fingers trying to light it, until it was lit. He put the lighter down and put it in his mouth. 
He thought... If Keenan does it... I guess... I should too...
It was a childish thought, but he thought he'd be mature and act more like his brother if he smoked, even if he would smell the strong scene of tobacco 24 / 7. Cameron tried to blow the smoke out smoothly but instead it came out in clumps as he coughed violently. He looked to the blunt, "How does this make you mature?" he wondered, Cameron coughed again and put it to his mouth.
"I don't get people sometimes...”

He put the last of the blunt out and stood up. He went up the stairs, feeling sick now, but thinking he'd be all mature and when his brother found out, think he's clever and not this little child. Cameron went back to the bed and slid in between the sheets, putting Keenans arm over his chest, Cameron smelling stronger of blunt than Keenan. Cameron closed his eyes and inhaled slightly, he tried to get to sleep, but he couldn't...
Keenan will be proud... I hope he will. I'll be just like him, and be able to live like him....

The first idea that hit Keenan’s mind when he woke up was the sharp smell of smoke. He opened his eyes and sat up, looking down at himself. He was sure he hadn’t smelled that bad last night…
Moving slightly so he wouldn't disturb his Cameron again, he got up, undressed, and padded barefoot into the bathroom. The floor was freezing as his feet touched it, he turned the shower on to hot and waited until it had warmed up, sitting on the edge of the bath-tub. He looked at his reflection in the mirror, the dark shadows under his eyes which revealed something more than just sleep-deprivation. Something Keenan wasn’t aware of yet.
He studied himself for a few more seconds then stood up, opened the shower door and walked in, the boiling water hitting his back. He’d never taken to showers being just warm.
At the table, Cameron came bounding up, smiling wide. “Hey Keenan,” he said, plonking himself next to his brother. Keenan smiled back, his chin resting on one hand and then the other on the back of the chair. There was an almost full bowl of cereal in front of him which Cameron looked at now worriedly. Keenan hadn’t been eating the past few weeks; he was losing far too much weight.
“Are you not hungry?” he inquired quietly, looking back at Keenan.
“…No.” he replied, pulling his gaze from the bowl and looking out the window instead. He could smell smoke again and was sure it wasn’t him this time. He glanced at Cameron, swinging his legs on the chair that was too tall for him still, eyes bright and filled with acknowledgment towards him. He wasn’t the kind of kid who’d smoke, he thought.
It was only after a moment when Cameron looked at him strangely that he realized his little brother had asked him something.
“What?"
“What are you doing today?” asked Cameron again. Keenan shrugged.
“Nothing, I guess, we’ve still got a week of holiday.”
“You wanna come to the library with me?”
Keenan frowned now; Cameron looked down slightly, smile fading.
“Since when have you been interested in reading, Cameron?”

When he didn’t reply, Keenan got the message.
“Oh.”
“Yeah, she’s always there on a Wednesday…”
“Y’know…” Keenan started, choosing his words before carrying on. “If you like her, you shouldn’t stalk her...”
Cameron thought about this, choosing an equally good argument to counter act his brother’s comment.
“Yeah but…she doesn’t even know I exist, Keenan.”
“Is that a good reason to stalk her then?”
Cameron shook his head, gaze on his toes now. Keenan ruffled his hair, smiling. 
“If you want to. But if you want her to like you, don’t dog her footsteps. Talk to her?”
He nodded and looked back up, smiling again now. Keenan had to smirk back, it was inevitable.

The doorbellrang, Cameron looked out the window to see who was there. He then called Keenan to get the door: it was Kailo. He was a tall heavy set man wearing all black who looked a lot older than he actually was. He had bloodshot eyes and burn marks all over his hands.

"you know what today is right?" Kailo said,

"Yeah, yeah I do..." Keenan said

"Alright, don't forget..."

Kailo walked away quickly very aware of his surroundings. Keenan's facial expression completely dropped as he sighed and walked back to the kitchen.
***
Keenan was sitting alone in a dark room; the only thing visible was the dirty window that illuminated the room. The walls were a grimy olive colour and the floorboards were caked with filth and something was growing in there. He could smell decay and it made him gag. He heard muffled sobs from somewhere; there was a crouched figure in the corner, back towards him. It looked like a person, or something that had been one, at least. It turned now, facing Keenan whose insides froze with revulsion.

It was as if someone had crudely stitched together a young boy about his age, as if he were a rag doll. There were stitches slashing across every part of skin visible and most noticeably at the corners of his mouth, turning the miserable grimace which it had into a psychotic grin. Its – his – eyes were round and large and glittering like beetles with the tears that stained its cheeks grey. There were almost no pupils and where they were they were ragged and contracted to vicious dots, the irises were a repulsive shade of yellow. Long hair that looked as if it had once been black hung around his shoulders, matted with dirt and grease. After this Keenan had to close his eyes, bile burning the back of his throat. That's what smelled like decay. 
“Keeenaaan...” it called, voice hoarse and surprisingly soft, timid almost, like a small child. Clammy fingers touched his face, probing his cheeks. Keenan opened his eyes again wide, jerked backwards at the deformed thing’s touch. When he looked again, it wasn’t him standing there. It was himself.
His face was gaunt and hollowed, dull brown eyes peering out from sockets encircled with black and rimmed with blood. Bloodless broken lips spotted with scars from biting, the bones in his chest sticking out like a skeleton. His hand came up again and in the dim room they looked like pallid spiders, crawling towards Keenan’s neck. 
“Get away from me!!” he screamed, pushing back against the wall, chair clattering to the floor. Keenan brought one hand up to his face and narrowed his eyes tight as the image of him screamed back. The sound was harsh and shrill and it hurt his ears. The doppelganger Keenan put his hands to his head, curling his fingers in the long tangled ebony hair. It fell through his fingers strand by strand until he was bald, the lack of anything making his eyes seem to bulge from his head now.  
The real Keenan brought both his arms up to his face, blocking the creature from view. The scream was still vibrating in his ears over and over, his own voice. He couldn’t take anymore; he was going to lose it…

"Who are you?!"

the creature chuckled and said, "I'm you..."
“Keenan please just wake the fuck up!!”

Cameron shook his brother continuously, yelling his name over and over. The fact that he wouldn’t wake up and was screaming worried him; Keenan had been acting strange these last few days. Please don’t let him be thinking about that again…
Keenan grabbed Cameron’s arms, fingertips biting into his skin painfully. He yelped and tried to pull his arm away from Keenan. His brown eyes opened now, he was facing straight at the ceiling, eyes wide even now. He mouthed something Cameron couldn’t hear under his breath over and over and sat up. Cameron could see he wasn’t alright; his frame was shaking violently, eyes flickering around the room but not resting on anything for long. When he finally realized Cameron was there, his grip loosened on his arm and he muttered an apology. 
“S’okay, I guess. You were having a nightmare?” 
Keenan nodded, eyes still checking out everything in sight for a moment more before he looked back to his brother. He swallowed and closed his eyes, breathed in and out deeply. He calmed down and sat up properly, legs crossed.

“You want me to get you some water?” Cameron asked, getting up ready.
“Water, thanks, I think I bit my tongue...” 
He nodded and walked out into the bathroom.

"Here you go."

"Thanks... Cameron, what the.. Are those burn marks on your hand?"

Cameron looked at Keenan with guilt, "umm... yeah, I might have smoked a little bit... But I didn't mean to!"

`Keenan's attitude completely changed and he left the house not saying a word. He laid his head back against the wall of the house with a light thud, eyes still firmly closed. He couldn't take much more of this...

Keenan walked a couple blocks down the street to meet Kailo. He was frequently examining his surroundings, he thought someone was following him but then he just kept walking to his destination. Maybe I'm just paranoid...

Keenan met up with Kailo in a brick ally behind a abandoned old liquior store. It seemed like there was atleast one bullet hole per brick. Keenan never liked being there. Kailo was leaning against a dumpster, his eyes usually looked bloodshot but there was something different about them this time. It was almost as if they were vibrating.

"What's wrong with your face? Take that mug off," Kailo said.

"I have to stop this... But I don't want my brother to end up sellin pills like me."

Kailo's body tensed up and balled his fists.

"Pssshh... yeah right... If you want to leave then fuck you then!"

"I'm sorry man..."

Keenan started walking away from Kailo, Kailo then pulled out a gun. As Keenan was walking he squinted his eyes to see someone in the distance. Is that Cameron?

BANG!

Cameron watched Keenan collapse to the ground. He ran away with tears running down his cheeks, didn't know what to do, or where to go. Did Keenan even care?